I saw something on Twitter yesterday that said, “So happy to see my favorite bloggers back to blogging during this time,” and I thought…Oops. I seemed to have stopped.
Here’s why, though. While everyone else’s life seems less busy and more contained, mine is much crazier than before the shut down. Imagine if there were suddenly 3 times more people in your office every day. Would you be able to get as more work done? What if those people expected you to feed them? And clean up after them? And keep the dog quiet during your meetings?
Yeah. I went from having plenty of solo time…6-7 hours a day to plan as I wish…to do housework and dishes and laundry and grocery shopping at leisure and listen to my podcasts and blog…so I could have my evenings free to do soccer and book club and watch movies with the family. But now? Now I spend all of Donnie’s work day trying to keep activity down to a minimum to reduce background chaos for his virtual meetings…while also trying to figure out how to enrich my kids…while also trying to go check on my Mom and walk her dog. So NONE of my “normal” daily activities are getting done in any sort of “normal” schedule.
So while everyone else is finding more quality time at home because they’re trapped there, I’m finding less time because EVERYONE ELSE IS NOW TRAPPED HERE TOO.
But this week is going better. We hung a curtain over the sliding glass door this weekend so Zoomie won’t jump at it every time the neighbor’s dog is outside. I’m also in a much better head space (last week was rough because the anxiety of getting my Mom settled and figuring out a good routine with her was crazy-making) and we’ve figured out good daily systems to give Donnie a decent work environment. On Monday I gave the kids good structure but yesterday was shit because the weather screwed up my schedule with Mom (I go over there more when it’s raining because I worry about her taking the dog out when it’s wet) and Wes had a rough night sleeping so I let everyone do what they wanted and stay in bed all day yesterday.
And I don’t feel bad about it.
At least not too bad about it.
I am going to have to mute a lot of my Mom friends on social media. So many of them are baking or getting their teenagers to spend quality time with them (HOW DO YOU DO THAT?) or working on their gardens and a lot of those Mom friends ARE ALSO WORKING FROM HOME SIMULTANEOUSLY and I am finally experiencing that shame from comparison that a lot of people talk about. Normally my Mom friends are pretty chill and I’m not intimidated by them at all but something about this time is making them all fucking superheroes and I’m over here literally wearing the same clothes 3 days in a row and I don’t even have a job. So you people and your great instastories of happy and productive families NEED TO BE SILENCED BEFORE I SHAME SPIRAL.
OH. Another “extra” that has been added to my life besides the 300% increase in people in my office every day…is my adult son’s hours got cut (he does marketing at a place that is now closed down so doesn’t need much marketing) and my Mom is now living in town. While I definitely worried about them both before, they are both now part of my daily worry list in that I want to make sure they have enough food and supplies. I’ve been bringing E leftovers to help him save money and I’m doing the grocery shopping for my Mom. So I basically added two single-person households to my care list this week and THAT IS ALSO WHY I AM STILL WEARING MONDAY’S CLOTHES.
Honestly though? We’re actually doing okay. I got my Xanax refilled but I haven’t needed it. We are settling into functioning systems and routines. Donnie is supposed to scream “ALL CLEAR!” when he’s off a meeting and no one is watching our house behind his head so I can rush to be loud and wash dishes and make lunches and take the dog out. It’s not that we can’t be in the background of his videos, he actually wants all of his team to be honest and not use digital backgrounds and stuff because he thinks it’s important they all understand each other’s work situations…but we just don’t like it so we all hide in our bedrooms and give him the main area of the house which, of course, includes the kitchen WHERE ALL OF THE FOOD IS.
Last week was rough. This week is better. Next week is technically our Spring Break but I’m still going to try to keep the kids on some activity/enrichment schedule.
OH. And before YOU start to shame spiral let me clarify: Of the 12-14 hours they’re awake our busiest schedule has separated 3 hours of “enrichment” time. SO IT IS NOT LIKE WE’RE WRITING DISSERTATIONS OVER HERE PEOPLE.
And yesterday we had ZERO HOURS.
Anyway…that is life in the Zoot House. How are you guys doing?