It’s that time of year again where I’m surrounded by piles of used tissues and speaking with my sexy smoker voice of years past. I only suffer from bad allergies for a few weeks in early Spring every year, but man…DO I SUFFER. I do better if I keep a constant supply of Zyrtec in my system…but “better” is so relative.
But I’m kinda sick of feeling crappy. And that goes beyond the last week of allergies. It goes to the last three weeks of stress with this new challenge we now face in our lives, now that Donnie has decided not to try to move with his company, and instead look for a local job for the summer after this office closes. I’ve been wallowing in ice cream and potato chips and Easter candy for the last three weeks.
Every day, I keep doing it, coping with my anxiety in potato chips and allergy medicine…because part of me seeks comfort in the eating of all of the desserts. Or all of the fast food. Or all of the pizza. You know, whatever is there.
That’s why I keep doing it even though much later I feel much worse…the immediate comfort of sticking 3 Cadbury Creme eggs in my piehole is irresistible.
And that’s why, whenever I get in a conversation about food/diet/weightloss with people I always say: “My only probablem is my inability to process emotion without food.”
Because it is! I exercise! I make good decisions when I’m not emotional! I don’t keep junk around the house! But man…one negative stimulus in my life (or several, as is the case right now)…and I toss out all good decisions and behaviors for the comfort of an extra large order of french fries from Wendy’s.
Anyway! Today I’m going to try to do better! Which – honestly – is how I wake up every day. And then the stress or the sadness or the anxiety hits and BAM! MY FACE IS IN MY FOURTH BOWL OF CEREAL.
But Today! Today will be different. The weather is better so I’m going to try to take my laptop outside and get some work done while soaking up some Vitamin D. I’m going to try to center myself more today around my work, my life, and my upcoming Stage Race. Focus on getting my body clean and ready for 3 days of running…focus on my work…on my family…and try my BEST to focus today on processing the anxiety in more positive ways. And maybe steer clear of the Easter Candy aisle when I run to get groceries later.