I looked at this picture I sent to Twitter last night. I took it after a run I did with my HUSBAND, a 5K at the fastest pace EVER: 9:45 minutes/mile. Read that sentence again: 5K. With my husband. 9:45 minutes/mile. This was all done AFTER I did boot camp yesterday morning. Why am I putting so much of my hard-earned pride on the stupid SCALE? Do you see how fast I ran? DO YOU?
So…instead I’m doing an entry about how AWESOME I am. I ran 6+ miles on Sunday in preparation for my 10K on Memorial Day. I ran 5 miles Tuesday night and 3.5 last night. This is on top of boot camp every weekday morning. This is TONS of exercise and I’ve loved every minute of it.
And the speed? Back when I trained for my half-marathons, I was running right around a 12-minute mile. Granted, that was for my longer distances, but the 10K I did was at the same pace. The 5 miles I ran the other night? 10:15 minutes/mile. The 5K? 9:45 minutes/mile. When I started boot camp and my coach timed our mile, I couldn’t even do ONE MILE faster than 10 minutes. I did THREE last night at 9:45. I AM LIKE LIGHTENING.
Now…that picture. I look at that picture and see a BADASS. Seriously. I’m so proud of that picture. Do I still have weight to lose? Yes. But I am still working my ass off in ways I never knew was possible. I’m faster and stronger than I’ve ever been. Wes told me last night he wants some running clothes too…so he can be stinky. Which, you know, he’s a boy – so that is HUGE motivation for anything. BEING STINKY IS AWESOME. My kids ask me if I went to boot camp when they wake up, they know we run races. My husband and I talk workouts and muscle pains. The pounds will drop, I know that, but I’m not going to let the speed at which they drop determine my pride. Not when I can hold a wall-sit for 90 seconds and not even cry when it’s done.
NOW…all of that said…these type of entries tend to upset me as a reader because I always feel like the writer is basically making it sound easy. IT’S NOT. And I have a lot of things going for me that you might not: 1) A husband who works out so I’m motivated to be awesome like him. 2) A teenager who can be there for the kids and babysit when I work out. 3) Extra money at times to pay for classes and gear.
If you are lacking any of these things? It’s going to be 100 times harder for you. If you’re doing it anyway? Then YOU deserve a pat on the back. If you’re not? Don’t be hard on yourself. Do what you can. It’s hard on me even WITH all of these things making it easier. It would be too hard without any of them…I’m not sure if I could motivate myself in other situations.
But in this situation? I’ve done it. I’m going to run a 10K on Memorial Day that I’ve feared for YEARS. I’ve always done the 5K because it doesn’t have the DREADED HILL FROM HELL, but this year? I’m going to kick that hill’s ass. Even if I do it while walking.
Either way – I’m proud. Seriously proud. And that – is something rare for someone insecure like me. So I’m going to savor it, no matter what the scale says.