I’m the kind of person who is always trying to better myself. Some days I think this is how everyone is because I am just surrounded by those kind of people – both online and IRL. (In Real Life. It’s how the cool kids speak.) But then I hear periodically that there are people who just stay with the status quo, probably wanting to be better in some way, but never really trying. I don’t know any of those people but I’d like to think if they hung out with me for a day, they’d change their view. There’s is something intoxicating about trying something new in the hopes that it brings you closer to the you that you want to be. I think that’s why I used to buy a new calendar/planner every few months. It gave me an excuse to start clean, start over, and try again at being more organized and that was always such a good feeling. I think that’s also why some people try so many diets – because that hope that this will be the one! is almost euphoric.
Does any of it work? Most of the time? No. But I’m about to celebrate my one year anniversary with the Bullet Journal system and I’ve not stuck with one calendar/organization system for an entire year…EVER. I’m also about to register for the Huntsville Half Marathon which I did as part of my first training class in 2011 and I’ve been running ever since. So, yes. Sometimes we try things and they don’t work. But sometimes they do work and we find ourselves in a better place because of them. SO WHY NOT TRY?
Today I woke up with this weird sense of urgency. TODAY! TODAY I WILL IMPROVE ALL OF THE THINGS!
I am even typing this urgently, if you can believe it. I woke up at 3am and just thought that this would be the day I would try different methods for EVERYTHING. Because I’ve settled into so many ineffective systems of living that I just need to try new things. I’ve gotten really good at focusing on my work now that the kids are in school, but that means I’m not moving from my desk for – sometimes – 8 hours. I sit down at 4am, get up sometimes to run, always to get the kids ready for school, but essentially I’m here until 2:20pm when I leave to pick up the kids. And depending on the day (like if I ran or not) I sit back down again until 4pm. HAVEN’T YOU HEARD? Sitting is the new smoking! It’s going to kill us all! So today? I WILL SIT LESS. I think I’m going to figure out a schedule, like…every hour on the hour I’ll get up, make a circle around the house, and then do 10 pushups, 10 situps, and 10 squats. That will get me away from the desk for less than 5 minutes, but if I do it 10 times? I’ve done 100 of those things a day! I don’t know…we’ll give it a try.
And I’m going to open Facebook less. I’m a funny girl, did you know that? I am. And I like to share that funny with Facebook. I only friend people on Facebook I actually know, so if we’ve never met in some capacity we’re not FB friends, but if we are? You know that I post articles/pictures/statuses 100 times a day. I can’t help it! I take a cute picture of my cat on my printer, or my kid says something funny, or someone sends me a great article…all of these things I want to share with the world! Which is fine…except that once you open Facebook, you’re stuck there. You have to read your updates and check your feed and the next thing you know…12 years have passed. So today! Today I will only open Facebook to post what I want to post, and then I will close it until a designated “CATCH UP ON FACEBOOK” time.
I will not stop taking the phone with me to the potty, though. Facebooking while Peeing is the new Black.
I work on websites all day with my job. I love my work but it’s like Geometry was in school. Sometimes you have this theorem you have to prove and you work on it and you stare at it but you just can’t get the logic to connect from beginning to end. So! You get up and you walk away for a bit. Almost always, you sit back down and BAM! You figured it out! But still…you HAVE to get away to allow the productive part of your troubleshooting brain some quiet time to work it out while the rest of your brain shifts focus. So! I have decided I need to be way more conscious with how I use that time. Sometimes I just switch to another web task, but in reality, I should get up and from the computer and do something completely mundane for 5 minutes. Like do a load of laundry, or wash some dishes, or clean a toilet. Because the shift really does help my brain troubleshoot better AND it gives me a chance to knock a domestic chore off my list. Today! Today I’m going to be more productive with those “I Need To Reboot My Brain” moments.
I’m still struggling with stress eating, even as a vegan. It amazes me how easy that is to do. (It also makes me very sick some days. Overdosing on some kinds of fiber is not recommended by my digestive system.) I’m going to try to eat on a schedule today. I do get hungry more often because food doesn’t sit with me as long, so I do need to eat more, but I find that my stress eating habits get magnified in those moments of hunger so I’m trying to beat the hunger pains. I’m going to try to schedule snacks all day so I never feel that “hungry” feeling that sometimes pushes me down the spiral of overeating.
Parenting. Dammit. I’ve been an awful Mom these last few weeks. I know we all have bad days but my bad days have been so bad I don’t even want to tell you about them and that’s insane because I talk about boob sweat here, so you know it must be bad. But I have big hopes for a good parenting today. BIG HOPES. BIG DREAMS. GOOD MOM. Done.
Basically? I woke up ready to MAKE SOME DAMN CHANGES. I don’t know why. All I know is that if you’re the kind of person who likes trying to better yourself because sometimes something sticks…then you don’t want to waste those spontaneous urges to IMPROVE ALL OF THE THINGS. It’s the shotgun approach to self-help. Just change it all and surely some bad habit will fall to the ground.
And if not? The feeling of trying is at least euphoric in and of itself. The attempt at improvement is very valuable to motivating you to try again later. It feels good to try. Failing sucks, but it doesn’t overpower that feeling of, “Today! Today I will try this thing to better my life!” And when I wake up with the urge to try all of the things to better all of my life? I’m not going to ignore it.
BRING IT ON.
Edited to Add: This is the perfect time to tell you that the 30 Day Subtraction Project is starting again September 1st! Do it! Talking about an easy project to make you feel better about your life. When she did it a few months ago, I looked forward to the daily email prompts. They were GREAT. And the motivation for the before/after photos of practical tasks (some are not that concrete) was awesome. Loved looking at the progress on those days! GO SIGN UP! It starts Monday!