We break from the Harry Potter programming to discuss parenting and insanity.
Specifically…my parenting and my insanity.
Yesterday I went 3 for 3 with getting angry with my kids and failing at expressing that anger in any sort of productive way. 100% fail! Woot! #WinningAtFailing
But with the little ones, it ended in a good decision: A NO MORE SECOND CHANCE policy in our house. I’ve been trying to break Wes and Nikki of this snarky attitude they have towards me lately – it’s what I call the “DISNEY TWEEN” attitude. All of those Disney/Nick tween shows make the adults the butt of EVERY joke so they’re all rolling their eyes and getting annoyed with those dumb adults which means my kids now think I am one of those dumb adults. I’ve banned most of those shows (although I may ban more of them) trying to reprogram them, and I’m constantly doing the whole, “Excuse me?” thing to get them to repeat what they said in a better way…but as of last night? I’ve given up.
NO MORE SECOND CHANCES.
The latest bit I hate the most is the, “SOOOOOOOORY…” they give me when I’m pointing out something they didn’t do correctly.
“Wes, is that where your dish goes?”
With the tone of an annoyed teenager dealing with a nagging adult. You know, like you hear an unspoken, “Jeeeezzzz, chill out, lady…” afterwards. And while I might sometimes be a nagging adult? They are NOT allowed to be annoyed teenagers. YET.
So, the first time they dish out the attitude or rudeness? Punishments are distributed. BOOM. That’s the new policy. Because pointing out the attitude ninety million times a day and making them re-phrase or re-say what they’re trying to say with better word choices and less negative tone? None of that is actually changing their initial behavior. Now the habit is just: Snarky Attitude FIRST, then when Mom gets mad, deliver the message better but possibly with a stifled eyeroll underneath the surface.
I just really need my kids to talk to me with at least the same amount of respect I give them, more would be ideal, but I’d really just be happy with mutual respect at this point.
Also? I’m tired as crap. I’m still so very behind on life it’s not even funny. I had about 90 minutes of potential “free” time Monday night where I could maybe catch up with stuff that wasn’t house or work related (because those two things are taking top priority right now) and I couldn’t move out of the bed where the kids were watching TV. I zoned out on their shows and then just rolled up to bed. And then woke up at 3am because that is my new lovely schedule. The exhaustion is making my emotions super-raw and I’m basically crying at everything. It’s not about the lack of sleep even, I’m getting at least 5-6 hours a night (although I’ve discussed that I need much more than that to maintain my sanity) but it’s just exhaustion over my LIFE. There’s just too much going on. It feels even worse since so much built up on my vacation, but I just am having that terrible sensation that I’m in waaaaaay over my head right now and I can’t even begin to figure out where to get it all sorted out. I JUST NEED THE HOUSE TO SELL. I keep telling myself that will make things easier. Also, soccer season is finally over this week, that will help substantially. Of course, that’s been cramping into my Tri Training so now that soccer season is over I’ll just replace those hours with workouts I haven’t been doing, so it’s not like I’m going to suddenly have free time to just RELAX.
I forced myself to do some doodling in the car during Nikki’s soccer practice last night. I haven’t done it in weeks/months but I knew I needed some time to let my brain just zone out on something mindless because I could NOT stop crying after I picked up the kids yesterday. I needed to reboot my brain, if that makes sense, so I just zoned out on some doodles in my bullet journal. It helped, for sure. Need to remember that it helped and force myself to do that more often.
Sorry for the off-topic rant there at the end. Just need to document that stuff periodically in case we ever decide to sell a house again.
7 thoughts on “Soooooooooorry.”
I LOVE your blog. and your doodling. and how you put everything out there RAW. I always thought that I needed a vacation from my vacation. It usually would take about three weeks for everything to get flowing correctly once we’d get home and everything was back in sync. I really want to go back to Harry Potter World now that I’ve read your insights and adventures. Good luck on selling your house. Hope you will stay in the neighborhood.
My son just turned 11 and he is really into that eye rolling and talking just low enough that I can hear him but can’t hear what he is saying. It is driving me nuts! We are fighting too much and I feel like the worst mother ever. What are you doing for punishment? I take his screen time and he says I don’t care. Then he stays in a pissy mood for so long and makes us all miserable.
I agree with Holly that it always takes me a couple of weeks to recover from vacation, especially since I am the only one who seems to do the unpacking and clothes washing. Judging by your pre-travel list, you are probably the one doing all that too. I hope your house sells quickly!
Oh lady. You have all my sympathy. I’m dealing with a lot of attitude from my 6.5 year old these days also. Man, I try to nip that stuff in the bud. There is nothing worse than rudeness or disrespect to me. But it is hard to figure out how to get THROUGH to them sometimes. And this is a wild thought, but I wonder if when you get back to tri training you’ll feel better? Exercise is actually kind of a wonder drug, proven by science and stuff to be effective in combating depression, PTSD, etc. I know it’s still TIME that you don’t feel that you have, but it’s time for YOU and not for kids’ sports, for example. One day at a time, one mile at a time. xoxo
I think you are being WAY too hard on yourself. You just got back from the trip of a lifetime! I think it is expected that re-entry into the Muggle World would be tough for everyone — parents AND kids. Muddle through this week and I am guessing next week will be easier!
Thank you for sharing all of your vacation tips, stories and photos with us! I will never take my kids to Disney World, but am really, really hoping to take them to Harry Potter!!
Arg Kim, I feel you on this one. But good job on choosing doodling in the car vs. a dozen donuts (even if you did that later, you still made a good decision).
As for the kids’ snarkiness, I’ve recently found that the more I get upset back at them, the more the cycle continues. I’m trying really hard (failing half the time) to get down to their level and explain why the respect is important to me. I also give a silly example of how it would look if I did whatever they did to their Dad, and that usually reminds them the behavior isn’t normal in our family. Doing so also give me time to take a breath so that I don’t vent my anger back…half the time.
Okay…this blog entry made my blood pressure go up! I have kids the same age and am dealing with those lovely issues too. The house selling and being in over your head are REALLY making my blood pressure go up when I think about those feelings. I FEEL FOR YOU! I have felt all that and it sucks! Have you ever read The Secret (I haven’t, actually) or listened to Abraham Hicks on Youtube (it is kinda related to the Secret idea)? This is kinda a strange suggestion, but I think it might be something you could possibly like. Not sure. It is a little kooky, but it works for me. When I am feeling TOTALLY OVERWHELMED, I listen to Abraham Hicks on Youtube (it is a lady named Esther who is focused on positive vibes and all the benefits from that). It always, always gets me down off the ledge when I listen to her. Not sure why, but the basic message is “Everything is ok. Its all unfolding the way it should. Find a sense of ease about life. ” Just thought I’d throw that out there to see if it could help! Love your blog!
I also agree with Kelli above! the week after vacation just SUCKS. It is kinda like a bump back to Earth and a big let down! My mom says to just feel the blah. Its okay. Just RECOVER.