Another weekend came and went and I didn’t call you to tell you about my week. It still feels weird, not calling you on the weekends. It still pops into my head on drives to run errands or when the kids are napping. I should call Dad… I think it’s because there are so many things I feel like I need to tell you about. So, here it is. You know…because I need more evidence to support me being The Krazee. Like talking to the dead.
LilZ loved his first week of High School. He’s still incredibly lost and jokes that if his friend who is in a bunch of his classes gets sick? He’s screwed. She evidently knows where she is going. He just follows her around. He swears the staircases are all identical and that when he goes down a set of stairs he is never where he thinks he should be when he gets to the bottom.
Yes, I said STAIRCASES. My high school didn’t have a staircase until after I started there. And it only led to, maybe, three extra classrooms? I have no advice to assist him…is what I’m saying.
He’s enjoying his drama class and he’s thinking about joining the newspaper. I’m encouraging him to do all of these things because I just want to know how it works! My high school was so different…no drama department, no newspaper. This is a learning experience for me, too. He also took my camera out this weekend and took some amazing snaps at a local art market. Here is one of my faves –
MrZ was floored I gave him my cameras to use…thinking I’d be too protective of them. I assured him that I was still very protective and that I actually told LilZ, “I’m more stressed about you in the care of my cameras then when you are caring for your siblings.” Because, you know, the siblings won’t let him forget them somewhere. I hope.
Either way – he had a great time and came home with some amazing photographs. I’m very proud. It’s nice to see your child share your interests…I’m guessing you felt the same way when I starting studying Geography. You always loved me talking about coursework…no matter how boring it may have appeared on the surface to the average person.
So…we survived the first week of High School…and we’re very optimistic about the rest of the year. I’ve only been saddened by one observation, and that’s the group of smokers I see standing across the street from the school in the afternoons. First of all, they are much braver than I was. I hated smoking in public anywhere in Knoxville for fear that someone I knew would see me. But seriously, I hate that kids are falling for the same view of smoking as I did. Still. Even when they cost three times as much. Still trying to gain cool points or rebel points by lighting up. I did the same thing, had the same mentality. And then struggled for years before successfully quitting. I know you and I often talked about why we both smoked, but we never smoked at the same time. So we never smoked together. Is it weird that I wish we had?
I wish you could see you grandson go through high school. I know you would be just as proud as I am.
A few pictures from the park this weekend…a park that still reminds me of you since I have so many pictures of you with NikkiZ there.
I miss you. I know that even taking the time to write this goes against everything you wanted for us, when you chose not to drag out your death. You wanted us to be able to quickly move on instead of caring for you indefinitely. I’m trying, I really am. It’s just hard. Especially this time of year, the start of school. We loved this time of year in our home because it meant School Supplies! It may even be tougher now than Father’s Day was. Every time I see a wall of calculators I think of you.
I think that fact, however, would not bother you at all. It would probably make you quite proud. You always did have a thing for calculators.
I love you.