Arthur Pendragon Will Not Be Knighting Anyone In This Family Any Time Soon

You know how your kids play and fight and scream all the time and even though sometimes the screams are bad and someone is probably hurt you ignore it and they eventually calm down because they’re just freakin’ drama queens who scream bloody murder at everything?

Yeah. Well, sometimes they come downstairs crying and you’re rolling your eyes because…Oh my god. Not again. Why must every scrape and bruise require such drama and screaming? Why are my kids such wusses? I’m trying to work here and they just don’t understand and…


As soon as I turned around from my desk yesterday to look at a crying Wes, my heart stopped. His face was COVERED in blood. Well, his face and his hand which was covering his eye. I pulled his hand away and all I saw was blood burying his eyeball. I grabbed him up, took him to the bathroom and tried to get him cleaned up the best I could. I called his pediatrician who said, “Take him to the ER.” His eyelid turned purple in seconds, I couldn’t tell where the blood was coming from because he wouldn’t let me dig, and his eyeball was just red and bloodshot and I couldn’t tell what was damage and what was reaction.

We ripped off his bloody clothes, wrapped up an ice pack, and headed to the pediatric ER.

AFTER dropping off Nikki at the in-law’s of course. There was no way I was going to deal with both of them if I could avoid it.


Long story…um…not quite as long as it could be? Several scratches on his cornea. Like 3-4 “severe” ones and 3+ mild ones. They put this glowing stuff on his eyeball so I could see and it looked insane. It looked like someone had taken a scouring pad to his eye.

“So…how did this happen again?”
“Sword fight. He had a nerf sword, his sister had a broomstick.”
“Which end of the broom did she hit him with?”
“The handle because she had detached bristle part to make it a more useful weapon. They’ve been watching too much Merlin, you see…”

We went to an ophthalmologist at the recommendation of the ER doctor. Wes was SUCH A trooper during the entire time. He read the eye chart, used the scope thingy so they could look at his eye. Final decision? He needed a plastic surgeon to look at him. He has two cuts on his eyelid, one that may scar, so they want a plastic surgeon to look at it to see if they need to stitch it up. However, due to the nature of stitching an eyelid, this would actually be a “surgical procedure” and require some level of sedation.


SO! This morning he gets no food/drink and we meet with her at 7:30am. I’m almost positive she’ll send us on our way. The cut is scary, and it bled a lot, but it’s still so tiny. I can’t see why, even if the entire wound became scar tissue, we should be concerned. But – in case you guys are unaware – I am not a doctor.

The whole thing was pretty intense. I know that head injuries bleed a lot, way more than you feel like they should, but eyelid injuries? HOLY SHITBALLS. Bloody face to the EXTREME. It was insane. I close my eyes and I just see him and blood streaming out of his eye and I get a little woozy.

Here’s a funny tidbit. I was wearing my Justice League t-shirt during the entire ordeal. Because I am a geek who works from home and that’s our uniform. And it occurred to me that most of my regular daywear is either A) Workout clothes or B) Geek clothes. And everytime I spoke to another medical professional I thought, “Jeez. Maybe there’s something to owning a bit more grown-up clothing…you know…for emergencies.”

Oh well…I thought it actually worked out quite well since he was donning his Avengers shirt. We were basically representing the big forces in the comic book empire…LIKE YOU DO.


She feels bad. But only a little bad because she’s 7 and all 7-year olds are sociopaths. I have told her 100 times I understand it was an accident…but…she was doing something she should not have been doing. I mean – I’m all for sparing someone’s feelings but this is TEXTBOOK LESSON TEACHING EXAMPLE here. Someone almost lost an eye! If I can’t use this as a real-world lesson-teaching moment, what can I use it for? As a matter of fact – I encourage you all to use it too. The next time your kids are swordfighting with dangerous objects, tell them about Wesley who almost lost an eye doing the SAME THING. It will be the next Boy Who Cried Wolf.

But leave off the part about how his mother was ignoring his cries because she feels like her kids are big babies who cry at every little scrape and bruise. I don’t need that part being memorialized.

14 thoughts on “Arthur Pendragon Will Not Be Knighting Anyone In This Family Any Time Soon”

  1. Years ago Janet’s Shiba Inu ripped my puppy’s eyelid. Poor Fritz did need stitches so the lid would heal correctly and close correctly. I sure hope Wes will be okay, and not need it done, but if so, then I know the plastics doc will do her job ok.
    PS: I hope you don’t mind that I compared my puppy to Wes. An eyelid cut is really dangerous to both child and doggy alike. Good luck!

  2. Hoping he has a speedy recovery and wont need stitches…poor Wes and poor you for dealing with that

  3. What a scary ordeal!! I hate that you & Wes had this awful scare…but your writing is seriously hysterical and I loved reading about it. “All 7 year olds are sociopaths”….my new favorite line. SO much truth.

  4. I feel so bad for Wes which by the way is my favorite name for a boy. I have one.

    Can you warn us next time eyeball alert. I’m over here in the corner crying and shaking. Eyballs=my kryponite.

    All kids are dramatic as you say. At time we figure not a big deal because of the drama they have . There are times looking back on thinks you played off as no big deal you think was a douche I was for not taking it seriously. I think 90% of the times you worry the child is just on a drama kick.

    One more thing. Eyeball cornea scratches heal super fast. he will be good as new by the weekend. no patching required. My little ding dong scratched his eye with a corn chip. Guess how long we let him moan about it. Three hours. Went to urgent care as it was closing. Had a knarly scratch which the nurse practioner was excited about. I was hiding int he corner. Again eyeballs. Blech. He was good by the next night.

    Hoping your week gets better and no stitches required.

  5. OMG! Fingers crossed for no stitches! Kids recover so quickly! It’s the parents who take forever to get over it πŸ™‚

  6. OMG. Eyeball anything is the worst! I’m totally letting my 10 year old read this whole post. I hope Wes is better soon!

  7. I have so much sympathy for you. ugh. My 4 year old pushed my 2 year old into the entertainment center and she got 5 stitches on her forehead. So much blood, but I wasn’t freaked out. I knew she’d need stitches and be okay. If it had been in the eye area, I would have freaked the eff out.

    My 4 year old freaked out and kept saying she’d killed Clara, and they’d never get to play again. Almost endearing except her hysterics would make my almost calm 2 year old start crying again.

    I was wearing workout pants, a sports bra and a deep deep v t-shirt hoodie meant to give the girls ventilation. Not at all professional, I bet at the ER they’re just glad you’re wearing clothes.

    I hope he heals quickly. And good job not panicking. I would have panicked.

  8. I saw the picture on instagram. I hope he’s doing better today and will be okay. Keep is posted about the surgery. Big hugs

  9. Oh My… It’s the scratches to the eye that scare me. This has been the summer of ‘sand in the eye’ and I am just holding my breath. I didn’t know they could be something you just let heal. (I was traumatized by a scratched eye horror story as a teen.) I’m so glad Wes will be ok.

  10. That story makes me queasy, too. Until I got to the line about all 7-year-olds being sociopaths. So now I’m queasy and laughing inappropriately πŸ™‚

  11. Only YOU could make me giggle reading a blog post about an eye injury, with mention of blood and everything. Saw your FB update and glad surgery went well πŸ™‚

  12. he is so lucky he lives in the time he does when stuff like this can so easily be taken care of! when i was 5, my little brother snapped a plastic ruler in half, in my face, and a shard of plastic sliced my cornea. i have a scar that can’t be seen but it caused my left eye to be permanently “legally blind” its blurry no matter what. they did not have any medical procedures available to fix it when i was young and now it would basically require a cornea transplant.

    i still don’t let my brother live that down.

    i am glad that his surgery went well! i was reading your updates backwards on my rss reader. this is part of motherhood i am not looking forward to.

  13. you completely get a trophy for even being able to deal with that yourself. i would have been calling the neighbor saying you have to come and deal with this for me because I can not. also bring valium.

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