Better! :)

I feel MUCH better today! As you can tell by the emoticon in the title! That’s complex content creation, right there. Learn from the master.

Sometimes this blog is the only thing that keeps me from needing a therapist or medication for my anxiety or depression. There’s something so weirdly therapeutic about putting my thoughts/feelings out in the universe and there’s DEFINITELy something (not at all weird) about voices saying, “Yeah…me too.” So, thank you.

I had a good run yesterday. I held the pace for 13 miles that I’m supposed to hold in an official capacity as a race pacer in a half marathon in 2 weeks. I was worried about a lot of things making that difficult (I’m so sick of whining about my ailments) but nothing caused me any problems yesterday. I ran peacefully listening to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince for 2+ hours and it was actually quite nice. The road hurt my body, but it didn’t damage my spirit like it usually does. I can run on trails silent for hours and not every stress because I’m only focusing on taking the next step without breaking my neck. Running on roads doesn’t require that much focus so sometimes my brain finds ONE thing to stress out about and I spend every step of every mile stressing about that ONE thing, making the miles torturous. But! Harry Potter kept that from happening.

All problems in life can be solved by Harry Potter.

I also woke up this morning feeling rested. Which comes with equal parts joy and terror. My kids have spread out their ailments over the last 3 nights so that the day I feel recovered from the sleepless nights associated with one illness, another one pops up. DEAR UNIVERSE: Please don’t let anyone get sick today! I’m over it! Thanks! Love, Kim.

I ran with MapMyRun to keep my pace yesterday since I don’t have a GPS. While I was setting it up, it encouraged me to connect to MyFitnessPal which I have a hate/hate relationship with. BUT! I thought, Kim, you need some help with your diet. You’re eating your feelings every day now. Why don’t you give MFP another chance? So – I set it up again under a new email so I could have a fresh start. (This is, like my fourth account? They won’t let you just “Clear All Data” and start over and I abhor seeing evidence of my past failures.) I tracked my calories and my running yesterday and it was probably the first day I’ve not had at least ONCE moment of stuffing my face to feed my anxiety in…well…weeks. I may still hate MFP, but it gave me ONE GOOD DAY, and I needed that after weeks and weeks of bad ones.

I’ve got another long run today, but this one is on trails, thank goodness. It’s also with friends, which makes it even better. Thanks for tolerating my angst yesterday…I feel like I owe you all a co-pay.

Leave a Reply