Parenting, Thing 3

What I Do When My Son Proposes To Me…

Wes – for being troublesome in so many ways – is also the sweetest of my children. I mean that he’s the most affectionate and just loving. He’s always telling me I look beautiful and that I’m, “the best Mommy EVER!” He’s complimentary and can’t get enough hugs. He’s my snugglebunny. And it’s not just me – he doesn’t really have to know you that well to snuggle into your embrace and let me tell you: HE HAS MELTED DOZENS OF HEARTS with those snuggles.

This means the inevitable has happened several times: He’s asked me to marry him.

At first I had a hard time explaining why we couldn’t get married, but then I fell upon a great explanation that I thought I would share with you in case you have an affectionate child who assumes that their massive love for you means eventual betrothal.

I explain to him that – when you marry someone – it’s because you love them so much you want them to be part of your family FOREVER. So you don’t have to marry the family you already have: We’re already family! I explain that he’ll meet someone who is NOT part of our family some day and he’ll want to marry them to bring them into our family.

“You don’t have to marry me! You’re already stuck with me forever!”

This way I avoid the kissing/sex/weakened genetic pool conversation that I’m not sure a 4-year old would understand.

Now…if only I could figure out to simplify the explanation as to why boys can’t “feed babies out of their boobies” like girls can. Mammary glands are just above his level of comprehension right now.

6 thoughts on “What I Do When My Son Proposes To Me…”

  1. Well I haven’t gotten a proposal from BZ yet, but we have started to explore the boobies issue. One night I thought he was almost asleep when suddenly he popped up and said, “Me no have nursies Mommy.” So we’re starting to get that worked out….

  2. Wes likes to just hang out in the bathroom while I soak in the tub. We just talk about life and our days and it’s nice. But inevitably – for obvious reasons – we end up talking about how babies drink milk from their Mommy’s boobies. A few days ago he asked me if ALL Mommies did that and I told him about how some women can’t for various reasons: pain, no milk, work etc. He said, “And boys can’t do it because it hurts them without the big padding under their nipples.” I thought, “Hm…that’s a DAMN good conclusion to draw there!” 🙂

  3. Yup. My 6-year-old son has suggested that he marry both myself and his 3-year-old sister. I stumbled upon a very similar explanation.

  4. My son is 14 now, so he stopped proposing to me many years ago. *sniffle*

    That is a great explanation though. I think I’ll pass it along to my sisters-in-law, who both have little boys that love them more than the air they breathe 🙂

  5. I gave my 6-year-old son a very similar answer but he was unfazed by my attempts at logic so I broke down and told him yes.

    He wanted to go shopping for a ring but we’ve yet to get around to that.

    He then told my boyfriend that I’m “spoken for” so no need for him to consider marrying me.

    (he REALLY said spoken for, I just about fell over laughing on that one)

  6. My son tried repeatedly to feed his kittens from his nipples. And was extremely disappointed when told, as a boy it was not going to happen ever.

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