Health & Fitness.

Screw Everything, I’m Going For A Run


I saw a pin on Pinterest yesterday that said “F Everything And Run” (Except it had the REAL F-word) – and while it damaged my sensibilities with the dirty word (WHAT?) – I’ve been thinking about it a lot since.

Yesterday was a BAD DAY. I would love to run down my List Of Crap Stressing Me Out but I don’t want to give that list any more power than it already has on my life. Let’s just say this: I was called to the principal’s office. And that was probably the LEAST stressful part of the day.

After my race 3+ weeks ago I told myself: Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Those would be my running days. I’d like to do more than 3 miles each weekday and more than 6 on the weekend. Beyond that? I was just going to go with the flow of any running group I could find.

I found a group to run with last night, and I’m so glad I did because I just said, “F*ck it, I’m going running.” That is the sentiment of my running life now. Running has become my escape. My therapy. I was desperate to find someone to run with last night so I joined a group with a few people I knew and I hope I didn’t slow them down too much because those six miles were EXACTLY what I needed to brush off the day.

Running has become that THING in my life that just makes me feel better. It’s funny, it’s like popping a beer (which I do some nights on top of running!) or stuffing my face (which I try NOT to do) – it’s something I do because I know that while I’m doing it, it calms me down. But the awesome thing about running as a stress-reliever it? It doesn’t make me feel like shit later like binge-eating or beer does. I finish the run, the stress has waned, and I feel GOOD.

So, on each running day, I take all of the crap that is bringing me down and I say, “F*ck it!” and I run. I’m not training for anything, except for my own mental health. And to be there with running now? Is amazing. This is why I want to keep running four days a week, because I know that my relationship with running is good for my body AND my mind.

I feel like I spend a lot of days lately debating the merits of medications for my anxiety. I consider that a “last resort” type of step and don’t want to take it until I feel like I’ve tried all other options. And after every GOOD RUN that I get in I say to myself, “No where close to last resort yet.” Because – for right now – running is keeping me sane.

I want you to truly understand that a year ago I would have read this entry and wanted to punch the person writing it in the face. I would have thought she was crazy and most importantly: SO DIFFERENT FROM ME. I want you to truly understand that this did not come naturally…it took almost a year of regular running and finding great running groups for me to get this attitude about running. But now? I need it. The Mommy guilt of ditching the kids subsides because I know that THEY need me to run, too. They need me to leave all of that stress out on the road and come back to them with a clear head.

(For the beatings, of course.)

I know a lot of you struggle with running just like I have in the past and I hope that every one of you, can some day feel what it’s like to let go of all of the stuff making you sad, angry, and stressed – and just hit the road. For those 6 miles I was fine. I felt great. It was cold and wet but I was running and for each mile I ticked by, my muscles loosened and my heart grew stronger away from a day of anxiety. I came home ready to face it all with a much better attitude than before I ran.

I hope some day you can say the same thing.

11 thoughts on “Screw Everything, I’m Going For A Run”

  1. Running is definitely a stress reliever for me, but oddly lately I’ve had a hard time getting myself out the door even though I know it will make me feel better. Especially since Evi is home so much now, and running with the stroller is SO HORRIBLE.

  2. You go, girl! Running isn’t an option for me, but dragging my tired, holy cow did I really sign up to be with this little person 24 hours a day self to the gym makes a huge, huge difference in feeling less tired. And taking time at my sewing machine (my hobby) after she goes to bed, instead of just crawling in to bed myself, makes me a much better Mama. Recharge, the name of the game.

  3. Yes. Yes yes yes. There are few things better than putting your body on autopilot for a long run and letting your brain unwind down whatever road it chooses to go. Endorphins are incredibly addicitve, and I’m fairly certain my exercise (lots of running) has saved me thousands of dollars in therapy. I totally get this.

  4. Totally off topic but, did you watch Parenthood last night??? It was a good one. I just get the Kleenex box out any time I watch that show now lol

  5. Sigh. I’m still working on making it a habit. And the next step will be a habit that I enjoy. But I just finished reading Born to Run and it was great, revved me up again mentally, and also made me think of you.

  6. I just started running about a month ago, and have already reached this point. It was especially helpful this past weekend when I had six extra people in my house, all of whom seemed to have a raging case of PMS. I also wanted to say thank you for being the voice in my head that says it is OK if you run slower than some people walk, at least you are doing it, and you WILL get faster. Thank you for NOT being all “I started running a week ago, and next month I’m running a marathon!” ๐Ÿ™‚

  7. Good for you! There are so many things that can take your time and attention, between kids, housework, work-work, spouses, that it can be impossible to take the time away for exercise. I find that no matter how tired I am, or how much is going on, I have to FORCE myself to the gym to get my workout it. Even if I’m super tired, once I get to the gym and start exercising, the endorphins kick in and I get a surge of energy.

    I’m jealous of how much you like running ๐Ÿ™‚ I’ve had such a hard time getting into it. I guess going with a group probably helps a ton.

  8. Exercise has always been my natural anti-depressant/anti-anxiety. I get twitchy if I don’t get regular doses. So glad you found something that works for you! Definitely make time for that — I feel that it’s not just for you and me, it’s for the benefit of our families too.

  9. I know this is really an old post (internet years) but I could not be more glad that my friend sent me the link to this today.
    Can’t wait to have time later to read through your archives and get caught up!
    Thanks for the inspiring post ๐Ÿ™‚

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