How I Became The “You’re AWESOME!” Lady

A long time ago, when I decided I wanted to make the world a little more awesome, I knew the first thing I would do was become better at was communicating the positive thoughts that cross my mind and do more to ignore the negative. Like, when I really like someone’s necklace I say, “I really like your necklace.” But, when I want to come home and talk about that one guy and his weird outfit? I pass. I do this for two reasons:

1. We All Tend To Be A Little Too Hard On Ourselves

We all have voices inside of our heads that tell us the outfit we’re wearing makes us look fat. Or that we’re crappy parents. Or lazy. Or dumb. We tell ourselves those things all the time. If I’m thinking something positive about you: She is such a good Mom. Her grown children really like her. How do I make that happen? Then why not share it? We all think positive thoughts about people all the time, but we don’t feel comfortable just blurting it out. Well…I’ve become a blurter of just those kinds of things. I notice it even catches people off guard and they get flustered which is much better because I’m always flustered so then we’re like two awkward people trying to out-nice each other. If you’ve ever been in a moment like that? With someone, you’re trying to out-nice? That’s the kind of day that brings on the rainbows. It’s a good feeling.

2. There Is A Whole Industry Grown Around Mocking People

I hate the Oh! Look At This Trainwreck! part of pop-culture. I stress out when people make jokes about celebrities getting divorced. There’s a kid involved. Just because they are in the public eye, it doesn’t make it any different than anyone else going through something like this. The only thing is that it may be publicized. Just think they may even require the services of someone like a Divorce Lawyer Chicago to help get them through this tough time. So before mocking celebrities about getting divorces, just keep that in mind. And having been the kid of divorce and having been the parent of a kid during a divorce? IT SUCKS. Of course, we’ll talk about it – I get that – it’s fascinating! My friend told me who went through a divorce recently that it sucks too but having some great legal support by your side helps. Apparently, they had Family lawyers in London help them work through their divorce which is helpful. But the jokes? The making fun of someone who might be a closeted gay man? The laughter at the expense of a broken family? BAH. CAN’T HANG WITH IT. So – I consider it my mission to balance out the entire Let’s Laugh At People industry with my tiny little attempt to focus on the good that people have to offer. Or just spreading cheer. If I come home and laugh at a celebrities rumored homosexual exploits, what type of energy am I putting into the universe? Whereas, if I find myself thinking awesome thoughts about a group of boot camp sisters doing a detox together? Why not take the time instead to post encouragement to them on Facebook? (I did that just last night.) Yes. I then become the annoying cheerleader in everyone’s life, but the kind of energy that puts in the universe? Is better than the kind where we all bitch and moan and laugh at the expense of others.

Nurturing The Habit

I’m still not perfect at this. I still am lazy and if I have a positive thought about someone and they’re not around to share it with, or I’m not near Facebook where I can post it, then I tend to just let it pass. Which makes me sad. That means I wasted a perfect opportunity to make someone smile, just because I didn’t feel like finding a way to communicate with them in that moment. Or because I was maybe too embarrassed to do it in person.

Because sometimes it’s awkward to say something nice to someone. We aren’t conditioned to accept compliments gracefully, much less give them. I never regret it, but sometimes it’s hard just to put it out there. I just finally blurted out to a girl at the office the other day, “Did you get a haircut?” Because I couldn’t figure out how to just spontaneously say, “You’re hair looks awesome today.” Eventually I made it to that point, but not after mumbling and making myself probably sound like an office creeper. But still! It made her smile and it put one more burst of good energy out into the universe. I always hope that when I do that, then the ripple effect will spread the cheer to others along the way.

So…yeah. I’m that annoying cheerleader in everyone’s life. But I’ve decided that’s not a bad thing. And it’s way better than being a Negative Nancy. Have I perfected the art of being a cheerleader without being awkward? Nope. But I like to think that makes it more authentic when I sound like a creepy socially-awkward stalker! GO TEAM AWKWARD!

12 thoughts on “How I Became The “You’re AWESOME!” Lady”

  1. I, for one, am exceptionally grateful for your attitude. You’ve supported me SO much, and you’ve inspired me even more.

  2. One of the things I miss about religion is that it provided a feeling of cross-checking: I felt like I had to think more about how I was representing myself in the world, and I felt like Someone would notice and be pleased if I did good things rather than icky things—even if I felt like no one else would notice.

    But something I’ve been finding recently is that people DO notice if someone does good things rather than icky things—not with every single action, but cumulatively. I definitely notice when people have made a hobby of making mean jokes or of leaping on other people’s tiny errors or of tearing people down in a pack. I notice, and it erodes my opinion of them. So when I am tempted to make little cracks about public figures (AND OH IT IS VERY TEMPTING AND SOMETIMES I SUCCUMB BECAUSE IT IS SO FUN TO PLAY WITH THE PACK), I think about whether “someone who does that” that is the person I want to work on being, and/or the person I want other people to see me as being. It’s CUMULATIVE.

  3. Since you first wrote about your positive attitude, I have tried to put a more positive attitude out there myself. I still struggle sometimes, but I think about the things you write about and try to apply them when I am having a difficult time staying positive. You have helped me a lot! Thank you!!

  4. YES. Cumulative. I got really stressed recently because I kinda got bitchy about someone to a friend and then later they said, “You’re ill with them…” and I was like, “No! That was just a bitching moment! I was in a bad mood! I swear I’m not ill with them!” I mean – we all have our moments but I want the cumulative me to seem more positive than negative.

  5. I can’t even tell you how much I love this. I’m a personal cheerleader type too! I cringe when I see things like that People of Walmart type site. I don’t like laughing at people, I’d rather laugh with them.

  6. Dang, your aura gets brighter and sparklier all the time.

    I agree that people should compliment often. I make an effort to compliment at least 3 people a day. Even, or especially, people that I don’t have much in common with.

    Receive compliments graciously too, please. If I say you look wonderful and strong, the appropriate response is not “Thanks, but I wish I could lose the last stubborn X pounds.” That’s sort of doubly negative there – putting yourself down and denigrating my opinion by qualifying my compliment.

  7. YES. I’m bad about that! I consciously try to NOT do it, but sometimes the ingrained self-deprecating nature overpowers it ๐Ÿ˜‰

  8. I used to read a blog of funny stories about people being stupid, and it really was funny, but … it got a little depressing, reading about just how stupid people can be (and we all have our moments, I’m not being all better-than-thou), so I stopped reading it. It felt so good to remove that source of negative thoughts! Every little bit of bad out of life helps. Good for you!

  9. ya I totally get one of your points, like I would also feel like man it’s a wasted opportunity, if I pass the opportunity to compliment someone, so I get u on this….on a side note, today I was also thinking I should be less hard on myself..=P xxx U R SO KIND!!! hahaha is this awkward? LOL

  10. I am mainly a lurker but I wanted to let you know I complemented a total stranger this morning because of your post. Someone in our neighborhood voluntarily plants flowers at the entrance to our community. This morning I saw her and at first I was too shy to say anything. My daughter forgot her show and tell at home so I had to drive by multiple times. Your post gave me the courage to open my window and thank her. Go Zoot!!

  11. AWESOME!!! I love that! And you know she did too ๐Ÿ™‚ Hopefully the ripple of awesome will come back your way soon!!

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