I’ve been writing and re-writing an entry for weeks now about how I feel like the internet has redefined “funny”. It seems more and more lately that we’re poking fun of, or mocking, things that people do or say or wear. All for the sake of a laugh. And I’m not talking about the freaky trolls who get off on hurting people, I’m talking about ordinary people who write entire entries about how hideous it is that people wear leggings as pants.
I’m torn because I laugh at that stuff sometimes. And I’ve written it myself. But lately, it just seems like it’s become more and more common. And the more common it becomes – that we laugh at a general pattern of clothing or hair styling or speech patterns – the more I flashback to 7th grade summer daycare and the cruel SK8TER BOI who made fun of my acne, my hair, my clothes, and propensity for reading The Babysitter’s Club books. That side of me would really like it if the grown-up Zoot would quit laughing at the expense of others.
We just tend to go for mocking humor more often than not lately. And again – I’m human – I do it too and I laugh when others do it. But lately the 7th-Grade-Zoot is becoming more and more sensitive. Maybe because it’s becoming so common, maybe because sometimes I’m in the group being mocked.
Over the last few months I’ve gotten stupidly defensive about stupidly innocent things said on the internet. Mainly twitter…but also the periodic Facebook status has upset me and made me possibly respond with possible hurt feelings kinda like a pouting 8-year old when her big brother makes fun of her Beiber posters.
“SHUT UP! AT LEAST I’M NOT UGLY LIKE YOUR FACE!”
It’s just that it seems more and more common lately to use the platforms to openly declare your hatred for things. And it seems like every day someone is proclaiming that they don’t like something that I just happen to do/say/wear and I suddenly find myself wondering…”Am I the most annoying person in the world?”
Here is the list of things ridiculed online that I have found myself getting very defensive about:
- The Twilight books – I swear when I first started writing about liking them everyone liked them. Now it seems like everyone thinks they’re stupid. Where did my peeps go?
- Shortened words like ‘whatevs’ – On twitter the go-to joke is that “It only takes one syllable off! Why shorten it?” Um. I’m not saying “Whatevs” because it’s shorter…I’m saying it because I like the word. Same as I like the word “brilliant” over “good”. It’s just word choice. Why do I have to justify that word choice over any other? And even then…it’s slang. Are we against slang now?
- Being a fangirl – Someone felt that word had become annoyingly ubiquitous. And I use it all the time! But it’s the perfect word for me! I obsess over things: Harry Potter, Starkid, Doctor Who, Glee…I am the ultimate Fangirl because I totally go Screaming Tween about all facets of these things. Why can’t I use that word to describe myself even if everyone else uses it too?
- Scrunchies – I know! They’re from the 80s or whatever reason why you think I shouldn’t wear them. But I like them! They’re easier on my hair than rubber bands! BAH.
- Glee – DUDE. People really hate that show. And they bash it openly everywhere. But you know what? I like it. I know it has it’s faults, a lot of them, but it gives my kids solid gay couples in semi-real relationships (they never kiss, which bugs me, but I’ll deal with it) and there’s nothing else like that right now. AND I LOVE THE SONG/DANCE NUMBERS. Okay? That’s really all I’m in it for.
Here’s the thing…Am I being too sensitive or are we getting too snarky in our old age? The balance of Times Zoot Laughs and Times Zoot Feels Sad seems to be shifting. I started feeling sad/sick with every Zombie joke I saw about the incident in Florida. I’ve also been getting defensive when people make fun of people reading 50 Shades Of Gray and I don’t even want to read that book! (Not against smut, mind you…just not THAT kind of smut.) But when I see someone mocking those who do read it? I think about how irritated I get when people mock the group of us who like the Twilight books.
I just don’t laugh as much at it anymore. Either because I’m getting too sensitive, or because it’s getting too common. I’m not sure which.
What do you think? Are we using other people for humor more and more now? Whether because of what they’re wearing, or because of what drugs/mental illness has driven them to do…I just feel like the internet is slowly forgetting that those are people on the other side of those jokes. And even if you’re just mocking me for using new slang…I still kinda feel sad about it. So, if I’m mocking something, isn’t there probably someone that feels sad because of my joke? Can’t I find a more polite way to say I don’t like something without sounding like I’m making fun of people who do? And maybe when tragedy hits – no matter how bizarre it is – I remember there are loved ones whose lives are forever changed because of those bizarre news stories. And those people don’t find my tweets funny.
Maybe…when I want to make someone smile…I should share with them something that made me smile. Not at the expense of others, but because someone created something wonderful at the expense of no one.
So, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll leave you with my two go-to videos lately for when I need a pick-me-up.
(Watch the whole thing! It gets cuter and cuter!)
(Watch the whole thing! It gets cuter and cuter!)
I guess I’ll just try to stop using that crutch to lean on for writing material. See if that makes 7th Grade Zoot feel better. And maybe I’ll hunt down the jerk from 7th grade on Facebook and see if there’s anything about him I can find to make fun of. Because HE deserves it…stupid poop face.
39 thoughts on “It’s Like 7th Grade Summer Day Camp All Over Again”
I get upset when a celebrity has a small normal human lapse in judgement, and there is a PIG PILE of slamming them down. Like, they say something kind of stupid, and they just get GROUND INTO THE FLOOR for it. Even if I don’t like the celebrity, I’m incredulous. Everyone needs to be perfect or else there are people lying in wait, ready to rejoice and celebrate in the failure. Yuck. (Unless I’m participating in it myself, in which case it’s harmless fun bonding. Ahem.)
I love this post. I’m the same. I’ve laughed (and recently, so not like “whoa, young me, how rude!”) at stuff that I later felt badly about. Who cares? Who cares if someone likes something I don’t? Am I so insecure in my opinions I need to mock someone else for theirs? Ugh. And being mean to be funny is still mean. (And I love Glee!)
You should reconsider reading 50 Shades of Grey… I’m almost done with the first book and LOVED IT! There’s more of a story (that I can actually relate to!) and less smut than I thought there would be, but holy wow it’s sexy hot. Let’s just say Donnie would benefit, bahaha
I agree with your post but OH MY GOD THAT PROPOSAL VIDEO. Tears, everywhere! Thanks for posting that.
Did you see the segment on the Today show where the softball team from SMU challenged the boys from Harvard into a dance off with that song? They both did their dances in those vans too. It was cute and now that song is one of my favorites.
I am totally guilty too, but at the same time tend to be oversensitive to other people’s negativity. As such, I’m inspired. I’m definitely going to make an attempt to clean up my negative thinking and speech. Hopefully it will help me present a better outward appearance and inward process for Evi.
I know the bare minimum about the face eating guy, on purpose. Stuff like that creeps me out. And until now I haven’t even thought about it. Again, creepy!. In our family we totally have gallows humor. We would always rather laugh than cry. So I get that. And I think you should keep on being you, regardless of the rest of the world! I never cared for Twilight, but I say whatevs ALL the times. I don’t care if people like it or not. I think it’s a funny word! I like Glee well enough, when I can remember it’s on and it’s not bedtime for three small chirrens. I don’t know what’s wrong with fangirl though. Seriously. People need to get over themselves. And that just leaves the scrunchy. WHICH HAS TO GO. I have super long(down to my butt!), curly hair and I use regular ouchless rubberbands. Scrunchies are the devil.
OH, man. I have spent a FORTUNE on ouchless rubber bands only to find THEY ARE LIARS. They all pull out my hair. Now…I use them if I’m wearing a bun okay, they don’t pull so much there, but ponytails? OUCHMORE not OUCHLESS. But I’ve tried!
And – if it’s any consolation – I still suck it up and wear them if I’m running a race. I can handle the pulled hair once in awhile. But my general boot camp workouts? It’s all scrunchy all the time. 😉
NO! I need to see that!!!
Yeah. I do that harmless fun too. Ahem.
I know! I put off watching it for days because the way everyone was talking about it I knew it would make me cry. It still does and I’ve watched it about 10 times now.
Ok, here’s the whole segment.
Also, have you tried twistbands? They are SO gentle on hair and don’t pull. I love them! Lisa actually makes some, so I’m sure you could try one out from her before ordering if you wanted.
I just don’t see many that are funny – gallows humor or not. I’ve also been thinking recently that there’s nothing you can pin on pinterest that won’t get nasty comments. And they aren’t even trying to be funny. Why spend your time looking at the pin in the first place? The snarky comments in real life don’t amuse me, either. Or the people who pride themselves on being honest, but what it really means is they can’t be bothered to think of a gentle way to say what needs to be said and insist on giving their opinion whether its warranted or not. Maybe I’m the one out of step, but I think our grandmothers had a point when they said ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.’
Ahem, obviously I’ve been noticing a disturbing lack of civility all around recently.
LOVE THE SEGMENT! Thanks for sharing!!!
Fan girl is still cool!!! I am a huge fan girl on anything Joss Whedon, Doctor Who, Glee, and many more things. People who hate just don’t get passion and feeling apart of something. Don’t worry fan girls are everywhere and we unite!
As for the stuff happening in the news, unfortunately society is becoming more desensitized to violence and don’t think anything about it. Yeah, I made a joke that it was the zombie apocalypse on the guy eating the other guy but really it was horrifying and actually quite frightening.
I still like the Twilight books no matter what people say. They came in a time of my life that I needed some romance.
I guess there are a lot of people who are very unhappy in life that they have to hate on everything and everyone to make them feel better, which in turn really doesn’t so they keep doing it and it just a cycle of self hate. When someone makes a nasty comment to you, stop and feel sorry for them because they don’t have anything in their life to make them happy. Then go on because you can’t change those people they have to want to change themselves.
I am almost 40 and just learned that this is who I am and if you don’t like me then don’t be around me. I am not changing for anybody. It took way too long to feel this way.
Twilight, Glee, fangirl, all backlash from becoming too popular and someone deciding it has become annoyingly ubiquitous. Eventually it comes round again – the second time as cool to love because of the hate, in a retro sort of way.
Wait. People hate Glee now?
I don’t wear my hair in a ponytail because I feel like it makes my face look weird. I know. Clearly I have issues.
I don’t get that either. Why be ugly? If you don’t like it, don’t pin it. I’m from the same school of thought—If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.
Just wanted to let you know that I’ve posted both of those videos to my facebook. I <3 them both 🙂
Ok, I am soooooooo incredibly guilty of hating on 50 Shades of Gray, not the fan base, mind you, but the book itself. It’s a terribly written book. I couldn’t get through the whole thing because I read the same generic paragraph about 4 times over in different sections. I can’t really understand why people are losing their minds over the book but maybe it’s just not my favorite genre(I like memoirs and Tom Robbins) Also, I personally hate being bossed around and get really irritated when I see women act spineless, even in fiction… So, yeah, I completely peed myself over the funny or die parody and then posted it on my 50 shades of Gray loving friends Facebook page.
As for the Florida tragedy, it broke my heart and terrified me. He was on “bath salts”, apparently. There is a huge, terrible meth/pill/bath salts epidemic here in East Tennessee. Bath Salt babies are now frequenting the NICUs and the neonatoligists are at a complete loss as to how to treat these poor little angels. It’s not funny to me at all that drugs are weaving evil into society.
Did you have a hard time getting through it ? I really had to put it down and delete it off my kindle because I pretty much stayed irritated as all get out at both of the main characters…and reading the same “I bit my lower lip and his breathe hitched. ‘Stop biting your lower lip’ he commanded” paragraph over and over again. I just wanted to find the author and buy her a thesaurus. I’ve heard the other books in the trilogy are better but I really just can’t get past the writing.
I completely get what you are saying/feeling. I live in S. Florida and the attack has been so pervasive on every news outlet, FB posts, EVERYWHERE! It makes me so angry that people have forgotten that there were two PEOPLE involved there, one clearly out of his sane mind and one a total victim.
I also understand your desire to defend your “likes” and I respect that you do so–with gusto! I love that you love Glee so much. In fact, your love of it made me go back to watching it again, thinking it deserved another chance. Several of your very enthusiastic postings about books and movies have driven me to them and I am really glad I gave your likes a chance.
Thank you SO MUCH for the Harvard boys link–it cracked me up! Now I assume you have already seen the Popdust supercut version of it (http://popdust.com/2012/05/23/this-is-crazy-the-call-me-maybe-supercut/) which is great fun. But please, whatever you do, please check out this President Obama version. It has me cackling at work (on lunch, I swear!) and my office mates wondering what on earth has gotten into me. http://marquee.blogs.cnn.com/2012/06/05/president-obama-sings-call-me-maybe/?hpt=hp_t3
Please keep defending the things you love and sharing them–I love reading about it. And please keep being a person who cares about how other people feel, especially in a world where so often people dismiss the importance of humanity. It’s what makes me read your blog and wish I could meet you in person.
I think part of the problem is one of noise: there is so much NOISE on the internet that to stand out, you often have to be MORE than everyone else. Noisier, louder, crasser, funnier, etc. You’re more likely to get retweeted, favorited, shared if you say something funny/outlandish than if you say something nice & kind.
I also think that the veil of the internet that makes the trolls come out also allows people to say things that they never would to someone’s face. I may not like Twilight myself, but I’d never say to someone “You’re an idiot for liking Twilight.” What makes people think it’s ok to say that online? Yes, it’s not super nasty trolling, but it’s definitely not being aware of how your words can impact the actual people on the other end of the screen.
I’m not saying I never fall into it myself, but I’m with you that a lot of it just makes 7th grade me want to curl up under my bed with a book.
I feel like karma kicked my butt on the 50 Shades thing. I read the first one and felt like it was the worst book ever and joked on it. Then I read the second and I kinda liked it. It was like book karma came up and said “Haha, you hater! You’re gonna read this and you’re gonna LIKE IT!”
But, more to your actual point — I find myself guilty of this. I know I say that I don’t like things, or joke on things, but then when other people do the same thing, I get offended. I should work on it.
Did you read the third book? I really really hate the first book. I stick a book out til the end out of principal but I just couldn’t finish it.
I haven’t read the third yet. I wouldn’t say the second was great or anything, but it was decent trashy reading. There wasn’t any punishment and Ana grew a spine. Christian was still whiny and needy, and the author still needs to find a thesaurus, but the smutty parts made up for it, IMO.
I really disliked the first one. Not only was the writing irritating, the punishment aspect made me really uncomfortable.
It’s okay not to like things — I don’t like Glee, not because I’m too cool for it, HAAA, but because I have issues with some of the characters and I kind of think Ryan Murphy is a misogynist dick. HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean that I think or mean to imply that people who like Glee are stupid. I miss Glee a lot, actually, and I have all the albums.
That’s where it stops being okay, you know? When people judge the PEOPLE who enjoy things.
What I really got angry about was the things people were saying about the PEOPLE who read 50 Shades of Gray. That they were “embarrassed” for them, because they couldn’t recognize good writing and/or they were turned on by something that was wrong.
I’m a book editor — a real one — for crying out loud, and honestly, Fifty Shades is terribly edited, but who cares? It was compelling for some, a lot of people (hello, including me) really liked and read them like rabid idiots within a matter of hours (ME ME ME) and what kills me is that BDSM is a real thing that people are into, so to watch people shitting all over it, like it was anti-feminist to get off on something sexually that the people critiquing it knew little about was making me TWITCH. You don’t judge people’s sex lives, intentionally or no. And I saw some people doing so intentionally, and I was AMAZED.
It’s okay not to like something yourself. It is NOT OKAY to shit all over someone else for liking it. They are not less intelligent than you are. They are not stupid or deviant or trashy or unable to recognize good writing or smart storylines or whatever high horse you’re on, you know?
OH and by me saying why *I* don’t like Glee doesn’t mean that I think that people who DO like Glee are too stupid to see that. Because I agree with you and why you still watch/like it. And even if I didn’t, SO WHAT? I LIKE ROMANCE NOVELS.
EXACTLY. What we “like” is simply a reflection of how that thing makes us feel. If it makes us feel good? We like it. If it makes us feel bad? We don’t. That has way more to do with life experience than intelligence. And sometimes I know thing are written horribly (I’m choosing to ignore that Sue Sylvester is pregnant on Glee because THAT IS SUCH A HORRENDOUS STORY ARC) but me enjoying the show doesn’t mean I’m too stupid to realize that. No…it just means that the GOOD I feel when Kurt/Blaine are sweet overpowers the BAD I feel when Sue is being…well…Sue.
And regarding the written word? Dude…I’ve found fanfiction I like (and oddly, this has nothing to do with 50SoG) that might be considered horrible to many because A) It’s fanfic and B) It’s probably horribly written – but I still ADORE it because it takes characters I’ve fallen in love with elsewhere and gives me a way to follow them on other adventures. Sometimes better than the adventures the went on in their source work.
So…yeah…no way I’m judging any audience based on their affection for the book/movie/television show. Too many factors involved.
I mean, I don’t like Game of Thrones (The TV Show) but I totally don’t judge people who do. Which is a good thing because those people? DEFENSIVE. 🙂
HA! I was so busy typing my novel in response to your last comment I missed seeing t his one come in. 🙂 Like I said…I like some fanfic…I have no room to judge. 🙂
NOISE. That is such a succinct way to describe it. I agree. I CAN BE MOST OBNOXIOUS WITH MY OPINIONS SO PLEASE RETWEET ME! *sigh*
I appreciate this post so much. It reminds me a lot of my whole-hearted adoration for New Kids on the Block, back in the day. I had all of the “fan” stuff: beach towel, hat, t-shirt, buttons, tapes, pictures, posters, etc. I even traded the NKOTB “baseball cards” with my cousin in PA, through snail mail. But by the time I got to 6th grade (you know, 21 years ago) they were no longer cool and I was shunned for loving them. So I stopped. We shun each other for so many things these days, being hip/not being hip, eating healthy/eating at McDonald’s, yoga/crossfit, Boy bands/independent artists, shakespeare/50 shades of gray. The list goes on and on. And the “noise” on the internet and tv just gets louder and louder. Just because I love to veg out to trashy reality television does not mean I am any less intelligent or interesting then the person who doesn’t even allow cable television in their home. And, I cry so often about Glee. It reminds me so much of my marching band days (with an extreme twist of course) and my theater days when I so wished that doing those things made me the cool kid.
Well played, this post. Well played.
I feel there is a middle ground or a third aspect, that is present with finding things humorous. I don’t know that it’s possible to police yourself or others and force people or yourself to not find this or that funny. We find things funny for different reasons and sometimes it’s because we relate to it, and are actually laughing at ourselves. Meaning, maybe the reason I laugh at the celebrity that steps over their words during an acceptance speech is because I do exactly the same thing when I’m in front of people. Not to mean to them but to give myself a break. To recognize that even someone rich and famous and “more important” than me is still just human, just like me, and it’s a relief.
My best friend is much like you Kim, he hides behind a pillow when watching Friends anytime he thinks Chandler, or Ross is going to speak to someone in a possibly embarrassing situation because he cringes at all the times he’s been in similar situations and failed them. But I think, what you’ve realized in your progress with social situations is that despite tripping over words or your own feet it is possible to still have a conversation with people that like you and they like you even if you do weird things sometimes.
Laughing about a moment that could be embarrassing does not equal being mean about it, it’s a way to release the tension and I fear people who don’t laugh at most of those sorts of moments end up being very socially afraid, and constantly on guard for things, that don’t matter in the long run. So my best friend has all these past embarrassing moments, that he can’t really even being to talk about and only half remembers the details for because they are too disturbing to him. And since the day I met him I’ve laughed at him because he’s quite ridiculous, but I love him dearly in all his ridiculousness, BECAUSE he’s who he is which is quite ridiculous and I’ve made that clear, I’m not laughing at him because he’s bad, I’m laughing because he’s funny. And in doing so, he can then laugh at himself and he’s not had nearly as many issues with embarrassing things making him cringe to remember them. And it’s not because he’s gotten any less ridiculous, I’ve just given him a perspective to consider that he doesn’t have to take it so seriously and be wounded by it. Because honestly the 7th grade guy you remember so clearly, probably doesn’t even remember any of it. And it’s not worth letting it rent space in your head if it’s just holding you back and bogging you down.
So while I do think it’s wrong to laugh and point and be mean the way that guy did to you. Giggling because something is funny and then accepting that flawed person you just giggled at into your life as a friend, is a different situation, I think, and I hope that you are able to find someone that can do that for you too. You are an awesome person, I’ve been reading your blog for several years now, and I don’t enjoy all the same shows you do or books but I love hearing about your family and your activities and how far you’ve come with everything you strive to do. I admire you, and when you are being completely ridiculous with your neuroticisms I admit I laugh, because it’s funny, not your pain or your struggle but the ridiculousness of it all.
And I hope that explanation helps you understand why sometimes you laugh at people in those situations too, and why maybe it’s not so bad, it’s like saying hey, we are all in the same club….together. And acceptance is a wonderful thing.
Funny – my reaction to the negativity is to remove it (unfollow, take a blog off the RSS, whatever). There are very few people in my “feed” that rely on bashing others as their main form of humor (most, I now realize, are more likely to use their own errors, much like myself), so while I saw the face-eating thing go by, it was one side article on facebook, not in every internet platform, and I only know it happened, not the details and certainly not the jokes. I guess I’ve decided that sort of humor doesn’t deserve my attention.
On the other hand – if you haven’t read Heinlein’s Stranger in a Strange Land, you should… and note the definition of humor that Mike comes to. 🙂
I just commented on a similar post about this. About people “judging” other people for liking 50 Shades of Grey. I assumed, incorrectly, that she was talking about me, since I wrote a post about not liking it…and why I didn’t like it..and that I was fascinated that so many people *did* like.
But..I wasn’t judging YOU (collective. Not YOU YOU). I even wrote a little disclaimer at the top saying that everyone likes different things and you can go ahead and like it. It wasn’t something I liked, for many reasons.
But…I also don’t like leggings as pants or some shortened words or white pants or comic sans etc.
And I think it’s okay to NOT like these things and I don’t feel like I have to feel bad when I say that I don’t like them.
I am disagreeing with youâ€”it’s not making or breaking our friendship, if that makes sense.
I like a lot of things that other people don’t. And I don’t really care. I like ONE TREE HILL for crying out loud. I watch Degrassi (all of them). I love Glee and I watch The effing Bachelorette. I own these things. I don’t feel like people who don’t like Glee don’t like ME or wouldn’t want to be my friend because of it. They are allowed to not like it.
I’m not sure if I made any sense here.
See – you are doing exactly what I referenced at the end – demonstrating that you don’t like something without making people who DO like it sound/look/feel like idiots. Of course it’s fine to proclaim you don’t like something. I don’t like Real Housewives Of [insert city here] but I’m not going to say that women who do like it are trashy. Or vapid. Or whatever insult I’ve seen.
That’s my only point is that it’s becoming more prevalent on the internet to turn snarky and make fun of people who like things we don’t…it just seems to be a growing trend. But now proclaiming you don’t like stuff! Hell – I do that every other tweet! 🙂
Dude, I love American Idol. I have loved it and FANGIRLED over it since Season 1. Do you know how many people HATE American Idol? I have had the most awful things said about me because of my love for AI. But I own the love and no one can ruin it for me!
I am passionate about the things I love (AI, Dave Matthews Band, Cucumber Melon scent from Bath & Body Works which they have discontinued but are bringing back for a LIMITED TIME ONLY–OMG buy ALL the lotion!, Hunger Games (because of YOU, Kim) and the list goes on) and I adore people who are just as passionate about the things they love.
I just don’t get why the mean people have to make fun of those who love things that they themselves do not love. It’s OK for you to tell me why you don’t like AI, but it’s not OK to call me an idiot because I enjoy the show. Different strokes for different folks and all that jazz.
Twilight? Love the story. The movies are OK. Very much dislike the character Bella in the books. The people who love everything about the books and movies are awesome and fun and completely entertaining to watch the movies with.
I say “whatevs” all the time! Ever since a cute aussie boy was on Rockstar (TV music reality show) several years ago and he’d say just “evs” or “whatevs” and far be it from me to not pick up on something so silly. ha
Love scrunchies! I have long thick hair. They work the best when I put my hair up to go to bed.
I have a love/hate relationship with Glee and Ryan Murphy. I won’t get into all the reasons, but I keep watching because every week I want to give it ONE MORE CHANCE. I spend most episodes mad at a lot of it, but usually there is at least one redeeming thing in an episode. 🙂
Great post! Mean people suck!
totally agree. and now that i’m pregnant and i realize that the “mommy wars” exist, i’m even more tolerant than i ever used to be. why do we have to be so judgmental of peoples’ choices that are so harmless to us? nobody is stepping on my right to NOT read 50 Shades of Grey, why do i care if they do it? i read twilight! i own all the movies! and they are TERRIBLE, but i still love them.
ribbing someone for something that is terrible (my love of twilight, my friend’s love of 50 shades of grey) is okay by me. insinuating that we have lower IQs for liking them is not.
thank you for the videos, love!!!