So it seems there was a malfunction on my blog and I couldn’t get into the backend and when I did on my laptop the last entry I wrote was open and when I try to close it out, I got a browser warning to see if I wanted to “save my changes” and I clicked “yes” thinking I was looking at the last edit but it turns out there was like, one sentence so I basically overwrote everything and I could go back and republish as past revision BUT I HAVE TO GO TO WORK. And I don’t have time to check the past revisions to see which one was right and I don’t want to use the emailed one because I actually made some edits after that one so instead – you get this quick replacement!
The point of the post was: What is your policy on what your kid can read? Are they allowed to read anything in your home?
I AM SUCH AN IDIOT.
This is a great question and I’m curious to see what others say. Our daughter is 8 and she loves to read. She plowed through all seven Harry Potter books and loved them…and the more “adult” themes in the HP books never really gave me any pause. We just made ourselves available to discuss things if she wanted to talk about what she had read. Now she’s reading the “Kingdom Keepers” series, and it seems pretty tame. But we are taking her to see the musical Wicked this November, and I thought she might want to read the books first, but then I looked at the descriptions of the books and I was like, “Oh…bestiality and sexual deviance? Yikes!” And I decided that I wasn’t ready to let her read them yet, but now I’m wondering if that is the right thing to do.
She also really wanted to read the Paper Towns book when she saw the trailer for the movie. I told her that it was a bit too adult for her (I’m thinking of the discussions of sex with Margot’s boyfriend and the roundabout wonderings about whether Margot committed suicide) and again, I don’t know if that’s the right decision!
I think everything posted just fine, actually. Or at least I read a fully formed and coherent blog post from my email earlier this morning about your Open Book Policy. Which I support in theory but I don’t know how I’ll handle it when my 5 month old starts reading. Like how I support using the anatomically / scientifically correct words for body parts,
But how will I really feel about saying testicals and peals of thunder instead of balls and
Whoops – somehow posted while I tried to look up the correct spelling of “testicles” – I knew it didn’t look right!
Anyway – testicles and peals of thunder vs. balls and thunder boomers.
Bad analogy? Perhaps.
We want to keep our kids as kids and it’s hard to take the plunge and acknowledge that they need to step into mature things – whether vocab or book themes – at some point and the first time for it is scary/panic inducing for the parent. In the moment i think we will always view them as too young for it, but In principle I agree with the open book policy.
My parents allowed me to read whatever when I was growing up. I was an avid reader and always had a book with me. My senior year of high school I worked as a library aide and loved it. I read anything from Stephen King to Agatha Christie–I kind of had eclectic taste lol. I let me daughter read pretty much anything as well. She read the Hunger Games Trilogy when she was 11 and I worried about some of that but I read them before her so I would be able to answer any questions.
I have to say that she is one of the best spellers that I know. She also uses proper sentence structure when texting/messaging–not something I can say of many of her piers.
ps. I didn’t get to read your original post but I hope that you end up posting it.
I obviously can’t spell so please ignore my spelling mistakes. My daughter doesn’t have piers, she has peers.
The entry showed up in my feed reader…do you want me to send it to you?
The post looked fine on Feedly, too! I just finished the 3rd Harry Potter Book with my 7 year old last night and am debating whether to go on or not. It’s not just that the material gets darker, but the plot becomes more complex and I don’t want him to get so confused he becomes uninterested (which would be way worse than being really excited to read the next book but not being able to).
I have never limited what my kids could read. They are teens now and I still don’t regret that decision. Yes, we have had uncomfortable questions asked and uncomfortable discussions after those questions, but at least my kids come to me and ask. On the plus side, we have had some unbelievably amazing conversations, too, that have changed the way we all think about a subject.
I also got to read your original reading blog post before it disappeared.
I tend to parent on the side of being overprotective. When my kids were 8, I closely monitored what they read. My boys only read what was required in school, so it wasn’t much of an issue with them. But my daughter has always loved reading and has always read way above her age level. Any questionable books, I read first. I vetoed many books when she was younger.
Now that I have teens, I have loosened my grip and given them more freedom to make their own choices. My daughter is 15 now and pretty much reads whatever. My boys (17 & 19) still only read required school reading.
My 9 year old son is an avid reader, so I have a hard time monitoring what he reads because of the volume. Also, he has an iPad mini & access to Overdrive (library eBook) plus his own library card (he was crowding up my holds!). He usually has great taste in books & has stopped some that seemed too adult for him (I recommended one of them…oops).
Recently he campaigned to read the Maze Runner series. I said no for a while, but ultimately relented, and he enjoyed it. So I guess I’m trending more toward the not limiting side of things.
Ultimately my goal is to have a reading relationship like Kim & E have, where they recommend books to each other & share similar taste.
I read far above grade level as a kid and was very into VC Andrews, Jude Devaraux and Jean M. Auel, among others. I think your original post was spot on in that I’ll probably internal scream the first time I’m asked an awkward question about sex because of something my kids have read, but try to put forth an appearance of casual confidence. I think of all the things to limit my kids on sex in books will be the least of my worries. (I hope to limit exposure to violence and misogyny in the media – which will be a much bigger battle, I think.)