Y’all know snoring has become a problem for me.
Wait…Let’s get this out of the way first:
Yes. I know it could be because I’ve gained weight. Yes. I know losing weight could fix it. But please know that if you tell me that, I will feel the rage of hundreds of years of body oppression. I believe in Health At Every Size and I will 100% ignore any solutions to any problems that start with weightloss.
We’ve lost the war on obesity. Fighting fat hasn’t made the fat go away. And being thinner, even if we knew how to successfully accomplish it, will not necessarily make us healthier or happier. The war on obesity has taken its toll.
Extensive “collateral damage” has resulted: Food and body preoccupation, self-hatred, eating disorders, discrimination, poor health, etc. Few of us are at peace with our bodies, whether because we’re fat or because we fear becoming fat.
Health at Every Size is the new peace movement. It helps us recognize that health outcomes are primarily driven by social, economic, and environmental factors, requiring a social and political response. It also supports people of all sizes in adopting healthy behaviors. It is an inclusive movement, recognizing that our social characteristics, such as our size, race, national origin, sexuality, gender, disability status, and other attributes, are assets, and acknowledges and challenges the structural and systemic forces that impinge on living well.
Health At Every Size
OKAY! Back to snoring.
(Can you tell I’m a little sensitive about the whole “losing weight helped me stop snoring!” thing?)
So we have insurance now – which is what we were waiting for. So, I could get a sleep study but the co-pay is still more than we want to spare since we have no consistent income and are living off savings. And you know what? The problem doesn’t feel as urgent anymore because we’re all sleeping so much better.
Why?
Because I’m still camping inside the living room!
We set this up in October and I’m still using it and that, along with sleep training (sticking to the same bedtime/wake routines every night) and I’m feeling much better about the sleep situation. It’s hard to stick to my bedtime routine though when everyone likes to be in the living room watching TV/playing video games past my 9pm bedtime. But on those nights someone usually trades we me and they take the tent and I get their bed.
I do not accept this offer from Nikki because her mattress is TERRIBLE. Add it to the long list of things we’ll replace if we ever have an income again.
I mean, the cot is not the perfect picture of comfort, but a lot of the “comfort” problems I have are the same I had in my bed so I’m not sure the bed is the problem as much as my old body. The dog has gotten used to it and even sleeps more with me in the living room with him so he doesn’t wake us up anymore to go out in the middle of the night like he used to. I don’t wake up when Donnie is tossing and turning. There are so many benefits to this situation that have nothing to do with my snoring that I am not thinking: I NEVER WANT TO SHARE A BED WITH MY HUSBAND AGAIN.
And yes, he kinda agrees. He’s sleeping better too because – not only am I not snoring anymore – but he doesn’t hear me wake up at the crack of dawn and my tossing and turning doesn’t wake him up either. And he definitely benefits from the dog sleeping better because it was usually him that got up.
Now, is this a good permanent solution? Eh. No. I’d definitely like some cushion over time. We have a few camping pads in it and that helps but I do feel the bars and I do think it’s starting to sag a bit. I’m trying to decide if we pay for a sleep study or if we buy a better rollaway bed. Not sure. Either way, we have settled into our identities as the weirdos with a tent in their living room and there’s no going back now.
My husband and I switched to sleeping in different beds a few years ago and we’re both much healthier for it. He is a VERY light sleeper and would wake up every time I moved in bed and I would always feel anxious about keeping him up with my movement. Initially we would start in the same bed and then one of us would move in the middle of the night, and ultimately we decided why not start out in different beds. I love my husband dearly, but sleeping together just isn’t for everybody.
My husband is a snorer and has a bad back. I have insomnia and am an incredibly light and very restless sleeper. It’s not a great combination and we gave up on sharing a bed ages ago. I do miss some of the closeness that comes with sleeping in the same bed, but I don’t think we’re ever going back. We both sleep so much better this way.
I listened to an interview with an author this morning, and the whole time, all I could think was, this sounds like a Kim book! Have you heard of Laziness Does Not Exist by Dr. Devon Price? I haven’t listened to the entire interview yet, but it is such a multi-layered discussion about perceived “laziness” and how that affects so many parts of our lives and our society. It was really interesting.
https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast/440-laziness-does-not-exist-with-dr-devon-price/
I’ve lost over 30 pounds and my BMI is now “normal”. I still snore!
The older I get, the more that I understand how people sleep in different beds. It should be so much more normalized.