I’ve been experiencing these FAST and SEVERE flashes of rage the last few days. I started experiencing this with perimenopause and it’s REALLY common but it has gotten much more intense as this pandemic wears on and my patience is disappearing.
Yesterday I was telling Donnie, “I’m just taking NO SHITS from anyone right now! I totally went off on a person in our neighborhood Facebook group for threatening to post a picture of someone leaving a bag of dog poop in their yard!”
Donnie was a little alarmed because, you know, my anger is rare and therefore a little unpredictable and he was very worried I had done something to embarrass us in front of people we liked. So, I showed him.
In case you can’t see the image for some reason, Person A was unhappy someone left the bag of dog poop in their yard (For the record, Donnie says he does this sometimes and picks it up on the way back so he doesn’t have to carry it down the street) and was threatening/teasing posting a security camera picture and went so far as to describe the woman and the dog. And my “SO ANGRY…I WENT OFF” comment?
“Thank you for not posting a pic. It wasn’t me but I have made bad decisions on bad days and I would hate to have my picture posted in a public forum to shame me in one of those bad moments. This is a hard time for everyone I think it’s good to try to give each other grace. Hopefully it was just a one-time mistake in a moment of anxiety and you won’t have to worry again.”Me. SO VERY VICIOUS.
Donnie laughed because, well, based on how I described it he was expecting something a little more…angry? And once I re-read my comment I kinda laughed too because…I SWEAR IT FELT LIKE I WAS GOING OFF ON THIS PERSON. Mainly because I felt so angry when I wrote it. I abhor public shaming of minor mistakes in people’s lives and jeezus…this woman is OUR NEIGHBOR, can we not at least show kindness to our LITERAL NEIGHBORS?
But my comment was very reserved and sweet and I don’t think it had a hint of anger in it.
BUT I FELT IT, DAMMIT.