Making My Best Efforts Not To Thwart My Own Best Efforts

Thanks for the suggestions yesterday! I opted to start The Fosters on my ride this morning. The problem is I’ve seen a few episodes here and there so I know some of what happens, so I may have to start with something BRAND NEW to really keep my mind occupied. But it worked for this morning’s ride!

SO. I wanted to update y’all on some of my efforts to get a handle on my stress eating. Reminder – since we contacted a realtor about selling our house last Fall I had gained 15’ish lbs. Before that I had gained 5’ish back from what I call my “fighting weight” which is my ideal race weight. So, basically? I was 20’ish lbs up from my fighting weight at the beginning of June.

I’ve been doing better. It helps that I’ve worked out 11 days straight, some days 2 separate workouts (yesterday I ran 5 miles before work and swam a mile in the evening) thanks to my triathlon training. The evening workouts really prevent the stress eating because that’s my most vulnerable time – the evening – so if I have a workout to distract me it tends to help.

I’m also trying to be smarter during those vulnerable moments. Those moments where you’re just tired/overwhelmed/upset and you think, “Shit – who cares, I’m going for broke” and you order 2 meals for lunch takeout instead of one. You eat one in the car and then one at the office so no one knows you ate two lunches. (What? Never done that?) I’m trying to really look at those moments and then look at how I’ve been getting up at 3am some mornings just to get my workouts in. How I’ve been stressing about open water swimming and cycling on the road to gear up for this triathlon. All of that effort does not carry as much weight if I’m still gaining weight in the process. A leaner body will do nothing but help my efforts so why give myself another hurdle to jump over?

Of course, I’m not always going to have a training schedule this insane, so I’m not sure if this method will work, but for now? It is. I’m down to 2 pieces of candy from the office bowl a day and I’ve stopped my nightly beer habit. I actually had to really deal with that habit because it had become nightly beer(S). One night last week I had THREE in one night and I was like, “Kim! That’s a weekend quantity! Not a weeknight quantity!”

(Yes, I talk to myself.)

So, I nipped that in the bud. Now, I didn’t just tell myself NO MORE NIGHTLY BEER! But, I am being smart about it. I’m waiting until later in the evening to decide if I want one so that I only have time for one, and then I’m being honest with myself about if I really want one. It’s become a habit, so I don’t want to have one unless I’m really going to enjoy it. Not just because it’s there. I bought a 6 pack Saturday and I’ve not touched it yet, so that’s working much better.

I’m also really tired. This week I have stuff planned every night. I had a 1-mile swim last night, I have a group training session tonight and tomorrow night, and I have a play with a friend Thursday night. Not every week is like this but I’m going into this week and seeing that schedule and knowing that weeks like this are the PERFECT recipe for a 6-pack of donuts in the parking lot of Publix.

(Holy crap, that sounds really good right now. STAY STRONG, KIM.)

I’m about 5lbs down from that 15lbs. I would love to lose another 5+ before my race. I can’t get down to my preferred race weight in that time, but I made it through several races this year above that weight, so it’s not ideal, but I can do it.

I just need to just look at that mile swim I did last night every time I want to stress eat. I did not want to do that swim. I was so tired. SO VERY TIRED. I had a full day, up since 4:30, ran 5 miles, worked 8 hours, did some freelance stuff after work, cooked dinner, did laundry, and then had to go swim. And I didn’t want to go AT ALL, but I DID. And I need to look at that person who made that decision and not punch her in the face by eating 6 donuts or drinking 3 beers before dinner. That girl deserves better. She left the house to swim a whole mile when all she wanted to do was curl up in bed with a book. She deserves respect and love – and stuffing her face full of donuts in a fit of anxiety is neither.