If you are local or if you follow me on instagram or Twitter, places I tend to document the mundane in my life more than I do on here, then you know what Sunday Dinners are in my life. But, for those of you unaware – Donnie’s parents and brother and sister all live here in Huntsville, and every Sunday we eat dinner together. We rotate houses every week, and every Sunday we gather together as a family and share a meal.
This started after Nikki was born, more as an excuse to gather and hang with the new member of the family, but it stuck as the family grew to add significant others and three more grandchildren.
The funny thing is, I tend to be the pushiest about it. It’s not even my biological family, but I’m the one that has pushed it to stay a dependable thing, even when maybe life has pushed us to drop it to once a month instead of once a week. Nope, Kim is the one that get’s all chocked up and weepy at the mere thought of missing it.
This is ALL relevant because – as of last week – we started considering the possibility of leaving Huntsville.
I won’t bore you with the details, but sometime last week we found out that Donnie’s company was going to be closing the Huntsville office. The “hope” was that they’d be offering to move some people to New Hampshire. But in reality? We knew nothing. There may be no job offers elsewhere, but we still had to consider the possibility of moving 20 hours away…just in case it was an option.
This was weighing heavy on my heart this last Sunday when dinner was held at our house. We always gather together and pray before the meal, because not everyone in our family are heathens like we are. We let Nikki and Wes say the blessing they learned in preschool, and then we say the typical Catholic blessing we’ve all been saying our whole lives. We hold hands in a circle around the kitchen and give thanks. We’ve always joked with visitors that we are a 2-blessing family, “Don’t assume we’re done after the first ‘Amen’ – THERE WILL BE MORE!”
We’ve been trying to encourage my nephew to sing his blessing that they sing at HIS preschool, to varying degrees of success the last few weeks. This week, we encouraged him again and he did it, no questions asked. We all sang his song, then we all said my kid’s blessing, and then we said the old Catholic blessing.
We are officially a 3-blessing family, now.
And I did everything I could not to cry.
How can I leave my 3-blessing Sunday dinners?
We got more details of the work situation yesterday and we’ll get even more today, but we have had a lot of long talks about it. And it tends to always come back to me crying about leaving our family.
For someone who is traditional in about zero ways, I have a weird attachment to my Sunday dinners. They just represent so much to me, more than I can even put into words. But our 3-blessing family is a support network beyond compare and I’m weirdly attached to it, and sometimes I feel like the sheltered country girl, scared to live in the big city.
We are lucky that we have a forgiving timeline to make a decision. And I’m lucky that my husband, although not as emotionally insane as I am, completely values our 3-blessing family. Being a part of our niece’s and nephew’s life every week, being a day-trip away from my Mom and from E, being 3 blessings away from sharing a meal with family…those things carry a lot of weight for him as well, and for that I’m blessed. He may not be crying like I am every time we discuss it, but he knows that it carries a value beyond money.
This will be an insane few months for us, no matter what decision we make in the next few days. And I’ll probably cry every day, only stopping to inhale pints of ice cream.
Because, while I can live without Sunday dinners with my 3-blessing family, it’s not a sacrifice we would make easily.
I have five kids. One is married and lives about an hour away. One has a great nursing job at a wonderful hospital in the city – about 35 minutes away. We have two still living at home and one away at college – about to graduate in May.
But she isn’t coming home. She’s moving to her beau’s home state where she eventually wants to start a farm.
We have lived here our entire lives ( give or take a few “escapes”) and the thought of my grandchildren being born and raised 8 hours away – breaks my heart. It’s been on my mind a ton. It makes me sad ( even as I am so happy for and proud of her ). We could move closer to her, but then we leave behind two others. And other than the weather? I love where we live and I am so averse to change ( it’s in my DNA.bI’m an Aspie).
Anyhow, long self-in comment to say, I understand you pain and dilemma and heartache.
I’ll join you in that ice cream.
I hope a happy solution presents it self to you guys.
<3
so many typos 🙁
My life has been the opposite. My husband is retiring from the Air Force late next spring and we are so excited that we can actually CHOOSE where we want to live. I would LOVE to move back to my home state of PA, but unless we both land awesome jobs, that’s not going to happen. Since we lost our dad, my sisters and I have begun to form a bond and I really want to nurture it. We are the only ones who make a trip to visit and driving from FL to PA/NY is getting old. I want to be closer. I want my kids to know their cousins and I want to be involved with my family. I doubt it will happen, but we are definitely getting out of FL.
And I don’t want to live anywhere near my mother.
Man. That stinks. I grew up living in one house, never had to change schools, and had an extended network of family very close by. Even back then I knew I was lucky, but I didn’t understand HOW lucky until I joined the military and was exposed to other lifestyles and experienced moving around every few years. I’m so happy that you don’t take your 3-blessing dinners for granted, but sad at the thought of you losing them. Whatever happens, whatever decisions you make, just know that you have people who care about you and are cheering for you. And can I get a big HOORAY for technology? I am able to stay in touch so much better nowadays and I don’t know what I’d do without it. Big hugs all around.
Thoughts are with your family as you face big decisions… many many cyber hugs. I cant imagine moving more than 30 miles from my current location!
And to the commenter whose daughter is moving 8 hrs away… I will say this…my in-laws are 6hrs away. Ever since we have had babies we made it a priority to make the trip to my husbands hometown a minimum of 6 times a year and we skype every single sunday. We know my husband chose to move here so the “burden” of travel we feel is on us.
Melanie – yeah, when she is done with school she will be eight hours away. Currently she is fourteen hours away! We are all driving down to watch her graduate. And she’s been home a few times and we’ve been to visit once.
But when babies start coming? Goodness, she’ll have to beat me away with a stick. 😉
Facing change like that is terrifying for me, so I can relate. Hoping for the best possible resolution for you all.
I’ve done big moves to places where I know almost no one twice now, and it’s actually made me closer to my family. Of course, they were both when I was single and childless. The decision making process would be different now. New Hampshire is pretty awesome though. You’d never lack for good hikes!
Good god, sometimes I think we lead parallel lives. We moved to Minnesota which I hated at first because WINTER but I love being close to my husband’s family. I love that my daughter has her cousins nearby and that I can talk with my sister-in-law whenever. We don’t have traditions per se but we do like to get together for dinners and whatnot, and let the kids run around. But WINTERS. I look back at my blog posts and all I’ve done for the last 5 months was to whine about how much I hated winters in Minnesota. We’re now considering a move to Texas (I know, I know) but it’s breaking my heart to uproot our family to a place where we don’t have family. My heart goes out to you – I truly hope everything works out to your – and your family’s – benefit.
this is a hard one, girl…no way around it.
the one thing i’ll say is this…if y’all do find that moving to NH is the best decision for your family…don’t only look at it as the family you’re leaving behind, but also that you’re on your way to meet the new “family” you’ll create and love for years to come.
speaking as someone who has left “home” about 3 times now, the sadness is definitely there for the people missing in your daily life…but there is also ALWAYS much happiness in the future coming your way. you just don’t know how it will look yet…but it will be awesome!
xo
Yeah – but that’s where Geography carries weight too. We’d move to the Pacific Northwest no problem! But to head some place that gets REAL winters that are LONG, AND move further away from every person in our family? That’s where the decision shifts to the, “take the gamble and hope we find a job here” side of the spectrum. Because, while I believe would could hopefully find a community, I don’t believe that community would help me embraces winters 30-50 degrees colder than they get here 😉