Whine.

Seriously. Don’t Read This Post.

At least if you’re a boy. Seriously. If you’re a boy this will be too much for you and feel free to come back tomorrow when I talk about my new favorite TV shows.

Or, if you’re a woman who does not want to hear about the nightmare it is living with my reproductive system, feel free to turn away.

I am writing this entry because I don’t feel like my husband truly understands the misery I’ve been living this week so I need to tell other people (WOMEN) who will hear this and give me the, “Oh…hon. Bless your heart…” I’ve been needing.

But seriously. I’m going to be as delicate as possible but my endometriosis and fibroids have been making my live beyond miserable this week and it’s not pretty. This your last chance to turn away. TURN AWAY!

So, in reality, uterine fibroids and endometriosis both cause reproductive misery. Anyone who suffers from either deserves a huge hug. Although, menorrhagia (extremely heaving menstrual bleeding) tends to be associated with fibroids and the severe pain (including pain for the 2 weeks before menstruation) tends to be associated with endometriosis. Since I have been diagnosed with both, it tends to blend together for me. (AWESOME.)

Since my miscarriage and D&C last summer, I feel like every menstrual cycle has been worse than the one before. This is why we’re moving forward with the ablation. (First appointment? July 17th, hopefully we’ll schedule the procedure soon after!) But this month has reached new levels of awful.

First of all – before these last few months it’s always been the pain that keeps me home. The menorrhagia sucks, but the pain sucks worse. But since the miscarriage? The bleeding started becoming worse than the pain. And the pain didn’t subside at all, the bleeding just got worse.

For those of you wondering what the exact definition of menorrhagia is, here’s a good one, “A normal menstrual cycle is 25–35 days in duration, with bleeding lasting an average of 5 days and total blood flow between 25 and 80 mL. A blood loss of greater than 80 ml or lasting longer than 7 days constitutes menorrhagia.” For those of you not fluent in menstruation blood flow, a tampon holds about 5ml. So, a normal period would – just using basic math – use anywhere from 5-16 tampons over the course of a 5-7 day cycle. I’ve used more than that for 10 years. To me, that doesn’t even sound like a period.

But these last few months? It’s been ridiculous. I used to have one day where I used a tampon every hour. That’s bad. That’s menorrhagic. After the miscarriage? That increased to 2 days. And then the last few months the hour decreased. I stopped being able to even go an hour without a backup pad to go with my tampon. Let’s not discuss how many races I had to run this year with a pad and a tampon because I’m lucky enough to have settled into a 28 day cycle where the worse days were always Saturdays. BAH. (My cycle has stretched a bit now, thank god.) This month though? 20 minutes. TWENTY MINUTES. For three days now I’ve had to be prepared for a bathroom trip every 20 minutes. Now, that’s not all day. All day I’m still at about an hour. But for 2-3 hours once or twice a day I can’t leave the house. And I don’t know when that’s coming. I can just feel it. THREE DAYS I’ve basically been trapped in my home. I had to leave yesterday to take Nikki to the doctor and ended up making a big mess of myself because I had to stop and get an Rx for her on the way home and misjudged my timeline.

TWENTY MINUTES.

Last night I went through four super plus tampons in under 2 hours. I was crying about this to Donnie and he was as sympathetic as he could be, “That sounds awful…” but, you know, he just doesn’t get it. Which is why I had to vent here. I need someone to feel REALLY SORRY FOR ME. I know! That’s so selfish! But, dammit, I’m sitting on towels everywhere I go! I’m doing a load of my own laundry a day! I’ve gone through FOUR BOXES OF TAMPONS in the last 10 days because. TWENTY MINUTES. I feel like I just need to say that over and over again. TWENTY MINUTES. That’s how fast I’m going through tampons. There have been several times in the last 3 days where I’ve bled over 20 mL in 2 hours. When the “average” period ranges from 25mL-80mL for the ENTIRE CYCLE. I’m certain I’ve come close to 80mL a day for the last 3 days. If someone tested me now I’m certain I’d be anemic. I have no energy. I’m depressed. I JUST WANT THIS PERIOD TO BE OVER WITH ALREADY.

The good thing is? I work from home now. I can do my job. I used to work in an office and if it was this bad I would just not go into work. I also can take regular baths and use a heating pad and wearing gross clothes I don’t mind messing up. But seriously. MISERY. Every morning I’ve woken up thinking surely TODAY it lightens up some and I’m hopeful for today. Three heavy days is the most I’ve ever suffered through, I’m praying things are better today. But who the hell knows. It’s like my reproductive system knows I’m getting ready to burn the SHIT out of it with an ablation and it wants to treat me to one or two REALLY DREADFUL months before hand, to make sure I’m truly comfortable with my decision.

So…thank you for letting me whine. I’m sorry if I grossed you out. I’m hoping anyone who would be grossed out stopped reading early on.

July 17th. We’ll talk to the doctor, get a checkup, see where we’re at and come up with a plan that starts with an ablation and possibly ends with me yanking out my reproductive system with some BBQ tongs.

(Too much?)

Either way – by the end of the summer I will hopefully get to live a normal life again. One not trapping me in my home for several days a month. One not involving toxic levels of ibuprofen and 6 outfit changes in one day.

41 thoughts on “Seriously. Don’t Read This Post.”

  1. I don’t usually comment but wanted to put in my “I’m SO SO sorry, that sounds absolutely terrible.”
    I also wanted to suggest using a cup instead of a tampon? Since you’re probably already used to the site of blood, emptying a cup would be easy. I find that it holds a lot more blood than a tampon. While you would probably still need to empty it every 2-3 hours it might be a solution? Also, its reusable, so you’d spend less money on tampons… I have been using the Diva cup and really like it. You can DM me on twitter if you want more TMI details. 😉 (@braziliancakes). Hang in there!

  2. I feel for you. I do. I did not have to live with the reproductive issues, nor the 10 years of awfulness like you, but in the last two years, I did live with the excruciating pain and the every 20 minute tampon changes for a day or two of my cycle. This year was awful because I went back to work after 17 years at home, and I am a TEACHER! I would have to call someone, or ask the next door teacher to stand between doors and watch both classes while I ran to the restroom. it was embarrassing and humiliating. I ruined more clothes than I even want to think about. I had my ablation done in March and it changed my life. I hope and pray the same for you. Bug hugs to you for dealing with this so bravely for so long.

  3. Holy shit. I knew I was lucky, but goddamn. My periods are generally three days of light spotting. Like, so light that it doesn’t even soak through underpants. Maybe twice a year I’ll get a period heavy enough that I need to wear a tampon during one of those three days. A tampon meaning one single light flow tampon. I’ve had the same box for 5+ years now. Granted this is due to me being on birth control for the last 10 years, but still. I feel very grateful today.

  4. You definitely get the, “Oh, Hon, I’m so sorry,” from me. That sounds absolutely hellish! I do hope today is much better for you and that the ablation solves the issue.

  5. Been there, it is AWFUL! SlowFE will help with your anemia, that’s what I took. I had a partial hyst due to same fibroids and endo. Best decision I ever made! I was 33. I know you are miserable and nothing can slow the flow, every move you make you feel a gush! Be still and drink beer.

  6. My god, that sounds awful. I really hope the ablation helps things.

    I have endometriosis too and my worst symptoms are long periods (at LEAST 7 whole days) and pain that is before, during and after my period. I dread period weeks and they always fall during the worst times. For example, I’m finally getting a beach vacation next week and I’ll be on my period the ENTIRE DAMN TIME. Endometriosis sucks!

  7. oh my g-d.

    What I wish would have happened when you called for the appointment was that they would have said —- “we’ll stay a little late today so we can get this started”.

    I hope the ablation helps. soon. resoundingly.

  8. Yikes! I am so sorry! The only way I can relate, and this is just a tiny bit, is that my periods got super-duper heavy after I had my IUD in for a few months. That first month I had a day where I was changing out pads every few hours and the cramping was BRUTAL.

    So, to experience that — but worse, and consistently every single month — UGH. I feel for you, sister.

    I’m glad you’re getting the ablation. Yay for getting your life back!

    (And I hope today is better for you! Crossing my fingers!)

  9. Ill chime in with my, I’m so sorry! This is just horrible. I have heavy periods when nursing (they are supposed to be lighter then but I’m lucky this way) and I can soak a tampon in an hour in my one heavy day. I can’t imagine three. I will say that it helps to use a cup. It holds a lot more.
    Have you called to ask for an earlier appt or to ask to get your iron tested? I hate that you have to wait until the 17th. 🙁

  10. I am so so sorry. Really truly sorry. That is just awful. I wish there was something I could do. I will pray that you have lighter days for the rest of this one. I will pray for the abulation and that it helps tremendously.

  11. That sounds atrocious! So just chiming in to give you an “oh hon! Bless your heart!” like you requested. You have our collective sympathy!!

    (btw I always use a Diva Cup… I just checked their website and it actually holds 30 ml!! Might help you?)

  12. Oh sweetie. So terrible. As a teenager, I menstruated early, and had 7-day long, fairly heavy periods. And had awful, awful cramps – uterus, legs, back. And also an upset stomach. Which at 12 and 13, in jr. high, is SO MISERABLE and SO HUMILIATING. My mom honestly didn’t know enough (or was afraid) to get me to a doctor and get me on birth control and just get me some ibuprofen for goodness sakes, or even just a heating pad. I know that’s only a mere shadow of your misery. I can’t even imagine. I hope you can get this taken care of soon, because AWFUL. SO AWFUL.

  13. I GET IT. About two years ago, I started having symptoms and side effects of both fibroids and endo. Really gross side effects. Come to find out I have neither, nor did I have anything pre-cancerous. I got an IUD put in because I couldn’t really take time off work for a partial hysterectomy, but now I’m thinking I might go ahead and do that. The IUD has helped tremendously with the flow and the pain, but I’m an emotional wreck being in PMS all the time. I’m tired of it!

    Good call on the ablation. I truly hope you are able to get some much-needed relief soon. Kudos to you for keeping up with your races and fitness routine, though.

  14. Oh hon, yikes. That sounds just miserable and I really hope the ablation helps! HUGS!

  15. Pardon my language but holy fuck- that is too much bleeding. I am a bit concerned about your iron levels and how that much inflammation & blood is effecting your overall health too. And? It sounds like you may need the dr to prescribe pain meds for the worst of the pain. I am so sorry- that is awful.

  16. Oh honey that sounds awful! I’m so sorry you have to go through this. I really hope this is taken care of soon. I can’t believe you’ve held out this long and a doctor hasn’t stepped in and done something sooner!

  17. OH, HONEY CHILD…BLESS YOUR LITTLE HEART!!!

    in regards to womanshit…i shall never complain (to you) ever again! 🙂

    love you!

  18. Wow Kim, I thought you were awesome before but now I understand what you go through WHILE doing all that running and stuff- you’re a mothertruckin’ SUPERHERO! I know a few ladies who have been through what you are- and between either ablation or hysto they have all screamed a hearty AMEN to the end of all that UGH! I hope it works out for you

    And also, ‘oh honey- bless your poor heart!’ (I’m from Canada so I hope I got the Southern sentiment correct :>)

  19. Oh, you get all the OH I AM SO SORRYs in the world from me. My period post kid has been way worse than before, and the last few months I usually have one day where I go through a super tampon an hour or two–to deal with worse than that? For more than a day? For as long as you have? You are one tough as nails lady. I hope the ablation helps you, and that you get it done FAST.

  20. nope nope nope nopenopenopeNOPE. that is awful. my period ramped up after childbirth, and is intense, but, yeah, kim deserve you deserve a big reprieve.

  21. I can’t believe what you’ve been going through. No woman should have to endure that. Thank god for modern medicine. I hope this is the beginning of the end of your misery. You have all my sympathy!

  22. Oh yikes! I don’t think have menorrhagia, but much of this post resonated with me. I can’t wear a tampon without a backup pad, ever. (I am going to Mexico the end of July and I am freaking FREAKED OUT at the possibility of having my period there because swimsuits are not an option for me when I am on my period!!!!!) I treat underwear like they are disposable. At night, I do wear a tampon and a backup pad because otherwise, I bleed through my clothes, the sheets, UGH. Each morning of my period, the bathroom looks like a crime scene and I am horrified at the thought of my family seeing it before I get it all cleaned up.

    The thing is, I know your situation is far worse than mine. Feel free to vent, you gave a nice disclaimer, but man, you NEED a place to vent. Because as miserable as I am every month, I cannot even imagine what you must be going through!! Seriously. Can’t Imagine.

  23. I’m right there with you! Fortunately, my heavy days are contained to two days. I don’t have the horrible awful cramping…but I don’t have fibroids or endometriosis, just the menorrhagia. It’s just uncomfortable little cramps, but I have vicodin for my migraines so one of those puppies makes a big difference (I have also found that the reduced cramping, reduces the flow). And I’m a 7 day girl. But now that I have reached the age of 42, my periods have started to become irregular and I’m lasting longer. Last month I had a Mirena IUD put in to see if it will help. It’s got 6 months to work its magic or I’m begging for the ablation. I’m anxious to hear how the ablation works for you. But you do have my deepest sympathy. Oh…and until you can do the ablation, I’m a huge fan of the Always Infinity Maxis as a back up.

  24. Hope the ablation helps! Since you have both fibroid tumors and endometriosis, I would be tempted to skip the ablation and go for yanking the reproductive organs out!

  25. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this! July is just around the corner! It makes me wonder what our foremothers who suffered from these things had to go through. Ugh. Thank goodness we can suffer inside, in the nice, cool A/C, anyway, right? But I hope the days go fast and the ablation works well.

  26. Man (or should I say Woman)! That sounds absolutely horrific. You have definitely lived with that long enough. I can’t even imagine days like you’re having. So, so, so, so sorry.

    I’m not sure exactly why you have to wait for the July 17th appointment. I know it causes some anxiety, but I’d suggest calling back to see if they can get you in earlier based on the severity of symptoms. Or call and see if they can schedule the ablation on the same day as your appointment so that you don’t have to wait another month. Or perhaps find another doctor with more openings in their schedule?

  27. Oh man, I just want to come over give you a hug, bring an extra large box of Ultra Tampons, Overnight Pads, and really good beer. I thought changing an Ultra once an hour for a day was bad… I’m so sorry and I really hope you get answers. Anyway you could get on a cancellation list? Maybe get in before the 17th, that’s gotta feel like a lifetime from now

  28. Oh Kim, that’s completely horrible! I am so sorry. I hope ablation remedies the issue for sure. I have PCOS and Fibroids and that little combo is no walk in the park either but it’s certainly not buckets of blood. Please eat a steak before jumpin into the vegetarian lifestyle again. You need the Iron right now, girl! Sending you all the love and virtual chocolate I can right now.

  29. Holy crap. I’m so freaking sorry. I used to have horrendous periods but nothing like what you go through. I have a Mirena now so I don’t have any periods at all and I don’t miss them one bit. I hope whatever your dr wants to do is soon and successful!! You need a damn break.

  30. Oh, that sounds awful! You need a big hug!

    Hopefully your procedure will help and this will soon be a thing of the past!
    In the meantime, Playtex Gentle Glide has an “Ultra” tampon that is even better than super+… I need it my first day every time! It says it’s for up to 18g. I know that’s not a lot more but it might buy you a little more time? Not every store carries them, call around!

    A milion hugs!

  31. I have the same issues as Kim, and a cup just doesn’t work. The reason is because I pass such huge blood clots, the cup can’t handle it and then starts leaking horribly.

    Kim, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. If I were you, I wouldn’t wait until the 17th. Losing too much blood isn’t healthy. If it means you see your PCP instead of your Gyn first, then so be it. When my Mirena IUD was pushed out by a huge blood clot in January, my doctor (granted, this was in England) put me on a 5mg progesterone pill that I took 3x a day just to get the bleeding under control. It worked while I was on it. Now I’m not sure what is up with my cycle, but I’m waiting for health insurance to kick in since we’ve move back to Colorado before I can see someone.

  32. Wanted to add that I got the Mirena put in to help deal with the symptoms your describing. I ended up having my period, as it had been before, from October 6th until February 15th – the IUD fell out on January 16th.

  33. *hugs* I had moderate to heavy bleeding (prior to birth control, thank god for modern medicine) and have bled through my fair share of clothes. I’ve experienced the every 1-2 hour pad change. I can’t even imagine every 20 minutes. That sounds hellish. I hope the ablation works to solve the issue. : /

  34. Walgreens carries them by me, I also found them at one of the Targets near my house but NOT my usual one.
    I know there are 2 brands that make Ultras, I believe that the other is Tampex Pearl. I live in Ultra Tampons and Always Radiance Overnight, Long Pads for the first 3 days and at night for 5 nights. Also, only black pants and underwear for work…

  35. The Diva cup just doesn’t work for me… I am another one with the blood clotting and between that and heavy periods its just too much for the diva cup and I refuse to try the mirena because for me it costs 700 and they say the periods are worse before they get better and I’m already anemic. The other day I had to sit on the toilet for quite some time because the flow was so bad, it was like I was peeing….and it took three flushes to get rid of the blood residue in the toilet so I didn’t scare the crap out of my kids. I really feel for you, I cannot imagine every 20 minutes for 3 days… I have those times, but its usually an hour or two, for about 2 days and the rest of the days I can get by with a super tampon ever 1-2 hours (well I say that but I always have to change the pad too). Take some iron girl… I take it all month long just so my periods don’t dip me too low again….

  36. First of all: Oh my god you poor thing! I hate to sound sexist, but I don’t think a man *can* understand how awful that is. I have nothing like your problems, nowhere near, but I can IMAGINE it. And you’re running marathons with this? I thought I was impressed before.

    Second, I really hope they can get you in sooner. I have some phone anxiety myself, but maybe if you called the office, every day, and asked if they’d had a cancellation, they’d try harder to fit you in? Because NO ONE should have to go through that any longer.

    Hang in there. We’re here for you. Good luck!

  37. I totally feel your pain having gone through endometriosis for many years. I finally had surgery to remove the lesions and it has made all the difference in the world. No more pain, no more heavy bleeding. I didn’t have fibroids so I can’t speak to their impact but I know that treating the endo made such a big difference. I used to pass put on the first day of my period from the pain and blood loss. i am wondering why you are not treating the endo and fibroids? Why not treat the problems instead of the symptoms?

  38. Cup user here, but not Diva- I use Meluna, which is smaller. Mine fills about to 16ml every 4-5 hours on my heaviest days. Definitely nothing compared to what you are going through, but I have had to pass some painful clots in the past. And take more than the recommended dosage of ibuprofen… I don’t know the details of your cycle, but I would suggest giving a cup a try, at least to see if it works out for you. If you go through 4 boxes of tampons per day, a cup would probably cost only as much or slightly more than that, and then save you cash in the long run once you have learned how to use it. It’s a pain to change a cup once every 1-2 hours but it beats changing a tampon every 20min!

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