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End of the Week Miscellany

  • Okay! You all have convinced me that I should try to break my addiction to sugar and artificial sweeteners. Although, I’m not sure how since all of you agreed with me and said, “OH MY GOD IT IS SO TERRIBLE TO QUIT!” I don’t think I can go cold turkey/detox though. At least not now. I’m going to start cutting back and logging my intake so that maybe I can eventually cut back to zero. Ug. I’ll be honest. I’m already dreading this whole process even just TALKING about it.
  • I signed up for my first 100K! I thought about doing this one last year but I decided it was too much on top of my Grand Slam attempt. (3 local 50Ks and 1 marathon in like 7 weeks.) It’s the perfect 100K for me because it’s on a Greenway (not through the woods) so I’ll A) Go faster than I would on the trails and B) Won’t be too scared of running in the dark. It’s also in Knoxville which is where my Mom lives so it’s close and I have free accommodations. I’ve run 52 miles before in 12 hours so doing 62 with a 24+ time limit is not intimidating (a lot of 100Ks have stricter time limits) so it’s perfect! Except the name. And the prizes all center around the Pistol. The hippy in me wishes it could be like, a Rainbow or something. BUT! It’s really hard to find the perfect 100K and I figure a gun theme outweighs running through the woods or having to do tons of traveling. I AM SIGNED UP FOR A 100K! EEK. If you are in the area and want to help me through some late miles VERY SLOWLY, please let me know! If my previous attempts at similar challenges are any indication, I’ll be doing 14-minute miles by the end with constant walk breaks. If that sounds like fun, let me know come January!
  • I need a new bag. I carried a fun Fossil one FOREVER (like, 3 years) but Fossil doesn’t make fun bags anymore and I needed something a tad bit bigger for my bullet journal and accessories. I carry a Kavu bag now, I’ve used various Kavu bags over the years and I love them, but they’re REALL hard to dress up. I don’t mind switching back and forth between two bags (casual, dressy) but I don’t want to buy a bag that’s A) More than $50 or B) So dressy it doesn’t feel like me. It’s weird because I kinda want to dress up for work more (not that I have to, just want to) on days I don’t have photo shoots but all I say to myself is, “But my bag! It’s too casual for that outfit!” I have no idea why I’m telling you all this but it is TOTALLY SOMETHING I’M OBSESSING OVER. You know, because there’s nothing more important to worry about, like selling my house.
  • Screen Shot 2015-06-05 at 4.45.39 AMI started implementing some of the KonMari method into my “Operation Downsize” journey. We’ve decluttered a LOT. From about 2 years ago when we decided we wanted to downsize, I’ve probably gotten rid of about 10-15% of the crap we had in our house. If not more. But, if we want to cut our square feet in half, we need to do more. Not a whole lot more because our house wasn’t “full” to begin with, but we need to get rid of some stuff. It’s easy for me, I have no problem getting rid of stuff. But it’s hard on Donnie and really hard if he has no idea where we are moving so the motivation isn’t there. The KonMari method is nice because it kinda gives you specific rules to follow, which makes it easier on Donnie. We went through our clothes last weekend and we gave 12 bags of stuff to Goodwill. AND WE DIDN’T HAVE A LOT TO BEGIN WITH. I mean, our closet wasn’t even full! We do probably have one extra dresser than the average person because we have more “In The Drawer” type clothes than most, but still! We are not clothes people! And we still got rid of 12 bags. INSANE. It definitely is a little on the “weird” side in it’s personification of your possessions. “Your socks need to be happy!” But still, it puts into words and rules a lot of what I’ve always had in my head in terms of keep v/s get rid of. I love it.
  • Speaking of our house and downsizing. It still hasn’t sold. It’s one of those houses that we knew would be a hard sell. It has tons of square feet, but not in “bedrooms” so it’s sized like a 5 – 6 bedroom house, but only has 4 bedrooms. The bedrooms are HUGE and there are other rooms, but if you need ACTUAL bedrooms, it’s not for you. But, it’s priced more than a 4-bedroom house because it’s HUGE. But, it’s older, so if you’re in the price market it’s in, you will probably opt for a smaller updated 4 bedroom for the same price. SO! We basically need someone exactly like us – someone who would like the space but can’t afford it in a newer house. But “general” space, no bedroom space. The house was on the market for almost 2 years before we bought it. It’s a weird floor plan that will be perfect for SOMEONE, and when that person comes along the price is GREAT, but it’s just a matter of waiting for that someone. And how does “price we want to sell the house for” compare to “how much time before Kim loses her mind trying to keep it clean”. I will say this: If we don’t sell it in the 6 month contract window we have with our realtor, I may need to be committed. It really is causing me more anxiety than anything I’ve ever been through before. More than watching my Dad die. More than quitting smoking. Selling my house is THE WORST.
  • I’ve been thinking a lot about heroes and the people we idolize in celebrity form. When they do shitty things, why do we have such a hard time breaking ties with them? I know people who I feel like are perfectly lovely and rational who still love the Duggars. I am not a Christian so I never got the appeal of watching a show about a family promoting those values, but they promote the whole “Being Gay Is A Sin” thing a lot. (Remember, I don’t like the whole “Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin” line.) And friends/family who I think support my kid and don’t think he’s a sinner, really like them so that always sat weird with me. Every time they’d talk about how they like them I’d think, “But do you agree with them? That even if my kid saved himself for marriage like you think heterosexuals should, he would STILL be a sinner?” And then the Mom did those robocalls that were outright lies about the Transgender Women, and my friends and family still supported her. And now the Josh Duggar thing. I’m seeing friends/family just blow it off like when they smoked cigarettes at 15. And it’s weird, right? Because I knew not to do that kind of stuff when I was 15. I did stupid stuff, but nothing like that. It just confuses me how people just refuse to abandon them. It was hard for me to see them openly supporting the Duggars when they were simply soooo anti-LGBTQ, but now it’s really weird. It’s one thing to not openly declare you don’t like them anymore, but they’re openly supporting them saying things like, “I did stupid stuff when I was a teenager too.” And I just don’t get it.

    I’ve been trying to think of people I’ve idolized who have fallen from the pedestal I’ve put them on. I would say maybe Bill Clinton would be a good example? I was so mad at him when the Monica Lewinsky stuff came out. I didn’t agree with the efforts to impeach him because I felt like it was a waste of time, but I didn’t publicly stand by his side and blow off his idiocy. But I don’t know, if something like that happened today to someone I idolize, maybe I would? Basically I get my feelings hurt as the parent of an LGBTQ kid every time my friends/family publicly support the Duggars. And now I’m really confused by it. So I just want to understand it so that maybe I won’t get my feelings hurt. Have you ever had a public figure you’ve stood by even though you really didn’t agree with them? Just because you didn’t want to joint the witch hunt?

11 thoughts on “End of the Week Miscellany”

  1. I have so many feelings about the Duggars! Also Caitlyn Jenner! And the way people react/act with both situations has hacked me off to no end.

    To me it’s a no-brainer to support a kid who is gay, or WHATEVER. My daughter dated a girl in high school, and is now dating a boy. It never once occurred to me that she was doing something wrong either way. She was happy; that’s all I cared about. I would say “good for you” for supporting your son, but really, how can you not?!

    People astound me with their stupidity every single day. It’s unfortunate, but their loss to not want to know some awesome people. It must suck to be so sure you are right about everything. The ones I know who are so sure of their “christian” values are, underneath, some of the most miserable people I know.

  2. I think Bill Cosby is a good example of someone who I just loved. But, as a reasonable human being, I have to come to terms that as a person he did things that are reprehensible. I would never defend his actions or him as a person because I like(d?) his comedy, but I can see where there is an uncomfortable fraction. Amy Schumer’s skit about the court of public opinion is particularly funny/insightful/painful and really applies to any “beloved” public figure that does something awful.

  3. I don’t care about the Duggars any more than I care about other people. I don’t view any celebrities as special or put them on a pedestal or anything like that. That’s my disclaimer. However, I think there’s a reason juvenile records are sealed. Teens do terrible things, not all kids, and not usually as bad as Josh did, but I don’t believe as a general rule that any adult should be held to the fire for something done in adolescence. Not even murder. Unless the behavior is extremely violent, psychopathic, and repeated I think it should stay in the juvenile system and stay sealed unless a judge in adult court deems otherwise. Also, with an extremely sheltered lifestyle, a child is going to explore their sexuality later than usual and probably not in the normal play Dr sort of way because of the shame associated with normal sexual thoughts. It could be comparable to the shame that lgbtq youth feel which stunts their normal sexual development (when raised in anti-gay environments). Actually, some of the Duggars anti-diversity campaigning I see as wrong, but I don’t see them as mean or evil people; just people doing their best with what they know. They might be evil for all I know, but I don’t know them and I always assume people are trying their best imperfectly. I see my self as very active Christian. I attend religious meetings regularly and read a ton of religious materials daily and pray constantly. The flip side is I don’t really care about the Jenners or Kardashians. I want them to find happiness and love but no more than every other person. People are making cruel statements out of fear. They think more people are going to turn trans if we say okay I accept you as Caitlyn. I, on the other hand, am grateful my physical and emotional genders match. I don’t think it is cruel to show concern for Bruce’s children or ex wife who have every right to go through a mourning period. I think it is insensitive to not show love and compassion to someone (such as Caitlyn) who is going through such a huge, painful process. Christians, or those who claim Christianity, are still sinners. They may not realize it, but when they choose to judge people or choose to view people as other, they are not acting from love. I do believe there are sins: many, many sins. We should teach our kids about sin without referencing people. We don’t know their heart and no matter what we may think we don’t know to what God’s grace applies. I am hopeful it applies to all of my sin and pain. I believe gay people have an equal chance at heaven as me. Caitlyn’s bravery is in the fact that she is stepping forward and taking the abuse and disgust and shock from many who this is the first experience with transgender. Hopefully they will react better next experience and even better the next experience after that. We all need many opportunities to fail in order to have the opportunity to choose compassion as our response. Seriously I just wrote a blog entry. Sorry for that. Hopefully it makes enough sense. I am grateful to people who give me opportunities to practice compassion. Also, sold a house last year and it sucks big time. I never wasn’t to move again. Ever. So good thoughts for you and your sanity.

  4. I meant all of their anti gay campaigning is wrong. I was going to say some of their public behaviors, but jumbled the thought.

  5. Is there a way I could talk to you privately regarding something you’ve said in this post?

  6. Yes! I’d forgotten about Bill Cosby. I actually met him once and he seemed like a perfectly nice man, but I can’t feel the same way about him anymore. I can’t really watch the Cosby Show anymore. Maybe years from now, or after he’s died I’ll be able to, but I just don’t know. And after Michael Richards went on that racist rant at a comedy club years ago, I was never really able to enjoy Seinfeld again.

  7. I hate to be so nasty on someone else’s blog, but f**k the Duggars. I’ve never liked them. There has, like Montel Williams (of all people) said, always been something very sinister about them. I believe the way they raise their kids is tantamount to child abuse. They think trans people are dangerous enough to kids to “warn” the public about, but molestation is a-okay, just pray it away? No. I was not in the least bit surprised to hear that they swept the molestation under the rug. It’s probably just the tip of the iceberg.

    As for the sugar detox, maybe you can try to keep track of it in your bullet journal? Maybe that would make it more interesting, and less of a chore. (I know you love an excuse to use your bullet journal!) Don’t be afraid to start over if you mess up. There’s no one “right” way to do it.

  8. The Duggars and their ilk are the epitome of hypocrisy and anybody who blows that off is a hypocrite. I am, like you, not religious and these types of people are a big part of that decision. I’ve never met more judgmental people than evangelical Christians–and I’m talking about people I’ve actually KNOWN. To a person they were constantly passing judgment on every other person’s life and nobody was “as Christian” as they were. I have no use for any of them. I will, however, defend their right to practice their bigoted, hypocritical faith in their own home and church. But I will not tolerate them using their bible to make laws about how the rest of us in this country should live our lives. And I shall now get down off of my soapbox and finish cleaning my house because I’m all riled up–time to use that energy!

  9. I was really hoping you’d get suggestions for purses! I’m in the market too and I love your old Fossil purse.

  10. I can’t even touch the Duggars because it just makes me so angry and I get mad at myself because why do I allow these people who I don’t even know get me so worked up? I wasn’t even a fan before, I really just hate watched their show because I knew they were notorious for spreading hate in their form of their religion. And now the Josh Duggar thing just makes me wish their entire empire will crumble and they’ll be left to really experience the impact of their decisions on a more realistic level.

    Bill Cosby is someone who has fallen from grace for me. I LOVED him, grew up on The Cosby Show, was so, so excited that he spoke at my college graduation. Then the accusations just kept coming and coming and I knew I couldn’t be one of those people who stood behind someone who so clearly did all those women wrong. I just can’t with him anymore.

    On a lighter note, I just ordered this bag: http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/14b2/

    I’ve had my eye on it for awhile as it went in and out of stock. I like the geekiness of it but in general it looks like an overall well constructed bag that fits my needs (i.e. lots and lots of pockets!). I think the neutral color and the construction to allow it to be carried like a purse or a side bag makes it versatile for work and casual. I haven’t gotten it yet but I’m excited to!

  11. When I first heard about the Josh Dugger molestation, a lot of people said things about him being “a teenager” and my first reaction was to think, yeah, I did stupid crap as a teen too. My second thought though was that even when I was a rather dumb teenager, I never ever thought it was acceptable to touch or fondle someone’s body without their consent.

    Also, there are some great purse makers on Etsy

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