Parenting, Thing 3

We Should Start Writing Our Parenting Book Right Now…


“Have you noticed that lately Wes points at everything with his middle finger?”
“Yeah. We should try to break him of that habit.”

We were at Firehouse Subs the other night and Wes pointed at something around Donnie with his middle finger. We suppressed a smile and then he explained to Wes that pointing is often rude, but if he’s going to do it he should use his POINTER finger. Not his middle finger.

Now…picture this next part in your mind. He. Ever. So. Slowly. turns his hand and the pointed middle finger in front of Donnie’s face and holds it EXACTLY how you would hold it if you were wanting to rudely flip your father a bird. IN HIS FACE.

E and I lost it. IMMEDIATELY. No pause. No hesitation. No pondering of the beautiful moment before us watching Wes shoot his father the bird. Nope. Just IMMEDIATE laughter.

We were both eating and we practically showered the table with digested sandwiches as we started laughing SO HARD. I could hear Donnie laughing too, but I couldn’t see him because I was trying my best to cover my face so that Wes didn’t see me cracking up. Because – if there’s one thing every kid learns quickly in life – if it makes your parents laugh hysterically? DO IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOREVER.

The only problem was; that I was trying to stifle such violent laughter, that my meatball sub was getting permanently lodged into my trachea. I found myself laughing while choking to death and all I could think was this hysterical moment is about to be ruined by my untimely death.

Somehow, through my attempts to surpress my own laughter, I ended up gagging and coughing up the murderous bits of meatball. No harm done! Except that Wes was sitting there STILL FLIPPING HIS DAD OFF and smiling and the antics of his family. Namely – his Mother vomiting oven-roasted meatballs all over the table while crying tears of laughter.

I’d say the lesson was learned: Flip Off Your Parents Every Chance You Get Because Everyone Will Laugh Forever And Ever. And Possibly Choke To Death On That Laughter.

AMEN.

Unless that wasn’t the intended lesson…

4 thoughts on “We Should Start Writing Our Parenting Book Right Now…”

  1. Oh no…lololol. I have had a similar moment like that with my now 18 year old when she was 4. I couldn’t hold back the laughter either…

  2. Wait – when did you start eating meat? Or were they veggie ‘balls? (Not trying to be/sound judgy! Hope it doesn’t come across that way.) (Oh, and I’m glad you didn’t die.)

  3. single hardest parenthood lesson… not laughing at this kinda stuff… ROFL

Leave a Reply