Parenting

That Damn Elf.

zoot

So, I mentioned on Facebook recently that I was thinking about doing the whole “Elf on the Shelf” thing this year in an attempt to scare my children into behaving better. Everyone who has used it have varying degrees of effectiveness, and as long as no one said, “IT MADE MY CHILD MORE EVIL!” then I was on board.

I decided to set it up last Friday so that I could talk to the kids about it before the babysitter came over for Donnie and I to grab some dinner. Nikki was IN AWE. She listened to the story and immediately started talking to Fifi (that’s what they named him) and being on her BEST behavior.

Wes was not so inspired.

He kept trying to touch the Elf which – as you may or may not know – causes him to lose his magic so he can’t get back to Santa. Luckily, I had placed the Elf inside a cup so I could just move the cup without touching the Fifi. I moved him to a higher shelf as Nikki watched – TERRIFIED I was going to slip and touch the thing.

Well, Donnie and I went to dinner and the babysitter was asked to read the story about the Elf OVER and OVER again. HOWEVER, while I explained to her about the Elf before I left, I didn’t tell her about how I skipped over the line about the kids needing to “Say your prayers” in the book. You know, because I knew Nikki would be like, “WHAT?!” and immediately freak out because she doesn’t say prayers.

Lauren, our sitter, read that part and Nikki did exactly what I though she would. She freaked, dropped to her knees and immediately started “praying”. How many other kids has Santa inspired to be religious?

Anyway, no big deal, my daughter prays. How or for what? Eh. I’m not concerned. We talk about religion all the time so she knows how I feel and she knows I don’t pray but don’t have a problem with people who do. ESPECIALLY IF SANTA WANTS THEM TO!

Little did I know this would not be the greatest drama to come out of the damn Elf.

We got home and I immediately went to take Lauren home. I called Donnie after she told me the Nikki Praying story and I could immediately hearing Nikki crying in the background.

What’s going on?
WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THE STUPID RULES FOR THIS STUPID ELF?
Huh? What happened?
I TOUCHED IT AND NIKKI IS FREAKING OUT AND CRYING BECAUSE SHE THINKS I BROKE HIS MAGIC! I tried to explain it doesn’t count for adults but she doesn’t believe me because YOU evidently acted like it COUNTED. She said you wouldn’t touch it so it would have REALLY BEEN NICE if you had told me this before I SCARRED HER FOR LIFE!
Let me talk to her.

I basically told her that I didn’t know if the Elf’s magic was gone or not. “Daddy said he didn’t feel a shock or anything when he touched him…so maybe the magic is still there?” Sure, that sounds right. I assured her that that Santa was understanding and probably knows that Daddy didn’t know the rules yet. I told her I really hoped he did but that we would know for sure when we woke up in the morning because if the Elf had moved? It meant his magic was still intact.

And if he didn’t? It meant that Mommy forgot to move him.

I woke her up as she asked at 5am before I went to go run and told her, “He moved!” and then she went back to sleep, peacefully at last.

Donnie, on the other hand, has been in a catatonic state for five days now. The trauma of almost ruining the magic of Santa has he mumbling in the corner and flinching at the sound of Christmas music.

Published by zoot

12 thoughts on “That Damn Elf.”

  2. I’m sure you know this already but there are so many creative ideas on Pinterst for Elf on the Shelf! I almost wish I still had little kids so I could do this. ALMOST.

  3. I have come to hate the Elf! I am dreading taking him out of his box this year(we always start on Thanksgiving night). I have some links on my Pinterest Christmas board, and I’ve got to read them because my husband and I are out of ideas for where to put that fellow!! And how in the h*^l is my son supposed to believe the Elf comes from the North Pole when you can’t go anywhere without seeing eight million Elves sitting around. Sure makes it hard to keep telling him his elf is from Santa.

    I’m glad Nikki is enjoying it and I hope Donnie gets over his trauma soon!!

  4. I almost bought one yesterday. And while this story involves a bit of childhood trauma, I can only imagine how funny Nikki will find this when she’s E’s age or older. I think I might *have* to go get it now! 😉

  5. HAR! This could have been written about my house. If we so much as imply that our 5 year old has broken a rule (even one she didn’t know about, like saying a bad word for the first time), we’ll find her curled up in a ball in her room, sobbing her eyes out at the possibility that she has been bad (and therefore we don’t love her anymore).

    Meanwhile, the three year old would be eating the elf.

  6. Metamophicshifts – Metamophic shifts comes from the idea of tectonic shifts. That is the the earth is in a constant state of change. Like the earth's very surface, we are constantly in a state of change whether we want to embrace that change or not. As a certified coach, I have a front row seat to the process of metamorphic shifts in humans. People cling to certain thoughts and beliefs about themselves. Coaching works as an activation mechanism to change, growth and transformation. I have spent my career exploring human nature through fundraising, recruiting, and most recently coaching and leadership development. I am a single working mother of two children who light up my world but have also taught me as many lessons as any work I have done. My other great joys in life including running, health and fitness, exploring the natural world, reading, writing, and learning as much as I can soak up about all of these topics. My hope here is to share some of my experiences, develop some action items for myself and maybe in turn help some readers, and really at the end of the day get myself to write and explore my voice a little more. Education and Certification: Bachelor of Science, Health and Fitness Management Masters degree, Public Administration CTI Certified (PCC) Coach IIN Certified, Health Coach EQi Certified Immunity to Change Facilitation Trained Keirsey & MBTI Experience
    Christina says:

    Best ELF story yet! We bought a generic elf, more of a stuffed animal type thing that is less freaky looking than the Elf on the Shelf elf. Sorry, that ones scares even me!

    Anyway, he just magically moves around and we have just told them that when he disappears he’s back at Santa’s workshop helping out (AKA we have run out of places to put him, we are tired of moving him OR we forgot to move him so he is now in the cupboard hidden away!) Mostly the kids like to rush out and find him but he has not effect on them whatsoever. They still whine and cry and fight. Oh well. Maybe if we had a scarier elf and story book to go along they would be less inclined to be bad!??! HA!

  7. Ok so no elf for this house, lol My reasoning…

    My teens would torment the younger one with the whole touching and moving it thing. Four years ago… my oldest girl(18 at the time) had my youngest girl (13 at the time) believing that her doll was possessed because it kept moving at night…. so basically Ashley would wake up… move it and go back to sleep. Then Nikki would wake 4p and come screaming into my room saying things like.. see I told you it was alive! I can just see Nikki (now 17) playing head games with her 8 yr old brother.

    Poor Donnie…lol

  8. Courtney – Huntsville, AL – I'm a late 20's Southerner who tries to juggle too many things at one time. My husband and I moved to Alabama a few years ago from Tennessee. I grew up in the theatre and on the stage thanks to my ballet training. Nowadays, I spend most of my time grading papers and forcing high school brains to function outside the box. TwirlingOnTiptoes makes me feel stress free and calm - which is what I want to think about whenever I blog. However, I end up doing a lot of venting so maybe this is a happy place AFTER I'm done blabbing.
    Courtney says:

    This story was so funny that I just shared it with Joel, who proceeded to laugh out loud at the image of poor Nikki crying about the elf. I hope it works out perfectly though. I love the idea of the Elf and I want to use it one day!

  12. sharunscripted – Newyork – Simply Glamorous. Feminine. A little impatient. Loyal. Rarely on time. I'm imperfect but thats the beauty of it.
    Shardae says:

    I just returned my elf on the shelf and ordered Elf-Magic, because my son’s cousin and aunt (she’s 14 now) have that one. It’s less creepy looking, they can touch him, and they can change his clothes. It comes with a letter from santa, a bed, magic snow flakes to bring him to life, pajamas and slippers, and a pouch to keep him warm. There are so many accessories as well. They have clothing you can buy, snowcases (suitcase), a lots of other things. It’s oerall better to me and if the kids forget to sprinkle him you don’t have to move him. I love it way better.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply