Maybe This Will Stop Me From Eating My Feelings

I’ve had a stressful week. I’m holding in a lot of ranting because I don’t like spewing negative energy into the world but OH MY GOD…I have been EATING ALL OF MY FEELINGS for three days. We’re talking about 3 days of 5000 calories or more. I’m telling you – I take my binge eating very seriously.

I think I need to let it out. I’ve let a bit out here and there, mainly on Twitter, but I think I just need to unload my stress so I can maybe try to eat LESS than a week’s worth of calories in one day. Also? It’s 3am and I’ve been up for 45 minutes already. I’m not sleeping well either. So…as much as I hate to add negativity out in the interwebs where there’s plenty already, and as much as I hate to complain about all of my first-world problems, I think I need to LET IT OUT or I may lose my mind.

The Queen Of First World Problems

We are already living on a NO-ROOM-FOR-SURPRISES Budget until we sell our house and we’ve had several unexpected expenses this month. A stupid service charge from Comcast which we’re trying to fight but we can’t even quit their service because no one else can give us the service we need to allow me to work from home. E got invited by his bestie to escort her to a debutant ball so we need to rent him a tux. (He’s working, but he needs that money for college.) Donnie’s car’s transmission crapped out this week. E’s laptop died. Donnie’s been having to go to PT at $25/visit twice a week. I mean – ALL OF THIS IN DECEMBER. When we’re already trying to make Christmas work (which we budget ahead of time a little bit) on a tight budget. I WANT TO CRY ALL OF THE TEARS. I actually used a gift card given to me for presents. I mean – TOTALLY #firstworldproblems: Oh! I had to use the gift card for someone else insted of me! – but STILL – SO STRESSFUL.

Stop Pooping On Joy Part 40 Million

Someone ranted on Facebook yesterday about how “Love Actually” is NOT the best Christmas movie ever and they continued to tear it apart scene by scene. LISTEN. STOP POOPING ON PEOPLE’S HARMLESS JOY. The Pooping On the Elf On The Shelf has been making me cranky daily, but SERIOUSLY? People loving a MOVIE is affecting your life HOW, exactly? I mean, if you don’t understand why people like something either A) Rant someplace where people you like won’t get their feelings hurt, C) Express your differing opinion softly, without insulting those who like it: “I don’t like that thing that everyone else likes. But I can’t claim great taste because I lurve me some Beiber.” B) Just don’t rant about it because WHO CARES?

I mean – like I said on Twitter – I didn’t really like Seinfeld when it was on. It just wasn’t my type of show. And I got SNARKY about it and self-righteous and this was just in my group of friends. Not on FB. And finally someone kinda quietly said, “I like that show.” And I felt AWFUL. I realized that I was like, “I just don’t get it. That show is so dumb. Oh my god. How do people like it.” And BAM! Someone in that room liked it and I totally hurt their feelings. JEEZUS, PEOPLE. Opinions are NOT FACT. No one can REALLY prove what is the best Christmas movie ever. SO STOP ARGUING ABOUT IT. BAH! (Someone sent me a link to this video which has some NSFW audio but is SPOT ON.)

This Is Not About Freedom Of Speech

Okay. And the last one. The one that I saw first thing when I woke up this morning and have since decided to stay the HELL away from Facebook today: Getting Fired For Publicly Saying Something That Might Hurt The Bottom Line Of The Business That Employees You Is Not Infringing On Your Freedom Of Speech. It Is Actually CAPITALISM. It’s A Business Responding To Consumers Which Is What They Are Supposed To Do If You Are A Fan Of Capitalism.

I mean, come on! I have people in my life who I would DIE for – that’s how close they are to me – and they are gay. It is NO SECRET that I do not tolerate ignorance or hatred towards the LGBT community. This is an issue near and dear to me because I would do anything in my power to help my gay friends and family achieve happiness and equality. BUT THIS IS NOT ABOUT THAT. This rant is about everyone posting about this like it’s a freedom-of-speech issue. BAH.

Edited to add: I had a graphic here that I edited that had me getting totally snarky about people posting about this like it’s a Freedom of Speech issue. I sent that graphic to twitter where someone promptly told me to “off myself”. Therefore, I removed that graphic from this blog because while I stand by my words – this is NOT a freedom of speech issue – I also don’t like people telling me to kill myself. So, you know…I’m censoring myself. DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?

So! I’ll be avoiding Facebook until this passes because I don’t want to unfriend people before Christmas. I don’t want to know who is going to “Stand By Phil” and his ignorant statements about people I love. If you stand by Phil? You do NOT stand by me and my loved ones. And that would break my heart, so I’d rather not know where you’re standing at all. In my head every one of my friends supports my gay family wholeheartedly – I’d like to keep the dream alive. I’m hoping this ignorance will allow me to avoid more binge eating today.

Actually…I’m just going to avoid social media of all types today. It won’t help my money issues, but it will help my anger when people poop on innocent joy, and it will help my anger when people vocalize their support for someone who publicly criticizes people I would die for.

If anything happens I need to know about. Just pop over here and let me know. Thanks. Otherwise? I’ll be in LaLa Land where everyone lets people like whatever crappy things they like – without persecution; and NO ONE supports people who publicly vocalize ignorant views about groups of people I love.

7 thoughts on “Maybe This Will Stop Me From Eating My Feelings”

  1. I am so sorry you are feeling stressed! I have no deep thoughts or wisdom to share (I haven’t had my coffee yet!) but instead want to wish you a very happy holiday season and let you know you have a friend up in Wisconsin who is in your corner and understands these first world problems!

  2. Ya gotta let it out. Sometimes it’s the only way – if you write it, you can get rid of it – to paraphrase Hemingway.

  3. I, too, understand these first world problems and am feeling some of them myself. I am sorry you are stressed. I know our society views this as the happiest time of the year, but I find it to be the saddest and most stressful and usually just have to try to get through it. So I understand.

  4. I’m a Canadian and even I know that Phil thing is not a freedom of speech issue. He said something insulting and stupid and his employers didn’t like it….they are punishing him for it (& the government isn’t repressing his right to say it), end of story. What he said made me stabby too. I wish I could point out to all Americans that we’ve had over 7 years of legal marriage equality in this country and no heterosexual marriages have suffered as a result and our children’s minds aren’t being corrupted. Life goes on as usual. In fact it’s better for me, because I’ve gotten to enjoy a few extra weddings out of it 😀

  5. AcK: stress. Yes, I can feel those feels. :hugs: I think all of your writing today made a lot of sense, if that matters. Why do we allow extra stressful things to occur in December anyways? I feel like it should be a time-out period or something.

  6. It’s 9:11am and I have my hand in a bag of kettle cooked potato chips as I eat feelings. I’m a big feelings eater. If I could stop eating my feelings I’d be so badass in a bikini. If I wore one, I mean.

    Last week I had a day where I had to get off all social media because I kept blinking at it. Like, sitting there, reading something someone posted or agreed with, and just stared. Blinking my eyes because I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Sometimes people’s stupidity comes out in full color on social media. I have to avoid the stupid before my visceral responses come out and start slapping people in the face.

  7. I know I’m late commenting on this one but I was listening to the radio today and hearing about the Methodist minister who just got “defrocked” (or fired) because he went against church teaching and performed the marriage ceremony for his gay son. The church hierarchy gave him the chance to say that he would abide by all church teachings (including that marriage was for a man and woman only) and he said that he wanted to remain a Methodist minister but he couldn’t agree to support the anti-gay teaching of the church. So they fired him. Sad, but that’s their choice, right? So… why isn’t Sarah Palin saying THIS is a freedom of speech issue? Same deal as Phil, right? Someone says something that his employer doesn’t agree with, and he gets fired. Of course this isn’t about freedom of speech, but neither is the Duck guy’s suspension.

Leave a Reply