Programming Note: I’m very self conscious about constantly referencing therapy, not wanting to be that person who talks about therapy all the time. So from here on out, please assume any wise conclusion I come to I did not come to on my own.
I’ve got a lot on my plate right now and about 2 weeks ago I started realizing I need to remove some of it. We’ve all been there, right? And it’s a terrible place to be because inevitably, you’re letting someone down.
I examined my “To Do” lists that I was never completing and found very little I could really let go of as there’s a certain level of obligation you kinda have to accept due to commitments made. I did have to turn down freelance work for someone I really like working for, but other than that? There was really nothing I could remove. The truth of the matter is, until this house sells? I just have TOO MUCH on my plate.
So, after turning down the freelance job, I opted to maybe lighten the level of “clean” (although it was already pretty light) I was trying to keep my house and just telling the universe, “If someone won’t buy my house because there’s dust on those shelves in that room I never go to, then so be it.”
And then it was time to approach my obligations differently so maybe they wouldn’t stress me out so much. I did three things.
1) I stopped wearing my watch. I found myself constantly analyzing how much time I had left either because I was trying to finish something on time (cleaning my house before the showing) or because I was frustrated I couldn’t get to something (when errands are taking too long) in time. I also was hyper-aware of how little sleep I was getting, something that has gotten even worse with allergy season. SO? Now I have to deliberately decide to look at the time either on my phone, clock, or computer. Which makes time a little less of a source of anxiety.
2) I stopped dating my To Do lists. Normally daily pages in my bullet journal have pretty banners at the top with the date on them. But that kinda makes me feel really shitty when I can’t get stuff done on the day I assigned the task. Now? It just a general TO DO list that I add to until it’s time to start a new page. I don’t stare at the un-checked items under YESTERDAY’S page and feel guilt.
3)I made a To Joy list that I stare at all day. I like to keep my bullet journal open on my desk so I can write things down in it throughout my day. But that means I’m staring at my To Do list and a lot of the things I can’t do from work. So, now? I have a To Joy list with things that have INTRINSIC value and THAT is the list and THOSE are the items I stare at all day. I check in on the “To Do” list occasionally of course, practically it’s necessary. BUT – I’m not staring at it all day as it looms over my subconscious.
I’m hoping these things help with my anxiety level which, HOPEFULLY, will help with my stress eating. It didn’t work yesterday, for the record. BUT THERE IS ALWAYS TODAY!
We’ve had 5 showings in one month (compared to 3 showings in 6 months the last time we tried to sell) on our house but everyone hates all the stairs leading to the front door. We have another showing this morning. Let’s hope these people like squats.