On 44.

I turned 44 on Sunday.

Birthdays have never bothered me. While I’ve struggled my whole life with body image issues, aging is never something that has bothered me. I think it’s because my “prime” years from 18-24 were filled with anxiety over being a young mother, a marriage…a divorce, college and working and having no money and accruing lots of debt and…well, let’s just say every birthday I celebrate past those “prime” years is a good one. I love the confidence and the peace that has come with aging, and thankfully the brainwashing from the cosmetic industry has not gotten me worked up about sagging skin or wrinkles. I get bothered by the bags under my eyes, but that’s more about exhaustion than about aging.

All in all? I celebrate every wrinkle and every extra candle. Every year I age is one percent less I care what the world thinks of me and that is the best gift I could receive.

The other best gift that I’ve given myself is learning to love this plump and curvy and body and wrinkly and sagging face. Every day I get better at seeing photos of myself and celebrating the blessings in the wrinkles and the joy in the curves and the love in the sagging skin. The negative voices are still back there but I continue to drown them out by showering myself with love and compliments in the same way I do the other women I love in my life.

And there’s no convincing necessary to love that amazing head of hair. I’m telling you, the combination of Not Your Mother’s Curl Talk with application using the “praying hands” method (so you don’t separate the girls by combing it through with the fingers) has given my curls amazing life and definition and THAT IS SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE EVERY DAY.

I’ve had to make some quick trips to Tennessee for various reasons last week and this week if you’re wondering why my posting has been sporadic. I miss my routine of morning blogging but it is what it is and I’m taking the opportunity to celebrate seeing people I love even if a lot of the causes for travel is heartbreaking. Nyoka has decided to join me for some of it which is lovely as she’s 13 and at some point in time, staying home being bored will be more fun than road trips with me. Until then, I’m savoring it as much as possible!

7 thoughts on “On 44.”

  1. Oh happy birthday! I’m glad you have some silver linings in your travel.

  2. Happy, Happy Birthday!

    I wanted to say that your hair is fabulous!!

  3. I love this. My 26th birthday this weekend was marked by some of the same thing. A little more peace, a little more confidence, and maybe 1 percent less guilt, shame, and worry over how everyone else feels about me. Also – these pictures are beautiful. When I’m 44, I’ll be lucky to have made this much progress on my own journey 🙂

  4. Happy birthday!

    I too am firmly in the age range of “Every year I age is one percent less I care what the world thinks of me” and it’s marvelous.

  5. Looking, smiling, thinking just fine from where I am sitting. Happy Birthday!

    (Wrinkles? Sags? Pffft. I don’t know what mirror YOU are using, but I don’t see any…)

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