I woke up this morning and did a few sun salutations in my bathroom and then I did some hip circles in front of the full-length mirror in my daughters room while my coffee was brewing. While drinking my first cup of coffee, I journaled before even looking at a single screen, taking time to remind myself I am deserving of light and love.
KIM MUST HAVE GONE TO A WOMEN’S EMPOWERMENT WORKSHOP THIS WEEKEND!
I have pages of notes and takeaways and ideas for new things to put into practice to help me manage the chaos and reach my goals and become the best me I know I can be. It was worthwhile and energizing and a lot of what I needed in my life right now.
All of that said – about 20% of the class just was not perfectly me. That is fine, of course, no self-help book/class/seminar fits anyone perfectly. I have a spiritual connection to the world around me but my “higher power” is less a power I can turn to for help and guidance, and more of a belief in the power of love and kindness to add light to the darkness. The atheist in me spent the time when there was conversations about your higher power journaling about how that fits into my worldview. I found good takeaways even in those moments, just not the exact ones the workshop was giving.
There also wasn’t any concretely defined room for mental health disorders that require medicinal or counseling treatment. Not that anyone was like, “You do not need meds or therapy!” but there was small reference to finding the power to get off of them and y’all know me – I always need to grab a bullhorn and show: SOMETIMES YOUR BRAIN MISFIRES AND THE ONLY THING THAT WILL HELP IS MEDICINE AND THAT IS OKAY! NO ONE TELLS THE DIABETIC TO MEDITATE ON THEIR INSULIN LEVELS…IF YOU NEED MEDICINE TO MANAGE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH YOU ARE A HERO FOR EVEN REACHING OUT IN THE FIRST PLACE!
But, most of the class suited me perfectly. Especially when the conversation was more about shifting thoughts to love-based instead of fear-based, and shifting perspectives to focus on abundances instead of what we might be lacking…THAT WAS ALL HITTING HOME FOR ME!
I am 100% glad I went and I really am looking forward to putting in the work to try to shift my focus on thoughts of self-love and reflection and try to spend more time even deciding what I want in my life and how I can find my purpose. I mean, it’s not too late to suddenly find your purpose at 43 is it?
The class was A LOT and was OVERWHELMING but I spent some time last night isolating a few of the things I want to focus on this week. I want to find a way to give myself a “sacred space” somewhere in/around my home. I might play around with it outside under our patio since trying to do it inside might require new furniture, or at least digging old furniture out of the storage platform in our garage. I’m not exactly sure yet…but I do want to set up SOMETHING this week that is a space around me that reminds me to take some time to light a candle and reflect or journal or meditate or something to help me FOCUS because my mind has just been all over the place lately and the ups and downs are giving me whiplash.
The other thing I’m focusing on this week is creating a new morning routine. I don’t HATE my morning routine, I like coffee and blogging and it’s better than immediately turning to social media before I even get out of bed. But, I would like to start the day with a little more reflection because sometimes I feel like I wake up scattered and unfocused and my anxieties take over from there because I don’t ever reign them in. I really want to try to set up some time in my morning that replaces what daily mass used to be when I was a practicing Catholic. I loved knowing I could just go to mass in the morning if I needed guidance or focus. (That’s the good thing about Catholicism, there’s always mass somewhere when you need it.) I’d like to build a morning routine that incorporates some inner-dialog and work so that I focus on ME before I get into the chaos of the day when I start to focus on EVERYONE ELSE BUT ME.
ME FIRST, DAMMIT!
(*makes note in her journal to make that a mantra*)
I feel good, I got everything out of the workshop that I wanted and even did some growing while listening to other women talk about their struggles. While there were parts that were not for me and other parts I maybe would have liked included…it was well worth the time and the money and I know this is all going to take some real work, but I’m hoping to harness a new kind of spiritual energy to help me focus on better my life and the world around me.