I have all these bits of nothing to write about today so I’m breaking out the old blogging trope: The Bulleted List. ENJOY.
- Did I used the word “trope” right?
- I’m taking D’s sister’s bridal portraits today and OH MY GOD I AM SO NERVOUS. This was kind of an afterthought – she’ll obviously get pictures taken of herself on her wedding day. But she’s doing a trial run of hair and makeup and they thought it might be nice to take some Bride Only shots in different places today for her parents. So, I’m trying not to be a lot of pressure on myself about it, but I’ve never done anything THIS IMPORTANT before I’m just just so worried! EEK.
- Nikki is playing u10 soccer again this year but this year she’s one of the oldest girls, I think even the only one that played u10 last year. u10 is the year things change in our league, more serious penalties (offsides etc) and a goalie and a bigger field. This coach (not the same wonderful coach we had last year) is taking it very seriously and I’m not quite ready for this transition. The phrasing was even used once, “This is not about fun, this is about winning.” What age did sports get serious for your child? He scheduled 8+ hours of soccer this week Mon-Thursday. The only thing that thwarted that schedule was fields being used, but it was his intent. To me? This is too much. But I know at some point sports go from “fun” to “serious” and maybe this is the age?
- I’ve not run much recently. There are several valid reasons and a handful of not-so-valid reasons. I’m looking forward to getting back on track next week assuming I can catch up on my sleep this weekend. Late nights laundry (lice), sick kids, meetings, book clubs, soccer, etc has made the last two weeks tricky as I’ve not been getting to bed as early as I’d like. I’ve had two nights this week where I’ve been up past 10 and since I need to be up by 3:30 on mornings I run, my need for sleep has trumped my need for a run. Not the best way to start off my training schedule for my 100K, but not the worst way either. Here’s to hoping next week is boring and I can get all the runs in that I want/need.
- I binged watched How To Get Away With Murder over the last several weeks – especially when I was caring for my sick daughter – and OMG. How did anyone watch that in real time? I couldn’t have handled having to wait a week between episodes. It did get a little predictable towards the end in that I kept thinking, “Okay – what is the big twist that will end THIS episode?” And you stop believing anything the show proposes as “true” unless it’s shown you it as a flashback. I do kinda hate shows and movies like that, where the “shock” of a twist is more important that dependable characters or plots. The twists started getting a little unshocking, so much so that the death in the season finale didn’t even make me gasp. But still! LOVED IT! And I really hope Oliver plays a bigger part in this season, they introduced a hefty “twist” involving him but it could easily be used as a device to get rid of his story too, so we’ll see. I’m hoping the severity of the twists isn’t what drives me away from the show like Scandal did. You can keep people tuned in and NOT make them roll their eyes in the process, right?
- So E has started his JUNIOR YEAR OF COLLEGE. Don’t we all feel old now? He was only home for a few days in the beginning and the end of the summer as he had an internship in Indianapolis. Since he’s the president of his fraternity he had to be back on campus early for all of the Greek Life shenanigans (his University is artsy and cooky and liberal so the Greek world is much different there than on typical college campuses) but classes started Monday and I miss him terribly. Life is insane and busy for him, I know, but holy crap I wish I could talk to him every day. I hate not knowing the minutia of his life and it’s the hardest part about watching him growing up, not knowing the silly things like: What did he wear to school today? What did he eat for breakfast? It’s weird how lost I feel not knowing the mundane elements of his life. WAH. MY BABY.
And thus ends the Random Bits of Randomness.
My daughter moved up to U12 in soccer this season, and they are only now starting to play with the offside rule. They practice twice a week for 1.5 hours. Her coaches still say things like “we want everyone to have fun.” I think that hearing “it’s about winning” at any age would really put me off.
Yeah, U10 is NOT the place for it to only be about winning. It should still be fun. Coach needs to chill or its going to be a LONG season. Maybe if it were a travel league where one pays the big bucks, one could justify that kind of an attitude, but really its not even good then. (Ironically, a friend just shared this article about how we do youth soccer wrong, too competitive too early, etc. http://www.topdrawersoccer.com/the91stminute/2015/08/when-it-comes-to-development-choose-freedom/ Not sure if showing that to the coach would make a difference though.) I’m sorry, I hope its not too stressful of a year for her.
I was a competitive year-round swimmer for 10 years, starting at age 7. I stopped after high school and didn’t swim in college, but my brother was an NCAA All American. I coached with a nationally ranked high school team for 5 years, and a summer country club team. Then I moved and coached a year-round club team for a few more years. Growing up, almost everyone I knew was a swimmer, and in our city, swimming was a huge sport- we refer to is as like football is in Texas. Because it was such a big sport there, there were a lot of teams to choose from, from the super serious for all ages to the more laid back teams. I saw lots of my peers burn out or keep competing through college even though they hated it by then. My parents weren’t crazy about things- they were involved in our teams on the parent side, and my mom knew everyone’s best times and was really into it, but my dad knew nothing. They never pressured us, never gave us advice other than on how to behave and to listen to our coaches, and were happy when we won or got a best time, but never upset if we didn’t. As a result, my brother and I swam because we enjoyed it.
I assume u10 means under 10, and that is way too early to be taking the fun out of it! That doesn’t mean it can’t be competitive and it’s not too young to start playing by official rules, but that’s not mutually exclusive with fun! In swimming, at a local level we were pretty lenient with 6 & Unders in terms of not disqualifying them as much as we could have, but they only compete in that age group in 25 free and 25 back for that reason. We don’t change the rules as they get older, just introduce the more technical strokes and longer events a little later. Generally all of USA Swimming uses national/Olympic rules. Again, that doesn’t mean it’s not fun. Swimming and soccer practice times might be different- we grouped kids not just by age but by ability and by how serious they were about swimming. 8 hours/week for a talented 9 or 10 year old who is serious about swimming wouldn’t be unusual, but we also had 10 year olds swimming year round but only 3 days/week, 75 min per practice. Some coaches are more serious and won’t let year round swimmers (as opposed to the much shorter, much less competitive summer club season) play another sport if it conflicts with practice or could injure the swimmer. I always told kids they would be better all around athletes if they played other sports, and told them not to pick one sport until high school, and then only if they wanted to focus on swimming all year (not just during the high school season.)
But, it should always be fun! Even when the practicing gets more serious and the games more competitive, being on the team, and being in the sport should be fun. Winning is fun, sure, but you want a coach who will be happy if the kids play a great game even if they lose. Maybe the parents can work on some social stuff to keep the team fun? I remember a lot of t-shirt making parties, poster making, team cheers, carbo loading parties, etc, but swimming is different since the meets are super long and there’s lots of cheering for everyone- probably like cheering for a triathalon.
Keeping swimming fun and not burning kids out (emotionally or physically with rotator cuff injuries) while at the same time running a practice, not an open swim or swim lesson, takes a lot of work and thought from the coaches, and we always relied on the parents to not put too much pressure on their kids and used social activities for team bonding.
TL;DR: 10 is too young for it to be all about winning, not about fun. It’s not too young to focus on “winning” but who says that means it can’t be fun? Unless your kid is going to be a professional athlete, why should they play sports if they aren’t enjoyable?
That said, give the coach some time. If your daughter enjoys being on the team and doesn’t find it too stressful, she might like that there’s a little more structure.
I live in the Kansas City metro area, and soccer is very popular here, and people take it very seriously (Go Sporting!) My kids, U8 and U13, play in a rec league – volunteer coaches, small fees to play. I think U9 or U10 was around the time that they start playing against teams from different clubs, vs. intramural, and there are more rules and bigger fields each year (the U13s just went full field this year.) That being said, though they’re keeping score, it’s primarily for fun/learning/exercise, and they practice just once a week for about 1.5-2 hours.
On the flip side, my husband also coaches 2 competitive club teams, where kids tryout, travel, it’s a significant financial investment and truly are competitive. He has coached every age level, from U8 up to U18. They have never practiced more than twice a week. And while yes, he is intense, and the games can be intense, having fun is still important, because he doesn’t want the kids to quit or stop loving the sport. Prior to club coaching, he coached a pretty successful (they won several state championships) high school team for 10 years. They practiced 7-10 hours a week in the preseason, but once the season started, that was greatly reduced. They need time to rest, study, and have a life outside of soccer.
It can be about winning AND fun.
Oh my goodness. At her age having it be all about winning and so much practice would be a no-go with our family.
u10 is too early and she doesn’t need the pressure. I would look for another place for her to play or another team. Sports should always be fun, even if you play for money. She is way too young for that much practice. That being said- what does she think. If she likes it and enjoys competition then maybe I personally think that competition shouldn’t start till at least middle school
JUNIOR!???? What??? Didn’t he “just” start his freshman year? What’s next? Nikki’s prom? Wes’ first year in high school? WAAAH!
My baby just turned 3. I feel like I just brought her home from the hospital only last year. And she’s already talking about her “husband” and “children” (yes, they play very seriously at “real-life” in her daycare class/cohort! [They’ve been together since infants] No inappropriate behavior, though, thank heaven!).
How is it time seems to go by so quickly!?