YESTERDAY WAS A DAY.
And I wrote a post this morning about how I wished I could be angry online and be passive aggressive but I can’t because it’s not the footprint I want to leave and then I published it and then I realized:
You are stupid. That post about NOT being passive aggressive was the most passive aggressive post in the world. You are dumb. Go away.
I ate a lot. I worried about my kid and emailed teachers about incidents at school. I felt guilty for not being able to fund all the extracurricular activities my kids want or need. Especially my oldest who I feel deserves it for so many reasons. I ate some more.
I took down the passive aggressive post about not being passive aggressive and am putting this one up instead.
Yesterday was ugly.
I hope today will be better.
Let’s all hug each other, okay? Let’s remember that at any moment a child or a Mom or an uncle or a neighbor or a cashier or a boss just might be on the brink of tears. Anyone you encounter today could be having A DAY…the kind where they’re trying their best not to cry. Or not to punch things. Or not to post angry passive aggressive rants on their blog. And all of those people need hugs, but hugging strangers is not acceptable. Especially since there are a lot of people who hate hugs.
So, instead. Let’s give them a smile. Or a compliment. Maybe make a joke standing in line about how this weather is CRAZY and is it Spring or Winter? Laugh louder than you should because sometimes walking away with an experience with the crazy loud laughing lady at Target can brighten someone’s day.
(At least that’s what I’m telling myself.)
Let’s just be kind. Because everyone has those days once in awhile.
9 thoughts on “BLURGH.”
I know you don’t know me from Adam, but I’ve been reading your blog since my son was small (he’s 8) and I was casually waking up, checking my email and reading your blog posts (since I get them in my email) and I actually jumped out of bed to respond to you.
Girl, you have got to get that rage out. I read that post and it broke my heart. I am one of those people who posts “rants”, I speak up when someone is pulling my chain and I say what is on my mind and you know what? I am cool as a cucumber 98% of the time.
Personally, I believe that this is more than just not wanting to spread negativity. This is because women (anyone who is part of the minority) get that message programmed into them from a young age. “Don’t be angry, keep your negativity to yourself, don’t be assertive.”
Bunch of hogwash.
My son who is in 2nd grade has gone through your daughter’s EXACT same experience here in Texas and I ranted about it. I didn’t say, “Hey, all you !@#$%^& who are Christian can suck it.” lol. I just expressed my outrage at the situation of how it hurt my son when he’s a good boy. I had a lot of Christians actually speak up at dismay at their community’s behavior. I spoke to his school and to his after-school care and it was immediately addressed and taken care of.
We had a situation with kids using “gay” as a derogatory term as well. Which was similarly addressed and taken care of.
Life isn’t butterflies and roses and while you don’t have to go around shooting up the place with venom there is nothing wrong with having a voice and showing outrage. You are a kind woman and I’m sure everyone knows it. But every friend or relative I know who always tries to be positive at ALL TIMES are eaten up with anxiety, get hurt by other people’s actions and because they don’t stand up for themselves they do double-duty and hurt themselves further. I used to be the same way.
I used to have all this anxiety and worry, thought I should be agreeable so people would like me. I don’t know what changed but in some point in time I just thought, “why am I doing this to myself? If people don’t like me because I react to their bad behavior … well, that’s their problem.” I’m no longer binging on ice cream and bags of chips as a way to eat my emotions, either. 🙂
I’m not a jerk, I’m actually a really nice person. But that doesn’t mean that people should be able to walk all over me and do things that are wrong. And if I speak up about it – it doesn’t make me the bad guy.
When I found my voice the world didn’t suddenly become a terrible place. Sometimes a little outrage is warranted and needed.
And, it’s not a case of “either, or”. I still laugh and make jokes OFTEN and I don’t hold a grudge when someone has done wrong. There is middle ground.
My boyfriend goes through this. He has yet to find a way to express himself and what ends up happening is that he loses his shit in a totally inappropriate way when it builds up inside him. Usually against people that have nothing to do with the problem.
Rather than thinking of it as being negative… think of it has having boundaries and holding firm on those boundaries. 🙂
I am glad you have contacted the school about what Nikki is going through because it is clearly bullying at this point. There is no need for her to go through this day after day!
I wish I could like Jenn D’s post 1000x!!!! You are a smart, wonderful woman. It’s impossible to have a solid opinion based on your thoughts and feelings on any issue and not offend someone, no matter how you state it or how careful you are on what you “put out” into the world. It’s not your job to tip-toe around others’ feelings. What a minefield! Some of my very best friends disagree with me on politics and/or religion. It makes life rich to have those conversations with friends where we will never see eye-to-eye. Those that don’t have the emotional intelligence to listen and discuss differences aren’t worth it: ie – not friends. Who cares about the rest? You can’t be friends with everyone – ain’t nobody got time for that! Hugs for you and Nikki!
For clarity though – you’re doing the right thing for Nikki! Meant to say that :). She is clearly being bullied.
I didn’t see the original post, but I get the gist of it. Here’s what a wise woman (my meemaw) told me many years ago. Bad behavior is ALWAYS unacceptable. If some one is acting badly, it has NOTHING to do with you, it is all about them. Bad behavior is ALWAYS unacceptable no matter the circumstances or personalities. Period.
Hang in there. Be good to yourself as well as to others. Stand up when you need to. Hugs!
Many, many hugs, friend. I hope things are better. I am constantly in awe of how awesome you truly are, and I know I’m not alone in that regard.
But MAN I want some donuts now.