FOCUS.

When my anxiety escalates, my ability to focus deteriorates. It’s like all of the energy my brain uses to keep me focused gets sucked into my anxiety attacks and then I start to get more anxious because OH MY GOD, I CAN NOT KEEP FOCUS.

I do believe, sometimes, it’s a defensive reaction. I think part of my brain is trying to keep me from focusing on what’s making me anxious, but to do that my brain says, “Let’s just not focus on ANYTHING because we’re not exactly sure what’s making her anxious.” And honestly? I’m kinda okay with that.

But this week I was anxious about Sweetie and work and I’ve been working on mending some relationships that have been burdening my heart and my anxiety has just been beyond manageable. On Tuesday, Nikki – my empath – left a note in my bag and in it, she gave me a little charm that says “Good Luck” on it that she said got her into her magnet program so maybe it would help me. And while “luck” was not really what I needed, I did feel soothed by the love of the gesture from her and found myself holding it as a sort of calming mechanism to remind me that nothing that I was stressing about was as important as the love my daughter had for me, and that was enough.

But oddly? Having it nearby to touch and hold? Kept me super focused all day. I would find myself panicking about something work related and I just grabbed that little lady bug off my desk and held it in my hand and it would help me focus, keep me from spiraling. IT WAS FASCINATING. I ended up just keeping it in my hand all the time, unless I needed two hands to type, and I held it during a stressful meeting and it just gave me so much focus it was WEIRD. When I had a face-to-face with a loved one when I had ONE mission (to explain my love), I held it to keep me from getting so emotional that I would lose track of my mission. I would feel myself getting “off topic” and would rub that charm and it reminded me: DO NOT FORGET WHY YOU ARE HERE. IT’S ABOUT LOVE AND NOTHING ELSE.

I told my therapist about it and gave it to her to see and she told me she could feel the energy coming off of it, which may be silly, but I kinda understood what she meant.

Anyway – I need to give my daughter her Good Luck charm back because she needs it too. But how do I create that same effect in something of my own? I found worry stones on Etsy and I thought about trying one of those, but is part of the power the energy behind the charm as it came from someone who loved me?

Have any of you ever had luck with tools like this? I’m fascinated by how well it worked in my own life but I’m not sure if anything else would fit the bill but something give with such pure intentions.

7 thoughts on “FOCUS.”

  1. I understand the problem & empathize! I haven’t tried anything like it but I’d like to know what you find. I have the same problem. Over the last almost 2 years I’ve been dealing with an impossible person at work and my anxiety about what he’ll do next destroys my ability to focus on what I need to be doing!

  2. I don’t know if it would work as well, but why don’t you ask Nikki to help you pick something out? Something that makes her think of you and is selected with love might help too.

  3. Ask Nikki if she needs it back or if she meant for you to keep it. I think it helps you so much because she gave it to. Maybe a special charm from you would help her.Then you would each have a calming charm from each other.
    My church is big on handing out rocks. They are reminders of Gods Grace, or love, or our strength. They aren’t internet rocks, but come from the landscaping store or the feed mill. I find them reassuring.

  4. I am excited and fascinated by how the charm worked for you. If she needs it back, maybe you already have an item that has the same kind of energy in it: another gift from a loved one, something you even gave yourself as an expression of the love and confidence you have in yourself.

  5. I have a metal necklace that looks like a Stargate that my husband gave me a few years ago for Christmas. (Stargate SG1 is one of my all time favorite shows.) It’s just one of those things I love and when I wear it I feel a little confidence boost. Sometimes I rub my fingers on it as if it’s a worry stone. The best part is when someone recognizes for what it really is and not just a little circle pendant. It helps me find other geeks and that always makes me feel better!

  6. I came here to say this SAME THING. I would definitely involve someone you love, especially Nikki, in picking out something for you. And if you want, maybe even do something to strengthen it, such as some sort of ceremony, or asking her to hold it or carry it for a few days, etc.

  7. If you are open to it you could look around the web for items that have had Reiki done on them. You might find them calming.

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