A Stream of Consciousness Entry That Would Impress Faulkner.

Y’all. Coffee is magic.

I’m certain the way I make my coffee that there’s not a whole lot of caffeine in each cup, yet the first few sips will just clear my sleepy head in a way that makes me think: Okay. Okay. I can do this.

I made a fatal error last night and took my first dose of my new medicine right before bed like my doctor told me to do (“It can sometimes make you drowsy.”) but I also took my Melatonin too without thinking about the two together. All I was thinking was that I needed some sleep and Melatonin helps sleep overpower the voices in my head trying to keep me awake.


Every time Sweetie needed to go out in the middle of the night I woke up dizzy and foggy and when it was time to get up this morning I thought, “Nope. Not happening. I can’t leave the couch ever again. I’m too tired.”


I still don’t feel great in terms of nausea, but the coffee is at least making me feel like I could maybe function like a normal human today.

So, learn from me: Do not combine 2mg of Abilify with Melatonin before bed. DOES NOT MAKE FOR A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP.

Speaking of my Abilify, here’s a funny story. I got 30 days worth of 2mg pills (those pills are SO SMALL) to try to supplement my Lexapro. My Lexapro costs me like $11 because there’s a generic and my insurance helps out. Abilify? $80! I googled how much it costs without insurance and do you know? $800! Holy shitake mushrooms, y’all! I kinda hope this doesn’t help because this shit is EXPENSIVE.

I’ll report back, of course. Like always.

Anyone else really sick of me talking about my mental health? Here’s the thing: There’s a lot more shit going on in my life right now but not really bloggable stuff, you know? If you want to go to get coffee with me I wouldn’t talk so much about my mental health, but when it comes to things on my mind I can push for the world to read? This is the story that is ALL MINE so I can do whatever I want with it.

Oh! You know what else is all mine? MY TATTOO!

DUDE. I just got so distracted just then. I was trying to figure out how to take a good picture of my tattoo to show you guys because the sun’s not even up yet and neither are any humans capable of photographing me and then I started thinking Wait, did I already put pictures of my blog of my final tattoo? so I went to search my blog and I got distracted by the news of the explosion on the London Tube that caught my eye and then I started thinking about how everyone in the photos looked so well dressed and then I thought about how rarely I look well dressed and then I remembered I BOUGHT A BLOUSE AT CVS LAST NIGHT and for some reason that cracks me up and says a lot about my personal style and then I thought Wait…what was I doing?

So, since I can’t figure out how to get a good picture of my tattoo to show you guys (My tattoo artist posted one on her instagram here if you want to see a full shot) here’s a selfie showing PART of my tattoo and PART of my CVS blouse. Also – my face is red because I just got out of the shower and I NEEDED A HOT SHOWER TO BATTLE THE FOG TODAY, Y’ALL.

Yep. This entry seems ready to publish. I should title this “Exhibit A: Zoot Does Not Function Well Without Sleep.”

9 thoughts on “A Stream of Consciousness Entry That Would Impress Faulkner.”

  1. Yup, I got distracted by the news of the London tube bomb too. Possibly you knew before I did and I live in the city, as I’ve been weening myself off news, as you know anxiety but then I sneaked a peak during lunch & had a nasty shock. So glad I don’t work in W. london any more, sigh but glad no one hurt. It get wearing on the nerves to be aware each time you get on the tube an incident may happen but then I think of others who are house bound, running low on food and supplies & bombed daily their cities in ruins. Sigh peace for all of us one day, may all the children of the world one day be free to love & play and grow up without fear. Xx

    P.s. Loved your post yesterday on platitudes.

  2. I loved everything about this entry. (Well, not the trouble sleeping part.) Also, I totally relate to buying a shirt at CVS because I have this really cute pair of shoes that I bought at WALGREENS of all places, and they are even cuter because I got them on clearance for only $2. TWO. DOLLARS. I think they might even look good with that awesome CVS shirt you have on.

  3. Yeah, I think that’s why I stopped blogging. Nothing was bloggable. I can’t even blog my mental health stuff, although maybe some day… At any rate, I am EONS ahead of where I used to be.

    Expensive prescriptions make me pissy. I believe medication should be affordable. Thankfully, my prescription costs are fairly low (nearly $0). Of the 4 prescriptions I have, only one costs me anything (because there is no generic), and even it is only $20 for 3 months’ worth.

    I loved your distraction story, though. I find myself going into a room to do something and then stopping to do something else; then I have to think about what the original reason was for entering that room in the first place. Yesterday, I was working on stuff for the Harry Potter baby shower (!!!!!!) we’re throwing for my daughter tomorrow, and I kept hopping between the paper bunting I was assembling and the golden snitches I was making (Ferrero Rocher with wings). I finally completed both of them (actually, didn’t finish the bunting until this morning).

  4. cute blouse. So how many of us are headed to CVS to shop for clothing. The independent drug store in Ardmore has some very cute clothes, almost all in a cute hippie style.
    Talk all you want about your mental health. It makes many of us feel more normal

  5. The tattoo looks great! And I’m sorry for your bad night of sleep, but glad that coffee helps. (I like coffee, but it doesn’t have the boost effect on me.)

  6. Your top is way cute. Tats nice too. Keep preaching on the mental health because it’s an important topic that needs to be addressed. It’s taken me years to not be ashamed of my mental illness. We need to normalize it like diabetes or cancer. Nobody is ashamed of those diseases and nobody needs to be ashamed of their mental illness. Now, I’m going to cvs to look for cute clothes.

  7. Your tattoo is gorgeous! Apparently, I’m behind on your posts, I did a 15k last night and read your salad post right beforehand. When I went to comment, the comments were closed. I was thinking about salads for my first 2 miles. Thank you! I’m awake due to allergy medicine. Right now, I have big plans for today, but I’ll probably crash at 9 a.m.

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