Forgive me Father for I have sinned. It has been at least 20 years since my last confession…
I am constantly on some variation of the “BE NICE!” soapbox. I’ve been known to call people out for posting pictures of strangers on Facebook and making fun of them. I write statuses talking about supporting political candidates instead of bashing. I write entire blog entries about empathy and how making fun of something other people love can be really hurtful.
But y’all? I AM NOT PERFECT.
Case and point:
Our local track club has a kinda terrible website. I’ve spent YEARS making fun of it and getting all self-righteous about how EASY it would be to just create a new one. Then at a meeting once it was announced there WAS a new one and how it just wasn’t ready yet to be launched. So then I changed my self-righteous snark to making fun of THAT delay, “Anything is better than what’s there!” and I would try to be funny but also super-critical of the fact it hadn’t been launched yet.
BUT THEN I GOT ELECTED TO THE POSITION IN CHARGE.
And I haven’t slept well sense. Partly because I feel terrible for all of the snark I dished out when I see how much the people involved work every day on the club. How could they have time to approve the final website when the day-to-day activities take several hours a day and they all have full-time jobs? Why was I so judgemental towards people who sweat blood over this club? I HATE MYSELF.
But also? Y’all? I’m busy as shit just keeping the old website updated. We run 23 (I think that’s the official tally) races through the club but we list all others on our calendar and we share out results. Every weekend there has been AT LEAST one race to load results for. And sometimes they find errors so I have to reload them. Then there are the “please add this race to your calendar” emails of which I have FIVE right now in my inbox. Then there’s the new races that need pages and printable entry forms and there’s updates and changes on old races that need to be made and I’ve been using my morning time as my HTC time and it is NOT ENOUGH. I woke up at 2:30am yesterday to try to get caught up.
And all of this goes on while they’re waiting on me to proof the new website since I’m going to be the one kinda maintaining it once it goes live.
Not to mention we have to evaluate different tools and because of the turnover of the volunteers we have to consider flexibility and there’s a lot of tools out there that do what we need but there are pros and cons we have to weigh and none of us have time because we all have full-time jobs and families and the daily responsibilities for this club take over the “future” obligations so it just keeps getting put off and…
I AM SO SORRY TO EVERYONE WHO HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS.
I will say that I spent some time last night going through the new site but you know what I had to do? Skip my kid’s basketball practice which is not a HUGE deal except he likes me being there. I had to do it then because I’m using my 1-hour HTC time every morning filling the daily needs and answering emails and making edits in the HTML to the current site. The only thing that motivated me last night was knowing most of my work will go faster on the new site so I need to get it approved and launched ASAP. But it’s really hard when you LITERALLY have no free time.
So I’m sorry for snarking and making fun of something for years that people behind the scenes were stressing over on top of all of the volunteer work they do for the organization. I’m sorry for making it sound easy. IT IS NOT. I’m sorry for not realizing how many emails a day the people involved have to field or how many tasks they have to complete JUST to keep everything rolling forward.
This is what I get for no listening to my own words. Jeezus, Kim. BE NICE FOR CHRISSAKES.
(I feel better now. My soul has been cleansed. Thank you.)