A long time ago, when I decided I wanted to make the world a little more awesome, I knew the first thing I would do was become better at was communicating the positive thoughts that cross my mind and do more to ignore the negative. Like, when I really like someone’s necklace I say, “I really like your necklace.” But, when I want to come home and talk about that one guy and his weird outfit? I pass. I do this for two reasons:
1. We All Tend To Be A Little Too Hard On Ourselves
We all have voices inside of our heads that tell us the outfit we’re wearing makes us look fat. Or that we’re crappy parents. Or lazy. Or dumb. We tell ourselves those things all the time. If I’m thinking something positive about you: She is such a good Mom. Her grown children really like her. How do I make that happen? Then why not share it? We all think positive thoughts about people all the time, but we don’t feel comfortable just blurting it out. Well…I’ve become a blurter of just those kinds of things. I notice it even catches people off guard and they get flustered which is much better because I’m always flustered so then we’re like two awkward people trying to out-nice each other. If you’ve ever been in a moment like that? With someone, you’re trying to out-nice? That’s the kind of day that brings on the rainbows. It’s a good feeling.
2. There Is A Whole Industry Grown Around Mocking People
I hate the Oh! Look At This Trainwreck! part of pop-culture. I stress out when people make jokes about celebrities getting divorced. There’s a kid involved. Just because they are in the public eye, it doesn’t make it any different than anyone else going through something like this. The only thing is that it may be publicized. Just think they may even require the services of someone like a Divorce Lawyer Chicago to help get them through this tough time. So before mocking celebrities about getting divorces, just keep that in mind. And having been the kid of divorce and having been the parent of a kid during a divorce? IT SUCKS. Of course, we’ll talk about it – I get that – it’s fascinating! My friend told me who went through a divorce recently that it sucks too but having some great legal support by your side helps. Apparently, they had Family lawyers in London help them work through their divorce which is helpful. But the jokes? The making fun of someone who might be a closeted gay man? The laughter at the expense of a broken family? BAH. CAN’T HANG WITH IT. So – I consider it my mission to balance out the entire Let’s Laugh At People industry with my tiny little attempt to focus on the good that people have to offer. Or just spreading cheer. If I come home and laugh at a celebrities rumored homosexual exploits, what type of energy am I putting into the universe? Whereas, if I find myself thinking awesome thoughts about a group of boot camp sisters doing a detox together? Why not take the time instead to post encouragement to them on Facebook? (I did that just last night.) Yes. I then become the annoying cheerleader in everyone’s life, but the kind of energy that puts in the universe? Is better than the kind where we all bitch and moan and laugh at the expense of others.
Nurturing The Habit
I’m still not perfect at this. I still am lazy and if I have a positive thought about someone and they’re not around to share it with, or I’m not near Facebook where I can post it, then I tend to just let it pass. Which makes me sad. That means I wasted a perfect opportunity to make someone smile, just because I didn’t feel like finding a way to communicate with them in that moment. Or because I was maybe too embarrassed to do it in person.
Because sometimes it’s awkward to say something nice to someone. We aren’t conditioned to accept compliments gracefully, much less give them. I never regret it, but sometimes it’s hard just to put it out there. I just finally blurted out to a girl at the office the other day, “Did you get a haircut?” Because I couldn’t figure out how to just spontaneously say, “You’re hair looks awesome today.” Eventually I made it to that point, but not after mumbling and making myself probably sound like an office creeper. But still! It made her smile and it put one more burst of good energy out into the universe. I always hope that when I do that, then the ripple effect will spread the cheer to others along the way.
So…yeah. I’m that annoying cheerleader in everyone’s life. But I’ve decided that’s not a bad thing. And it’s way better than being a Negative Nancy. Have I perfected the art of being a cheerleader without being awkward? Nope. But I like to think that makes it more authentic when I sound like a creepy socially-awkward stalker! GO TEAM AWKWARD!