About Me, On Mental Health

Girl Power

We all have things.

Yes. I know. I’m very profound.

You know what I mean…like my things are: Not Taking Left Turns, Not Using Shampoo, Highly Protective Of My Pens.

They’re the things we tend to spotlight that make us interesting, or quirky, or unique in some way.

We can probably all list cycles of things we went though, especially during our tween/young adult years where having cool things was kind of a necessity. I was The Girl Who Sneezed Loudly and The Girl Who Could Turn Her Feet Backwards. I also went through several fashion phases that could qualify as things: Deadhead, Girl Who Wore Fishnets and Combat Boots, Undercut Girl etc.

One of my things I fell back on a lot – and as far back as second grade – was Girl Who Prefers Guy Friends Over Girl Friends.

Now…let me state for a fact…This Was Never Actually True. It was just a thing I thought made me interesting at certain moments and it certain circles so I would proclaim it like it was true. In second grade I actually fought with my friend Ashley over who was more of a Tomboy and she said she was because I collected stickers and that was NOT a Tomboy thing to do. But I remember us listing off all of our “boy friends” we had because “girls are stupid” or something like that.

And from that point on, when talking to boys, I would often proclaim my distaste for most girls and that I preferred to be friends with boys.

Again: THIS WAS NOT TRUE. I just thought it made me interesting to boys so I wanted it to be true.

NOW…I will say, in general I usually felt more comfortable around boys. I knew a lot about college football and Stephen King and Dean Koontz and I was raised by my Dad and I had a brother and I grew up hiking and camping so at certain points and in certain circles I would have more in common with the boys than with the girls. I tended to be really intimidated by girls and not as much by boys. BUT – I always had friends who were girls, I just didn’t like admitting it, I guess? I don’t know. It was just a thing I felt made me interesting off and on from ages 7 to – well – probably 20ish? I do know even after I split from my first husband I tried to seem cool in a few circles with the whole, “Ew…girls…” schtick and I was 23’ish then. I’m so embarrassed for my past self. GET OVER YOURSELF, KIM FROM THE LATE NINETIES.

quote-female-friendships_17324-7But lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the women in my life and how freaking lucky I am to have such and expansive tribe that inspires me in so many ways. I’ve always been blessed with at least one or two strong female friends at certain points in my life, but since 2009 when I really started facing my social anxieties head on and putting myself out in the world…I realize I’ve built myself an arsenal of amazing women that I could call upon for advice or counsel at a moment’s notice.

I don’t know why I was so hesitant to admit female friends are awesome. The few I ever had were always amazing, but I guess it seemed so mundane, or cliche or something. I WANTED TO BE QUIRKY. All of the rom-coms had quirky girls who only had guy friends, RIGHT?

But man, I’m really glad I’ve grown out of being weirdly adverse to admitting my dependency on my female friends. I was struggling with something personally female recently and thought about kinda vocalizing it and it wasn’t: I wish I had someone I could talk to about this…. Instead it was: Which of my amazing female friends should I text? I had so many I could turn to! I ended up just waiting it out but still…it made me realize how lucky I am and how proud I am of finally letting go of trying to be the special little flower who gets along with boys better than girls and just owning the glory of the female friendship and counting my blessings for having so many in my life.

1 thought on “Girl Power”

  1. I missed this post the other day.

    I too, have been “that girl”.
    The one that hangs around boys/men because less drama. I told myself I didn’t need any girlfriends, I had guy friends, and what’s the difference anyway!

    Until I met some women I wanted to cultivate relationships with. And once I did, amazing things started happening, and I realized that we need to have other strong, capable women in our lives, for when we, ourselves, can’t be strong and capable.

    I still don’t like most things most women do, shopping, makeup, hair stuff, girly stuff in general, but having strong women by my (frumpy) side, has made all the difference these last few years!

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