Parenting

My Legacy Of Boob Sweat Is Made Of Lies

Whenever something newsworthy happens to a blogger, I always get really freaked out by the fact that their blog becomes a topic of discussion. Something happens to their kid so everyone analyzes their parenting based on their blog entries. Something happens to their spouse and people look for signs of strife. Something happens to the blogger themselves and people find reasons to exalt them to make the story sadder.

I have no idea how my blog could be turned based on the story. But I do know that exaggerate a lot for entertainment purposes. For example – and brace yourselves for the truth I’m about to slam on you: I don’t deal with boob sweat quite as much as I joke about.

Well, I do, but it’s not as bad as when I was pregnant with Nikki and driving a car in the summer with no air-conditioning. That’s when the boob sweat jokes started. And pregnant boobs in Alabama in July with no a/c? Are blog-worthy items. You can get a lot of material out of the sweat marks your boobs leave on your giant belly on your 30-minute commute home in the heat.

But since then? Not so much. But I reference it a lot because…COME ONE…boob sweat is funny.

If something happens to me…please let it be known that the boob sweat was exaggerated for comedic purposes. MY BOOBS ARE NOT ALWAYS SWEATY, I PROMISE.

But – I also joked with E this week that if something happened to me and the kids looked to this blog for stories about my love for them? They might be sorely disappointed. Talking about how much you love your kids is just not that funny. Talking about the time they colored on their face with marker is HYSTERICAL.

Photo taken July 15th, 2010.
Photo taken July 15th, 2010.

I also write a lot about the problems I’m having with discipline or bad behavior. I use you all as therapy and I get ideas from you. But overall? My kids are not as bad as the percentage of entries about their behavior may indicate. I mean…they’re DREADFUL…but not that dreadful.

(Kidding!)

I told him, “If something happens to me, please remind them that I truly did love them. That my blog was for entertainment and for therapy so it exaggerated the funny and divulged the difficult.”

He said, “That’s okay, Mom. I’ll make sure they know how much you loved them. But they can be pains in the ass sometimes.”

Well said, son. Well said.

3 thoughts on “My Legacy Of Boob Sweat Is Made Of Lies”

  1. My lord, that is one cute kid, even with marker on his face!

    I used to keep a journal for the same reasons that you blog. But everything was so negative. I only wrote when I was feeling sad or angry or upset about something. I know if anyone reads them after I’m gone they will think I was the most depressed person in the world. And sometimes I was! But other times I was very happy; I just didn’t write during those times.

  2. OH MY GOD. I’ve been away from the south for only three years, and I had completely FORGOTTEN about commuter boob sweat. SO EMBARRASSING. And I wasn’t even pregnant or anything! I just… sweat. A lot, I guess? I will never be a fancy lady.

    And yes, you nailed it with this: “it exaggerated the funny and divulged the difficult.” This is mine, too. It’s how we tell stories, and how we remember our lives! The funniest highs and hardest lows stick out, because contrast makes things interesting.

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