Dad, Grief

Missing Out

charlieblogI’ll be honest – sometimes I make mistakes that I am VERY glad my Dad is not alive to see. Like that one time I backed into the brick retainer wall lining my driveway. Or the time I almost got the utilities cut off because I forgot the pay the utility bill while we were in the middle of a show at E’s school.

Yeah. Those things? Completely fine with him never knowing about.

However – MAN – I wish he could see my oldest child rock the stage these next few months. I’ve always wished he could see E perform, the shows themselves would be amazing enough to wow him. But this year he has lead rolls! I really wish he could see those.

First up, next month? He’s Charlie Bucket in “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”! How cool is that? A LEAD! His name IN THE TITLE!

He’s all cool and nonchalant about it – just going to rehearsals and learning his lines and his blocking – like…NBD. Whereas, every day I’m like, “HOW DID IT GO? ARE YOU HAVING FUN? WHAT DID YOU DO TODAY? WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE PART? HOW ARE THE COSTUMES? DO YOU NEED ME TO READ LINES WITH YOU?” I’m watching him pretending to play around but I know he’s taking it seriously really. He’s going to be the best Charlie and I’m so proud that he got the LEAD. He is ACTUALLY Charlie!! My sweet boy is going to be a star.

I…am NOT reserved. Obviously. I’m just screaming, “MY KID IS CHARLIE! AS IN – AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY!” from the rooftops. I’m the most embarrassing theatre Mom ever. Seriously. If you don’t believe me? Ask about my screaming being on the recording of a performance last year. After EVERY SONG you could hear me screaming in the audience. “WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

I’m not saying my Dad would be that enthusiastic, but his mind would be blown.

And then…THEN…in March? He’s playing “Young George” in “Our Town” with Theatre Huntsville. His first non-school play! And another good part! I can’t wait for that one either. Although, I’m not a volunteer for that production so I doubt I’ll have the opportunity to embarrass him like I do at the school shows.

I would love for my Dad to see BOTH shows. He wouldn’t embarrass E at all. It would be a good counterbalance to his screaming Mom in the audience every night.

Of course – I’d also love for my Dad to meet his new grandchild, born in November. I’m grateful my kids all got to at least meet him, although Was doesn’t have any memories of him, being 10 months old when he died. But I’m glad I have pictures of them together – and I’m grateful for that, even when I’m simultaneously sad for the other things he’s missing.

That’s just part of life after death, the things we continue doing that the dead can’t see.

But YOU can see it all! If you’re local, come to the shows! Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is next weekend and “Our Town” in March!

(Sorry to end the blog plugging my kid’s shows. Had to lighten things up a bit around here!)

4 thoughts on “Missing Out”

  1. If we lived anywhere near you guys, we would totally come to E’s shows. It is awesome that he has such great parts!!

    I often cry or get depressed over what my mom is missing out on in my son’s life. And what he is missing by not having her around to be his Grandma. She would have been the best grandmother in the world and would enjoy having a grandson so much.

  2. I love that your son is getting so many great parts! That is awesome! I had the most fun doing that in HS, college and for about 7 years after that. Of course I was the stage manager for most of college and after but still. It is SO MUCH fun. I have done one production since moving to NOLA, and it is thisclose to going up on Broadway. SO SO excited about that!

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