Nikki lost a tooth this week and I received the DREADED text message on my way home from boot camp the next morning: “Nikki woke up and found her tooth under her pillow :/”
SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. SHIT. SHIT.
That’s verbatim, if you’re wondering.
I didn’t even forget entirely! I had the dollar in my PJ pants ready to sneak under the pillow! It’s just that the previous night was one of those “Wesley is screaming and I’m tired so I’ll just lay down with him” kind of nights. He woke up crying before I was even in bed, so I just opted to lay down with him since I couldn’t soothe him. That made me forget ENTIRELY about the damn tooth fairy.
I resisted the urge to point out that The Tooth Fairy has been very busy lately with work and 3 kids in one play that just wrapped and 1 kid in a musical that she is producing and that MAYBE instead of focusing on her FAILURES the Tooth Fairy needs everyone to take a moment to tell her how AMAZING she is for being able to juggle all the balls with just the periodic drop. GIVE HER A BREAK, DAMMIT.
But – like I said – I resisted.
Luckily, Nikki is used to disappointment from fatastical beings. The Elf on the Shelf didn’t move one night either. So, we told her we had NO IDEA why the tooth fairy didn’t come, but we did propose hypotheses. Which she joined in on.
- Maybe she’s sick?
- Maybe it fell out too late?
- Maybe she got lost?
- Maybe your head was too heavy…you do have a melon head like your mother.
I finally told her that the tooth fairy hasn’t met me for lunch for WEEKS (Spoken with my most sarcastic tone, which cracked her up.) so I had no idea what would keep her from doing her DAMN JOB ALREADY. But, Nikki insisted we write her a note DEMANDING an explanation for her slacktitude.
So we did.
And she did.
And the tooth fairy explained that a LOT of teeth were lost that day so some of her Fairies In Training were taking responsibility to deliver some of the money. Evidently the Fairy In Training who came to our house? Is scared of dogs. And she panicked when ours barked. The Tooth Fairy was very sorry and even left FIVE dollars instead of the usual: ONE dollar. (The tooth fairy has a guilt complex.)
So…tell me: What did you do when the Tooth Fairy slacked at your house?