We’ve had a weird week. Actually, life in general has been weird for awhile. There are just a lot of variables for our future floating in the air and periodically they settle in to point one direction, or another, and I panic if it doesn’t fit EXACTLY what I want for my life.
On Monday I started panicking and immediately went to the store and bought some Ben & Jerry’s and ate it all in ONE sitting.
I wrote here first about how coping with food is one of the least-destructive ways to cope, on the grand scheme of things. Especially for a long-distance runner.
But that came out sounding like: “BETTER ICE CREAM THAT HEROIN!”
And – you know – I’m not sure if that’s the message I’m trying to relay to my blog OR to myself.
But – there it is. Once again, the crutch I lean on the most. These last two weeks I’ve been leaning on it more, partly because I’ve been tired and I eat when I’m tired, but partly because we have real stress in our lives (unlike the self-inflicted stress that hits me most weeks) and this is just me…this is how I cope. I avoid the nightly beers but I pick up the ice cream.
And you know? Some days you just have to be kind to yourself and say, “This is what I need right now. The negative side-effects are not as destructive as other behaviors. Especially as a distance runner. Not ideal…but I’m also not going to beat myself up about it when we have real stress in our lives.”
So, yes. I ate a whole pint of ice cream in about 20 minutes. And then there were more feelings to be eaten throughout the day. The ice cream was just the pinnacle.
But sometimes that happens. And sometimes that’s okay.
Yesterday was a good day. I had a good workout, I ate well. I’m going to try to spend more time patting myself on that back for that, and less time beating myself up over the ice cream on Monday. Or the french fries on Tuesday.
Because sometimes we just need to be kind to ourselves. And that’s the thing I need to work on the most. Especially in the face of uncertainty.
Be kind to yourself today. You’re okay.