(I was going to title this blog entry “Funk” but then a certain song popped into my head and I wanted to make sure you were hearing the same thing I was.)
So…there’s a lot of stressers in my life right now. Stressers? Stressors? Stressars? Firefox has no suggestions and I’m too lazy to see whether or not I just made up a word. STRESSERS. It’s a word for now, okay?
There’s my Mom who is still in the hospital in Knoxville post-surgery. They removed the malignant tumor but had to take more than just a bit of her colon as it had grown outside the colon and into her bladder and reproductive organs. No biggie…just a longer recovery. But we still haven’t gotten the pathology back from the biopsies and tumor so we’re still waiting on any future treatment information. Waiting for pathology reports is the most annoying thing about medical situations because they always hold that vital information that will change the outlook of your immediate future. YET THEY TAKE FOREVER. Don’t let the medical dramas fool you, there is no magic room down the hall that allows you to immediately look at test results. Just like there’s probably no real CSI unit that can get DNA results back in four minutes.
There’s LilGirl, our alpha bitch in the family who has always had some cataracts in her eyes but now has one eyeball that is swollen because they think the cataract has caused glaucoma. She has to be taken to Birmingham today to see a specialist. MrZ has one day off between switching jobs (Look! Another stresser!) and he’ll be using it taking her on a road trip. She’s an old dog so I’m not sure what the options will be for her but she’s been going blind for awhile and is very pitiful now that she’s in pain. Last night she was scratching at the wall in the hallway trying to get into our bedroom. SO SAD.
Then there’s my damn allergies. While Knoxville definitely makes them worse, they are not easy to deal with here at home. Alavert does me okay for most of the day but, like last night, it seems to wear off a bit while I sleep. Damn you and your 18-hour effectiveness! I was up since about midnight sneezing. I’d show you the pile of tissues I accumulated by the couch but that might be gross. My eyes do better with eyedrops but I still have huge bags under them partnered with dark circles. My nose skin is raw and my throat is constantly tickled. Allergies and allergy medicines keep me in a fog anyway, add lack of sleep to all of that and I’m bound to be a huge MESS today.
In case you were wondering…those three paragraphs were me trying to gain a bit of sympathy from the interwebs because I am in SUCH A FUNK. I’m just down and grumpy and sad and tired and angry and frustrated and every other negative emotion you can think of. I’m trying my best to force some sun into my outlook as that has been part of my attempt handling my own anxiety: THINK POSITIVE. I feel like I’m doing better with that mentality, it kept me sane at the dealership yesterday when I was stuck with AndyZ for 2.5 hours. I actually handled that situation well considering a few months ago I would have lost it the second I realized they had NO changing table in the bathroom. (This place is BRAND NEW and NO ONE thought of that?) So…I did okay yesterday during a high-stress period of time. But in general? I’m just having trouble ditching the funk. I have met so many people who fight way grander stressers than mine with positive outlooks, and I would love to be like them someday. But obviously – by the gray cloud in my heart today? I’m not there yet.
So…I’m going to include a cute little video MrZ took of AndyZ the other night doing his version of a Jumping Jack. Every time I watch this I smile. I hope you do to.