On Mental Health


I have been considering getting tested for ADHD. It’s something I’ve been thinking about off-and-on for several years. I had a therapist suggest it one time at my evaluation, but I was new as her patient and didn’t like her (this is the girl that kept referencing religion and the bible even when I told her I was not a believer) and so I blew it off because I didn’t want any follow-ups with her at all.

I honestly don’t even remember what it was that made her suggest it, but it put the seed in my brain and I have thought about it periodically since. Lately, though, I’ve been thinking about it more and more. The first increase in consideration was after recognizing Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria in myself and realizing the connection it has to ADHD in children. The second was reading about Amalah’s diagnosis and her commentary about how dumb she felt never having been diagnosed before.

I am thinking I should revisit this suggestion from the Religious Therapist Who Should Not Be Named.

I’ve been paying closer and closer attention to how I get distracted lately in case I decide to get tested (we have a high deductible insurance plan right now so you have to really want this kind of testing which SUCKS) I want to be able to explain exactly what my distraction looks like. I don’t do that thing where I forget why I entered a room. No, I complete change paths/tasks without even thinking about it and I won’t realize it for several steps later. This was me yesterday afternoon:

  1. Sit down to watch Locke & Key on Netflix. Approx 10am.
  2. Start watching the autoplay trailer for Love is Blind
  3. Get so mad by the dumb trailer I close out Netflix, forgetting I was going to watch Lock and Key.
  4. Realize this is hilarious and decide to tweet about it.
  5. Open twitter and see notifications of “likes” of my tweet about the last blog post which features an awkward picture of me holding E.
  6. Decide to go see if I can find any pictures of me holding N and W that show I got better at holding babies
  7. Notice that my Google Photos seems to have not enough photos from 2008
  8. Get out my external hard drive to see if there’s any pictures missing on Google Photos
  9. Realizing I’m missing a cord and end up just cleaning out my whole desk drawer looking for it.
  10. This reminds me I needed to reorganize a drawer in my bathroom.
  11. Run to TJMaxx to get drawers for under the sink in my bathroom.
  12. Get back home, reorganize the entire bathroom storage situation.
  13. Decide I need a reward in some TV time. Open up Netflix to watch Locke & Key and then it hits me…Wait. Didn’t I sit down to do this a few hours ago? It was approximately 12:30pm.

See? It’s not like I don’t complete some tasks, I am very good at completing tasks! Just not always the one I initially set up to complete. And I don’t even consciously make the decision: I’m not going to do that first thing, I’m going to do the second thing instead. Nope. I just end up completely switching roads without ever even noticing the turn. And this is the part I find really frustrating. Because a lot of time I need to be doing the first thing. I mean, not in the case of watching a TV show, but something that first thing I end up leaving behind was important and then I have forgotten all together.

I forget A LOT OF STUFF, y’all. And for someone who is really organized and has reminders set and to-do lists and alarms and everything…I do everything I can to help myself remember things. BUT I STILL FORGET THINGS CONSTANTLY. And a lot of it can be mapped out with these type of mental wanderings where I have the thing in my head and then I’m not longer thinking about it and I didn’t even consciously decide to do that.

So I’m wondering if ADHD is one of my challenges, maybe there’s something that can help? Maybe I’m just feeling a bit of hope with how Amalah’s diagnosis and the ensuing prescription has helped her so much, and maybe I want a little bit of that?

I don’t know. I should at least call to find out how much it will cost! I hate to be like that (making health decisions based on money) but this new surgery for W has already taken $3000 out of our savings (Bonus! He now has met his deductible!), it’s not like we’ve got a bunch more just sitting around waiting for my ADHD testing. But maybe it’s not as much as allergy testing?

Anyone have any experience with ADHD testing?

9 thoughts on “Distractions.”

  1. I was diagnosed with ADD (without the hyperactive component) when I was 10. I still take medication for it now at age 35. I’m not sure if it costs anymore than a regular office visit, but usually starting with your PCP is the way to go.

  2. I was diagnosed with ADHD in 2012 at the same time I recieved my asperger’s diagnosis. The total cost was $150. This also included an IQ test. I was lucky because I did this through the university I was attending at the time, which made the cost much cheaper. The psychology department provided graduate students an opportunity to conduct testing, which was video recorded, then evaluated by a licensed psychologist for diagnosis. I grew up without recieving any psychological evaluations, diagnoses, counseling, IEPs, interventions, or accommodations. As a high school sophomore, I had done enough research to determine that my symptoms warranted ADHD medication, and I asked my pediatrician to prescribe me medication, which she did, though I didn’t have the means to get a diagnosis until college. Later, I discovered that C-PTSD has overlapping symptoms with ADHD, and I’ve since questioned the validity of the diagnosis. But, I’m not a doctor, so for now I’ll accept it as is 🙂

  3. I don’t have any experience with the testing, though I have wondered if I have ADD myself and took the quiz after Amalah posted about it. But I’m here to tell you that Netflix just recently added a setting that allows you to turn off the auto previews. They used to make me so irritated, and now that irritation is gone. Small improvements, ya know? I know this wasn’t the point of your post, but I wanted to help get the info out there for anyone who wants it. ; )

  4. My son was diagnosed with ADHD last year. They had his teachers fill out a survey and had us fill out a survey and his pediatrician went over it and met with us and him and said, yep, he’s got ADHD all right. She prescribed him medicine. We didn’t have to see a psychologist or psychiatrist, but we do have to follow up with her quarterly.

    The medication (Vyvanse) is really, really expensive, but that might just be my crappy insurance. But hey, in two more months we’ll have hit his deductible for the year on this one prescription alone, so the cost will go down.

    We agonized about going the medication route, but it really does help him a lot.

  5. Please don’t take this to heart/wrong, etc. But I have wondered, from reading your stories, if you have ADHD. I think it would be worth it for you to get tested. That said, if you DO get tested, go to the best psychiatrist you can find in your area, not the cheapest, and not just your primary caregiver. You don’t have to continue with that doctor once you have the diagnosis…but for your evaluation, go to the BEST doctor so you can be sure your diagnosis is correct. Symptoms of ADHD can mean other things, besides ADHD. Or, they can just be life being too fractured and hectic, but not actually a brain chemistry issue. There is so much misdiagnosis for ADHD (especially in children), you don’t want to be part of that statistic. When we got our son tested we went to the best psychiatrist in our area, and yes, it was expensive. But it was well worth it. And the difference between this kid ON medication and OFF medication is like a light being switched. It literally changed his life…ALL of our lives (so I don’t want to hear about how kids shouldn’t take medication, please!) As a matter of fact, right now he is on a school trip to NYC with his choir…something there is not a chance he could have done before unless I went too. Anyway, good luck! I say you should go for it! PS: Good job organizing your bathroom! 😉

  6. I was diagnosed with ADD a few years ago and your list sound exactly like what I was struggling with. It wasn’t a huge deal in my personal life but it really started affecting my work life, so much that I was afraid that I was going to get fired. I didn’t make an appointment with my PCP for this specific issue but I brought up my concerns while I was in for a check-up. And I didn’t bring it up like “Hey, I’ve been looking online and I think I have ADD.” I just told her what was going on and she went through a series of questions and gave me a diagnosis. I literally started crying when she told me because I thought I was going crazy or getting senile! We’ve tried a few different medication/doses and once we discovered the right one, I finally feel like my brain is normal. It calms the “chatter” in my mind and helps me focus enough to get shit done. It’s not perfect, but it’s waaaaaaay better than it was!

  7. Just to add to your pile of information:
    *talked to my psychologist about depression meds and got them from PCP, didn’t work
    *Psychologist referred me to a psychiatrist (have not idea if he was “good” or not)
    *met with him once, talked, he said “I think you have adult ADHD”
    *I said ” how can I have ADD or ADHD, I get a TON OF SHIT done and am productive”
    *he said “try this medicine” and it helped much better than depression meds
    *a year later my stomach really started bothering me and when I stopped the medicine it went away and I have coped without it since
    So….ask around (I know…not your favorite gig…) might not be as much as you think…

  8. also….not sure if your anxiety makes it difficult to talk to or explain things to Dr’s but I was thinking you just need to print this post and have them read it.

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