I find that – in order to stay on track with fitness and food – I need just enough to do to keep me busy and not bored; but not too much to do to make me eat instead of do stuff. Because that is one of my fatal flaws – when I’m overwhelmed by all there is to do? I don’t do anything. Instead? I go to Target and buy 3 donuts and eat them all in one sitting.
I did that Monday.
Now that we’re gearing back up into some House Prep mode and I’ve also got Holiday Stress I find my To Do list has gotten Too Long and now I’m eating excess crap as a method of shrinking it.
It’s not working.
I entered the 5lb “Race Day Weight” range I’ve been striving for on Monday, and then I proceeded to eat no less than 3,500 calories every day since so I’m now very much OUT of that range. Luckily, my race is not for another 3 weeks (THREE WEEKS? HOLY SHITAKE MUSHROOMS.) so I have time to get back to that zone, but DAMN, KIM. WAY TO CELEBRATE A WEIGHTLOSS GOAL.
I think after my Dad died part of my weight gain was sadness but part of it was not having enough to keep me busy. I wasn’t working, my kids weren’t that needy, no extracurriculars yet and E hadn’t started high school when his extracurriculars picked up. We hadn’t bought our new house so we weren’t moving and I hadn’t discovered fitness. So, I just ate a lot to cure my sadness and my boredom.
But then last year I find I was eating because I had TOO MUCH TO DO as we started trying to sell the house. Hence the 15lbs above the Race Day Weight Zone that I started this season at. When I first started training this year we had taken the house off the market temporarily so my To Do list dropped so it was the perfect amount of stuff to do. Enough to keep me busy but not overwhelm me. But now Donnie is working tons of overtime (He put in 14 hours at the office yesterday) so I’m doing house prep and holiday prep all by myself on top of regular chaos and now I’m EATING ALL OF THE FOODS instead of conquering that To Do list.
Which is counterproductive on SO MANY MANY LEVELS.
I backed out of one obligation this weekend which I feel terrible about but I need to get my shit back in line. I need to find that balance again. I need to recognize that I have a lot of balls in the air and the one I keep dropping is my health and when that one drops, my mood drops substantially and then I just stop juggling all together.
SO. When I set up my Daily Planner page today, as I write down “To Do” items, I’m going to make sure none of them are things I can get rid of. And then, instead of eating when I’m feeling overwhelmed, I’m going to try to actually DO those things on the list which I’ve not been doing this week because eating donuts seems more fulfilling in that moment.