I’ve watched two movies lately about addiction. It wasn’t intentional, I just found myself drawn to both of them and afterwards I wondered if it was my subconscious looking for guidance with my own stress-eating habits. One thing that was brought up in one of them was that, to clean up, you have to make sure you’re not ever TIRED or HUNGRY because that’s when you’re at your weakest.
And man…that TIRED thing? Is so true. When I’ve not been getting my full 8-hours a night sleep? I’m much quicker to binge eat. Part of it is that I feel like it’s a stimulus that will help keep me awake. The other part of it is that I’m often too tired to focus on something I need to be doing, but I know I need to be doing something, so I’ll eat instead.
So…YES. I need to make sure I stop being tired so much.
The other part – avoid being hungry – I just kinda brushed off because it doesn’t seem like it can really apply if your addiction is food related. But then yesterday I was really hungry, and I ate, and those hunger pangs weren’t satiated, so I ate some more. And I realized, when I’m really hungry, a “normal” sized meal doesn’t feel like it fills me up, mainly because I eat so fast and my brain probably hasn’t processed the food enough to recognize that the hunger pangs can stop. I also was hungry leaving a meeting this week and instead of waiting until I got home and getting a good meal, I grabbed something en route and made a bad decision doing that.
So…maybe I do need to make sure I don’t get hungry.
But – that feels so First World-ish, doesn’t it? To eat before you’re actually hungry? I guess the idea is to eat a “snack” – something on a salad plate, not a dinner plate. (That’s a distinction that is very important in my life because I feel like my plate needs to be FULL of FOOD, or it’s not enough. Salad plates save me often.) It just feels like something the rich and privileged do – NEVER FEEL HUNGER PANGS! I’ve read powerful pieces about that before, that our society never really truly feels hungry, so I like the idea of waiting to eat until I actually feel hungry to eat. But after that movie I’m now wondering if that’s not ideal for someone with my unhealthy relationship with food?
What about you? Do you wait and eat until you’re hungry? I don’t do it often, but I like to use it as a sign that I actually need food and that I’m not just bored. Deliberately trying to avoid that in some way (How would I even avoid it? Eat something every 3 hours or less?) feels strange…like I’m no longer listening to my body. But listening to my body some days leads me to a 2,000 calorie excess so – you know – that’s obviously not working out for me either.
I’m thinking about food a lot today because I decided to cancel a trip to Knoxville and I was really looking forward to seeing my friends, but I was ALSO looking forward to a veggie plate from Aubrey’s which is one of my favorite plates of food in the world. Wonder if they’ll deliver out of state?