Greening The Zoots, Parenting

I’m Giggling About Farts, People. This is Serious Stuff.

Wes woke up with foot cramps again tonight so I used the excuse to finally get up for the day myself as I’m dealing with some weird nerve/pain issue in my head/neck.

(This is the part where I pretend I’ve been writing consistently for the last two weeks and opt NOT to make excuses as to why I haven’t been.)

Do you get those weird nerve pain things? Where there’s like some sort of weird throbbing surface pain on under the skin of your head? (I’m pointing to the spot right now as I’m proof-reading this. Because you can totally see me. I’ve lost my mind.) It’s not a headache, it’s too close to the surface for that, but it’s as irritating? I tend to associate it with stress. And this settling-back-into-school thing has been stressing me RIGHT THE HELL out. So, long story short? It’s my kid’s fault. As always. Damn kids.

SPEAKING OF KIDS! (I am typing with my head crooked to the side in an awkward angle to try to keep the throbbing to a minimum.)

We’re attacking lunches quite differently this year and I’m certain it will make you hate me because – until this year – I hated any parent who indicated they did something with lunch other than throw a bunch of highly-processed pre-packaged shit in a bag. Because that’s what I did for, well, the last 14 years? I waited to see what lunch box items were on BOGO at Publix each week and stocked up and spent 3 minutes packing lunches every morning by throwing several individually wrapped packages of carbs and preservatives into the lunch box. It worked for me. And if it works for you? PLEASE KEEP DOING IT! I am not judging you! I am, however, going to use the rest of this blog entry to brag about my own lunches because, if I’m putting 15 minutes into them instead of 3? I GET TO BRAG ABOUT THEM. THAT’S IN THE BRAGGING HANDBOOK.

(Just like if I run more than 1 mile I get to brag about it on Facebook. BRAGGING HANDBOOK. Get it, people. You may be missing your chance to toot your own horn!)

(I can’t say “toot” without thinking of farting. So, now I’m sitting at my desk with my neck crooked giggling about farting at 2:15am. I am the picture of sanity, people.)

OUR LUNCHES!

Low Waste Lunch System

I mentioned before that one of the positive side effects of my Great Vegan Experiment is that I’m feel much less guilt about the food I eat. I didn’t realize I carried a lot of that guilt around before, but I guess I did! And just thinking about packing the kids lunches had me feeling the same guilt rushing back. I decided to experiment a bit with healthier options and while I was doing that, I started looking into storage containers since healthy options aren’t usually pre-packaged. As I was doing this the first week or so of school, and talking to another Mom about it, I realized I was also eliminating a whole CRAP LOAD of trash that we used to create from our lunch boxes. So, that became my main mission. MINIMAL WASTE. Because, it turns out? If you force yourself to make a lunch with minimal waste? They just end up being a bit less processed.

This entire week – the only piece of trash that has come from the kid’s lunch boxes has been from the applesauce pouches. And I’m on the fence about even getting rid of those. I’m going to try to recreate the stuff with regular applesauce, but he loves the mixed flavors and while I’m okay putting stuff in reusable containers, I’m not okay with making applesauce from scratch. I DO HAVE STANDARDS, PEOPLE.

(But if I did make applesauce from scratch, I could brag about it. AMIRITE?)

Wesley does get “homemade” fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt because I put frozen blueberries under the vanilla yogurt I buy in the big containers. Nikki likes the vanilla yogurt by itself. We do Veggie Straws for the chips/cracker item as they’re better than chips or crackers. (They’re not “health food” but they’re also not “junk food” either – so we call it a win!) Nikki has decided she loves pistachios and they both have been getting fresh fruit of some sort. Some days Wes gets olives, most days he gets cottage cheese. They’re not vegan lunches, but they’re minimally process compared to the bags of crap they got last year. And Nikki considers it quite a spectacle that when the teacher says, “Throw your trash away!” she gets to stay put and gloats about how green she is.

(BRAGGING HANDBOOK, people. GET IT.)

Like I always say, I do a lot of shit as a Mother I’m not proud of. I’ve been yelling more these last three weeks since school started than I did all summer. I’m not handling the transition well in many ways but DAMMIT IF MY LUNCHES AREN’T AWESOME. So, I’m going to hold on to that strand of success and keep from falling into the downward spiral of, “OH MY GOD I AM THE TOTAL WORST IN THE WORLD” that I seem to trip onto some most days.

P.S. I’m starting a 27 1/2 day challenge (30 day challenges are so boring!) – I have to write a blog entry every day for the next 27 1/2 days. I’m doing this as an apology to my friend of 19 years (WTF? WE ARE SO OLD!) Betsy who very subtly guilted me yesterday about not blogging regularly. Sorry for the last couple of weeks. I’ve been hanging on by that one thread and it’s hard to type with one hand. To apologize, here’s a picture of E and I from this week. He popped into town for 45 minutes before heading off to see One Direction with his friends and this is the selfie we took. He applied the B&W filter before putting it on instagram and I like it way better than the original because it hides the halo of frizz I was wearing that day.

photo

See you tomorrow! Blogging on a Saturday! It’s the new black!

8 thoughts on “I’m Giggling About Farts, People. This is Serious Stuff.”

  1. I’ve made applesauce in the crock pot a few times. It’s ridiculously easy. Works with pears, too. Potential bragging fodder?

  2. Those lunches look great. My son wants the same thing every day, no exceptions. And I have always thrown stuff in the bag. I’m not much of a cook. I can’t believe those moms who send in hot lunches or the fancy ones with little shaped eggs and designs on rice. Where do they find the energy?! Plus, my kid would not eat it.

    I have seen reusable/refillable applesauce pouches for sale somewhere, Amazon I think. But how in the world do you get them clean inside?

  3. Is it weird and creepy to let you know that your blog posts – I dunno – I just really have missed them. I’m glad I wasn’t the one to guilt you, but I am happy to look forward to nearly a month of posts!

    I’ve been trying to think of ways to send my kids to school with better – ish food and less waste. But truly? Both of them have been known to throw away reusable lunch bags, more than once!! And my youngest deals with some anxiety at lunch time especially, so it needs to be easy and routine for him. Still thinking.

    Anyhow! I’m sorry you are hanging on by a thread. I understand the anger stuff ( I used to have five kids at home and attempted to home school them).

    This summer I’ve been dealing with waiting for a dryer part ( which means hanging laundry outside to dry ) a broken foot and now! now my oven is not heating up. :/ ( the stove and bottom oven still work, thank goodness – knock on wood ).

    Anyway, hang on to that thread!

  4. SUPER excited i’ll have posts to wake up to each morning, girl! and i gotta say…if i had ANY idea i had that much pull around here i would have said something ages ago!!! 🙂

    xo

  5. I used to have the tender head thing…turns out it was high blood pressure. I mentioned it to my doctor and she noticed my blood pressure had been elevated the last couple of visits. I now take a very low dose of bp meds and I don’t have that problem any more.
    Also, can make applesauce in the crockpot super easy.
    Also, also, I have missed your daily posts but know you have a lot going on 🙂

  6. Also under the “if you don’t want to no problem” but making mixed apple sauce is just putting cut apples in a pot and cooking until they boil soft in their own water. Add any other fruit in when the apples are about as soft as the fruit is. When it’s all soft, blend it up and freeze. The more different kinds of apples involved, the better it generally tastes for some reason.

  7. Yea, homemade applesauce is actually the easiest thing ever (just don’t tell everyone else that!). ESPECIALLY if you have a food mill because then you don’t even have to peel them first! Chop, toss in crock pot with some liquid and a bit of sugar. Cook and then run through the food mill. Done. And it’s so good still warm. : )

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