My Reproductive Nightmare

This Is Definitely The Cleanest I’ve Ever Been

This is going to be my featured blog image for awhile, in case you’re wondering.

Pre-Op prep is different now. Our hospital – an an effort to reduce spread of infection – is asking every pre-surgical patient to bathe the night before.

And by “bathe” I mean scrub down for FIVE MINUTES with this weird pink liquid (it is NOT soap). And then, if that’s not enough? I had to do it again this morning. TWO SHOWERS WITH ANTIBACTERIAL LIQUID IN LESS THAN 12 HOURS. For someone who never even uses shampoo, this is quite significant.

I may not be pregnant anymore – and am about to have the dead fetus scraped out of my body – but the good news? I am squeaky clean!

They gave me a cervical softener last night which did not make me as miserable as they can do. And they gave me percocets for pain afterwards. YAY for pain meds!

I didn’t reschedule anything I had going on tomorrow night or the rest of the week because I know that recovery time was nill (once I had a good nap after the procedcure) and that the meetings and whatnot would be a great distraction. I’ll be back at work on Thursday and still refusing to process my sadness for at least a few days. My goal is to keep my shit together until I can go out for a long run and then – when I’m on my own with the therapy I love most – I’ll process it all. I’ll scream, I’ll cry, and I’ll sprint like a mother trucker until I sweat the sadness out.

Until then…I’m just focusing on the mundane. Like the fact that the soap stuff they made me double-bathe with has made me TERRIBLY ITCHY. And I’m also starving to death and dying of thirst since I haven’t had food/drink since 10:30pm last night. OH – and even though I’m down to 2 cups of half-caf coffee a morning? I know that not getting that today will give me a raging caffeine headache.


Thanks for being there for me, guys. As usual – you all make me feel completely and totally blessed even if the world takes the periodic dump on my head.

32 thoughts on “This Is Definitely The Cleanest I’ve Ever Been”

  1. I hope knowing that so many friends and family have you in their thoughts today will give you strength. Much love to you friend. (hugs)

  2. I’m so sorry for your loss, Kim. Hope that today goes smoothly and sending all my best wishes.

  3. I am thinking about you today, Kim.

    And here’s hoping you can have that run soon, very soon. And then, you can come home, polish off a beer while watching all of the fun, new tv programming we have going on right now.

    Hugs to you.

  4. thinking of you today and hoping you can get that run in soon… and yes 4 years ago with my last child I was asked to use special soap the night before and morning of…. but I think I also had to use it once daily for the 3-4 days leading up to my c-section…that stuff is so yucky

  5. It’s inadequate, but I’m sorry. For the loss, for the itch, for the big production and feeling like you need to keep it together in the face of grief.

  6. I’m so sorry you’re having to do all this. I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible and that you’re able to process when and how you need. Virtual hugs and BEERS!

  7. I have been out of town for a few days and just now getting to comment. I am so sorry for your loss. I’m thinking of you today as you go through the D&C.

  8. Sending good thoughts your way. I am going to scream and cry for you today because I am in that kind of mood.

  9. Praying for you, and not feeling weird about it since yesterday’s post. Thanks for putting that out there. You’re nice, so I didn’t think you’d mind prayers. It’s just that, when I was in junior high, I told a fellow student I’d pray for her sick grandmother, and she asked me not to. So, I always think of that… Anyway, you’re in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope you get to have that run soon. And beer and chocolate and hugs.

  10. I’m so sorry, Kim. I’m just catching up from Monday. My prayers are with you and your family.

  11. Sending best wishes your way Kim, have been there before and I can recommend beer and lots of it until the time is right to cry xxx

  12. My sweet Kim….You know I started to say that I am sorry that ths baby didn’t get a chance to know his/her wonderful, loving family…..but I have to believe that this baby did feel how much he/she was loved….I know that you already know this but you have a beautiful family and ths baby was already very much loved!

  13. Just catching up and wanted to say I am SO sorry to hear your pain.
    Enjoy your beer, have a couple good runs, find a trampoline to jump on… and pretty soon you’ll be ready to think clearly again.

    …. and know we are here for you in the meantime!
    Hugs from afar!

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