One of my super-powers has always been to wake up without an alarm, often times before 4am. This was usually true no matter when I went to bed, although I would set a backup alarm if I had a REALLY late night and needed to get up early. I also rarely struggled to fall asleep at night, tending more often to struggle sleeping until a normal hour.
A lot of that has changed in the last year. I don’t sleep as well any more, I toss and turn a lot. I don’t fall asleep as easily and many nights rely on melatonin. And I use an alarm many days now. As a matter of fact, I probably use it more often than not, anymore.
This has been a battle with my pride because I don’t like using an alarm and so many mornings the last few weeks I’ve tried to get up for a run and failed because I didn’t wake up in time. I was struggling with having to set an alarm (although it’s pretty normal since I was wanting to wake before 4am) so I just kept “oversleeping” until the late hour of 5:30am.
This morning? I sent an alarm. I set it for 3:30am with the intent to start my run at 4:30am. It’s not 4:36 and I’m not out the door yet, but that’s because I hit snooze…TWICE. Yes, not only am I using an alarm but I’m also hitting SNOOZE. Something I have probably done more in the last few months than I’ve done in the entirety of my life up until the last few months.
I know it’s just all part of life, and that I’m still able to wake up by 6am on my own, sans alarm. And to many that’s still a super power. I shouldn’t be too hard on myself, but it’s difficult to get used to waking to an alarm (although mine is a lovely sound) when you just woke up on your own for so long before.
I’m also going to run in the dark this morning which I hate doing, but I’m trying to cram in as many miles this week as possible and there’s not a lot of room since it’s the first week back to school and I have huge work responsibilities this week.
So I’m an alarm girl now, on early-run days. I’m struggling to accept this.
Luckily, I still have the amazing napping super-power. I can still nap anywhere (as long as it’s not too hot) and any time. I’ll continue to enjoy that magical gift even if my morning wakeup one is gone!