About Me, Grief

Forever a Daddy’s Girl


Note from 2020: I’m sorry if you got this in your email this morning. I was republishing it on the anniversary of Dad’s death and evidently it emailed out even though I’m certain I turned that off. <insert frustrated sigh here>

I’m a daughter who today lost her Dad. The man who raised her alone in an era without the internet to answer his questions. Her Daddy, as she has always been (and will always be) a Daddy’s Girl. If you’re a Dad to a daughter, I’d like you to do something for me, if you don’t mind.

If your daughter is small, cuddle with her in bed tonight and let her tell you about her day. Be intrigued by her stories and probe for more details like you have heard nothing as amazing as her recounting her day. Or maybe just hold her in your lap while you tell her funny jokes. Tickle her until she giggles so hard she can’t breathe. Let her lay on your chest and listen to your heart while you wrap your arm around her and watch some TV. Do these things and know that someday she’ll pull those memories from the dark recesses of her mind because she probably will never feel as safe and secure as she does in your arms. The memories of that will bring her strength when the days are dark, as she imagines your strong arms protecting her.

If your daughter is a teenager, volunteer to take her shopping for her next big event. Do your best to get into it and let her try several things on to show you. Give her as much positive feedback as you can, even if you have no idea what you’re talking about. In the end she’ll make her own decision regardless of your input, but she’ll appreciate the effort you made. She’ll know how much patience it takes in the attempt to help her buy clothes and she’ll know it’s a gesture of nothing more than love. Someday she’ll remind herself of that when struggling to find common ground with her own teenagers. Remember, you can never tell her too often how pretty she is, and even if her teenage hormones cause her not to believe you. Just trust the sentiment will be one she holds dear for the rest of her life.

If your daughter is an adult, go get coffee with her. Ask her about her job and be sincerely impressed with her accomplishments. Sincerely impressed with her as an adult. If she has kids, be truly amazed by her parenting. You will probably never understand how much she values your approval, but know it is worth more to her than gold.

Do these things for me – a daughter whose Daddy did those things for her. And so, so much more. I could start today writing about the things that made my Dad the best father a girl could ask for, and I would not stop writing for years. And there would still be more to tell, more that I’ve forgotten over the years.

Hug your daughter today, for me. Because my Dad will never be able to hug me again.

I’ll miss you, Dad. Forever.

(Here’s the eulogy I ended up reading at my father’s funeral. It was one of the toughest things I ever did.)

312 thoughts on “Forever a Daddy’s Girl”

  1. Zoot, I’m so sorry for your loss. I’ll keep all y’all in my thoughts. You’re lucky to have had such a dad and I know he’ll always be in your heart.

  2. Big hugs to you and your family. I’m very sorry for your loss. This post was a beautiful tribute to your father and the relationship you had with him. I am glad that you had plenty of time to say goodbye – to make sure you said everything you needed to say. I am quite certain that he was very proud of you – there’s lots to be proud of!

  3. I’m so sorry Zoot. I’m thinking of you and your family. I hope that you get through the most difficult part of grief quickly so that you can always honor your Dad’s memory.

    So sorry.

  4. Oh, Kim. I wish I could hug YOU.

    I will squeeze all my babies extra tonight.

    I also promise to quit taking my parents for granted, something of which I have long been guilty.

  5. I am so sorry for your loss. Your Father is amazing and you were blessed with the time you shared. My heart breaks for you!

  6. Zoot, I’m so, so sorry for you and your family. I knew this post was coming, but that doesn’t make it any easier to read. He must have been a phenomenal Dad to raise a daughter who writes about him with such love. Wishing you and yours peace.

  7. Oh, love. I’m so sorry. And yet, I’m so glad that you had a dad as wonderful as yours. Thank you for sharing a bit of your relationship with him with the rest of us.

    This is a beautiful post to mark the passing of a wonderful dad.

    I’m thinking of you.

  8. I am so very sorry. Sitting here, hundreds of miles away from you, crying too. I wish there was more than just “I’m sorry.”

  9. Emily called me with the news this evening. May his soul rest in peace and that peace envelope you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you, especially while your here in Knoxville. Lots of love sent your way.

  10. I’m so sorry for your loss.

    That was beautifully written. You are lucky to have had such a wonderful Dad and you are the mother you are because of his parenting. You ARE passing on his memory and his spirit each day. Take comfort in knowing your children think of you how you think of him.


  11. Oh Kim, I am so sorry for your loss. I knew this day was coming and I’ve been so scared and wishing peace for you and your family everyday. Which is of course ridiculous because I don’t know any of you personally. If I feel this terrible I can only imagine the weight of your grief.

    I write this with tears in my eyes and will most definitely have my husband read this post. I have lost someone very close to me so i know that nothing I say will make it better. But I have enjoyed hearing your stories about your daddy and know from the ways you speak of him he must have been an awesome person to know and love! Everyone should have a daddy like yours, I know I’ve always wished for one and made sure that I found one for my own kids!

    You will be in our thoughts and have our deepest sympathies!

  12. I thought this was a beautiful tribute. I’m so sorry about the loss of your dad. From what you’ve written, he was an amazing, wonderful person.

  13. Oh, Kim, I am so, so sorry. I have been there.

    Your father sounds like an incredible man, and you can see the kindness in his face. The photos made me squeak and burst into tears right in my cube farm. What a beautiful photo essay and tribute.

    Words from a stranger might not do much, but I’m sending you and your family my best, and I am so, so sorry for your loss.

  14. Oh dear Zoot, I am so sorry for your loss. Know that I speak for many when I say I love you and wish you comfort and mercy during this very sad time.


  15. ouronlychance – This page is set up because 12-31-09 I started my first round of shots for our ivf. There are not a lot of high hopes for us.
    Tiffany says:

    you are in my thoughts today and everyday. I am sorry for your loss. this was beautiful.

  16. As someone whose dad has been in and out of the hospital with heart problems since grade school (I’m now 25), this post hit me hard. I’m always afraid that the next time might be the last time.

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family.

  17. Kim, I am so sorry for the loss that you and your fam are going through. From having been there I know that there aren’t the words to describe. Your post was a beautiful tribute to your father’s love. And your love for him. ((hugs))

  18. I’m so sorry to hear, I have tears in my eyes. I’m so glad that you have such a great Dad though, and just because you can no longer see him doesn’t mean he isn’t still there. Much love to you <3

  19. Metamophicshifts – Metamophic shifts comes from the idea of tectonic shifts. That is the the earth is in a constant state of change. Like the earth's very surface, we are constantly in a state of change whether we want to embrace that change or not. As a certified coach, I have a front row seat to the process of metamorphic shifts in humans. People cling to certain thoughts and beliefs about themselves. Coaching works as an activation mechanism to change, growth and transformation. I have spent my career exploring human nature through fundraising, recruiting, and most recently coaching and leadership development. I am a single working mother of two children who light up my world but have also taught me as many lessons as any work I have done. My other great joys in life including running, health and fitness, exploring the natural world, reading, writing, and learning as much as I can soak up about all of these topics. My hope here is to share some of my experiences, develop some action items for myself and maybe in turn help some readers, and really at the end of the day get myself to write and explore my voice a little more. Education and Certification: Bachelor of Science, Health and Fitness Management Masters degree, Public Administration CTI Certified (PCC) Coach IIN Certified, Health Coach EQi Certified Immunity to Change Facilitation Trained Keirsey & MBTI Experience
    Christina says:

    I am so sorry for your loss.

  20. I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers for comfort and peace are with you and yours.

  21. I’m so sorry. It doesnt make it easier but I’m glad that you were able to spend some time with your dad in the past few weeks.

  22. so beautiful and so heartbreaking. you were so lucky to have him, you know that. and he was so lucky to have you as a daughter. bless you.

  23. I’m so sorry for your loss. I have been thinking of you and praying for your family since you told us your dad was doing hospice. I’ll keep doing so as you go through the next few days, weeks, and months.

  24. well, I’m crying.

    My dad has cancer. We think he’ll be okay, but at the beginning and for a few months we really weren’t sure. It was the first time I really had to deal with my parents’ mortality and I really wasn’t ready for it. But I know I never will be. I’m really scared of losing my dad, but I think if I keep what you’ve written here in mind, I’ll be okay.

    I’m really sorry, Zoot. *fierce hugs*

  25. My thoughts are with you and your family tonight – no matter how prepared you think you are for this kind of loss, it’s incredibly painful and heartbreaking. I’m so sorry.

  26. I first read the news at your mom’s blog. There really isn’t anything else I can say but I’m sorry that your family are going through this!

    What a beautiful tribute post and pictures that you gave about your dad!

  27. I am so sorry for your loss and will be thinking about you. What a beautiful post and tribute to the special father/daugther bond.

  28. strongerthandirt – I am a high school mathematics teacher turned into stay-at-home-mom. My kids are 1, 3, and 3 (for now). I don't always have something interesting to say, but I usually have a picture (or 10) of my kids to show you.
    elena says:

    So sorry to hear about your dad. It’s always hard to know what to say to somewhere at a time like this, but no matter what I say, it doesn’t really help. The pain, grief, sadness, longing and love don’t change. Time eventually heals all of that, but it will always linger.

    I don’t know if you watch Grey’s anatomy. Somehow, I feel you don’t, but there was this one episode where a character lost his father. And I lost my mother in 2003 so this particular scene stood out to me. I hope it in some small way helps you.

    * Christina: “There’s a club. The dead dad’s club. And you can’t be in it until you’re in it. You can try to understand and try to sympathize, but until you feel that loss… (pause) My dad died when I was 9. George, I’m really sorry you had to join the club.”*

    * George: “I don’t know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn’t.”*

    * Christina: “Ya. That never really changes.”

    The scene continues to haunt me, but in a weird way it comforts me when I need it most. All that is to say, hang in there, Kim. You’re loved. Your dad was loved. And I am thinking of you.

  29. I’m so sorry for your loss Zoot. As a girl who has a Daddy that does all those things I’ve shed a tear for you. Next time I see my Daddy I’m going to hug him just a little bit harder.

  30. goofygirlblog – This is a test blog for <a href="http://design.goofygirl.org/" />Goofy Girl Designs</a> for those clients on a Wordpress.com blog. :) Outside of that I'm a med student by day and blog designer by night.
    goofy girl says:

    I’m really sorry for your loss. I lost my father last year, and just that pain and emptiness is just so awful. 🙁 You know in some ways it was for the better, and better that they not suffer, but you just want – one more moment to share your life and what you’ve done and become with them. Hugs.

  31. Your Dad was your Angel on earth and now he is your Angel in heaven, call upon him when you need him, feel lonely or just need a shoulder to cry on. His physical body is gone and will certainly be missed, but he lives through you and in you and share that with your children of the great man he was to you and everyone. Peace to you and your family.

  32. Oh Kim I’m so sorry. I’m literally crying while reading this because I am so sad for you and your family. The pictures of you with your dad and the kids are so cute and I’m so sad that he had to leave too soon. I’m sending positive thoughts and prayers to everyone right now and while it is bittersweet and sad, I’m glad to know the pain your dad was in is now done. I’m going to call my dad right now to tell him how much I love him. Please let me know if there is anything I can do from my little blog corner.

  33. I’m so sorry for your loss, Kim. I’m glad you have so many wonderful memories, and I know they will (eventually) be a comfort. But until then, just be gentle with yourself.

  34. Random Musings – Retired teacher. Wife. Mother. Grandmother. Friend. Community volunteer. Reader. Quilter. Knitter. Midwesterner. Addicted to my computer.
    Grandmere says:

    Your post is so beautifully written. Those precious memories will continue to comfort and sustain you. I am so very sorry for your loss.

  35. I feel for you and grieve with you in empathy especially since you KNOW his love is real. Your post reminded me that there are wonderful men in the world who truly love their daughters/sons and demonstrate it every day in every way. You surely are blessed to have been raised by such a man, and I hope that for every sad moment you experience now, ten others of memories of sweetness and joy crowd in all around.
    Prayers for peace and heart-healing go up for you.

  36. The tears are falling from my eyes despite my efforts to keep them back.

    I am so, so sorry for the loss of your Daddy.

  37. So so sorry. I don’t know what to say, even though I lost my dad nearly a year ago. It’s tragic; his illness was so fast. I’ll be thinking a lot about you and your family.

  38. I made the mistake of reading this in class. I’m crying.
    Beautiful, Kim ,really. I know you had a wonderfully special relationship with your dad, and I confess myself a little bit jealous. Thank you for sharing with us, and for that great, inspiring and surprisingly positive (simply because it’s a sad event) entry.

  39. snarkymommy – I am Amy S. When I got married, I was already an Amy S. Then I married Josh S. and after much deliberation and gnashing of the teeth, change
    SnarkyMommy says:

    I am so sorry. That was a beautiful post.

  40. Aw Kim… I am so sorry. I am such a daddy’s girl too, and I get loving him on a level that is indescribable. That love, it doesn’t go away. It exists in every moment that you think of him, and goodness knows that will be a lot. I’m here if you need anything, anything at all. Hugs.

  41. I am so sorry–from one Daddy’s girl to another. I teared up upon reading that first line. I can only imagine how you feel right now. Please know that this post is one of the more beautiful tributes I’ve ever read.

    You will all be in my prayers.

  42. Crying with you. I am positive that your dad read this post tonight, just as you’ve said he always keeps up with your blog, and is wishing he could hug you at least once more.

    Praying for peace for your family.

  43. I’m so sorry to hear the news. I was dreading reading this type of post… I hope you take comfort in the memories of your dad and you.

  44. I’m so sorry. I’m sure that he was a great man, in the way you speak of him.

    I’m thankful that you have three wonderful children that you can pass along that same love and those same warm hugs.

    Take care.

  45. Zoot, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I can tell by your words what a wonderful father he was to you. I am sure he is honored by your words about him.

    Take care.

  46. I was directed to your blog today by the lovely Angella – and I’m so glad she pointed me in your direction. I’m so, so sorry for your loss – I lost my own Daddy over a year ago and the time since he’s been gone has been a strange and difficult journey. I wish I could offer something to make your pain go away, but in all honesty, it’s a cross we have to bear because it proves how much they were loved.

    I wouldn’t want to make the loss easier by having less of a relationship with my dad…I’d rather go through the heartache since I know that he knew how important he was to me. And I’m sure your dad did too. My prayers are with your family.

  47. I am so very sorry, Kim. Which sounds so inadequate. What a beautiful post. It’s no wonder he was impressed by you. All of you are in my prayers.

  48. I am so sorry. It sounds like your dad was a wonderful man. You were so lucky to have each other. Love and prayers from St. Louis.

  49. Oh, I’m so sorry. I know that this was coming and expected, but I’m so sorry to hear that the day is here. I’m so happy that you had such a wonderful relationship with your dad. What a blessing that must be at this horrible time. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  50. I am so sorry for your loss. I will be thinking of you and your family, and I will remember to make memories. This post is such a beautiful, loving tribute to your father. Like so many others, I’m reading through my tears.

  51. My sincerest condolences. It is a great gift that you not only had a father like that but that you appreciated it for all it was worth.

  52. Kim,

    Knowing first hand how difficult it is to write a post like this- you did amazing!

    Thank you for sharing your life- AND HIS with us!

  53. This is the most beautiful way to honor your father. Thank you for sharing a tiny bit of your relationship with him here with all of us. I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

  54. I am so sorry to hear about your dad. He was a great man I know that he loved you very much. I love your comment about him, you are a wonderful writer. My grandmother (Helen Chandler) passed away and we are in Knoxville for the funeral on Wed. Let me know if I can do anything for you and your family. Love ya!!

  55. He sounds like a great Daddy.

    I’m so sorry for your loss, and I’ll be praying for peace for you and your family.

  56. From one daddy’s girl to the next I give you my most sincere condolences. I cried when reading this post because my daddy is everything you mentioned as well and I can’t even begin to fathom what you might be going through. You’re in my prayers.

  57. I’m a daddy’s girl too and my heart breaks for you. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Loving vibes going out to you…

  58. Oh Kim. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. What a beautiful tribute to your beloved father. I am immensely sorry for your loss.

  59. precious. you are precious! and even more precious to me!

    you’ve got an awesome network of friends on here that are thinking about you and you’re sweet family.

    i love you, girl!

  60. Beautiful post and a wonderful tribute in pictures to your dad.

    I’m sorry for your loss and keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.


  61. Oh zoot u got me so crying and thankful I had my dad for just 17 years all the memories will last longer than my lifetime

  62. Zoot, I am so sorry for your loss…. I love the pic with Nikki Z asleep in his arms. And Andy Z is the spitting image of him. Wishing you lots of strength.

  63. This is one of the most beautiful, moving tributes I’ve ever read. You are lucky to have had such a great daddy, and he was just as lucky to have such a wonderful daughter.

  64. superrelish – Melbourne – Who am I? Well I am a mum to 6 year old boy-child and 4 year girl-child and wife to man-child. I chose not to be defined as 'only a mum' and I work part-time. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mum and most of the time it is great fun but it is not only who I am. I know that I am a much better mum when I am not a mum 24/7. Work gives me an additional serving of sanity, sprinkled with stress and complemented by a paypacket. All in all, life is pretty good.
    del says:

    Thank you for such a beautiful post. Hugs to you and your amazing family.

  65. Zoot, I am so sorry. I can not begin to say anything that would help you right now, except to know that you and your family are in my thoughts today. He was a great man who raised a wonderful daughter. Thank you for sharing this part of your dad with us.

  66. I’m so sorry. It’s so wrenching to lose someone you love so much. It sounds like your dad really knew how to love his family.

    I’m sharing your advice for dads with my husband. I’m stunned that you can write this right now. Strong, well-loved woman you are.

  67. I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what you must be going through. It may make it even harder right now, but I’m so happy for you that you had such a wonderful relationship with your dad. *hugs*

  68. Hi, Zoot – I am so very sorry for the loss of your Dad. Your post was beautiful and you will be in my thoughts.

  69. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad 8 years ago in a similar situation – take comfort in knowing that you spent so much time w/him recently and he knows by your actions that you love him so.

  70. I am so very sorry, Kim. As everyone will say, there are no words. No words that can convey how deeply hurt and forever changed you are now. No words to convey our deep and true sympathy for you and your family. No words that could ever do justice to the love between a father and a daughter. But I offer you every ounce of good thoughts, feelings, love, compassion, care and sympathy that I can possibly muster today – I hope you find some sort of comfort in the knowledge that so many people from all over are here to try and hold you up in every ‘virtual’ way possible.

  71. I’m so sorry Kim. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family during this difficult time.

  72. Kim, I am so sorry for your loss. We are holding you and your whole family in the light over here.

  73. So sorry for your loss Kim, what a beautiful tribute to your dad…he sounds like he was an amazing man…my thoughts and prayers are with your family.

  74. I’m so so sorry for you. I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes. and i’m going to call my daddy, now.

  75. Hugs to you and your family- I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Your Dad sounds and looks like he was a tremendous guy. Thinking of you today, xoxo.

  76. oh kim, what a beautiful tribute to a wonderful man. we have you and your family in our thoughts and send love to you all from brooklyn. i’m so sorry for your loss.

  77. therealnanann – I am a 30-something mom to 2 beautiful girls (5 and 3) living in Austin. I LOVE quilting and have recently taken up sewing clothes since my 5-yr-old *only* wears dresses.
    nanann says:

    So so sorry for your loss Zoot.

  78. Oh Kim!! I am so sorry to hear about your loss!

    Your post is beautiful and will touch the hearts of everyone who reads it. And touch those of us that are Daddy’s Girls even more.

    P will be getting extra special attention from her daddy tonight, and mine will be getting bigger, longer, stronger hugs from me!!

  79. I’m so sorry about your loss, Zoot. Your dad sounds like a wonderful guy, from all you’ve said about him, and your relationship was enviable. I hope that your memories will bring you comfort.

  80. there aren’t enough words – there aren’t really ANY words – I’m just so deeply sorry for your loss, Zoot. I only know you through this blog, but in the 4 years I’ve been reading it’s always been so easy to see what an amazing relationship you have with your dad. I’m so sorry for your loss Zoot; your Dad seems like he’s the type of guy everyone would want to be THEIR dad, too. I hope the wonderful memories of him bring you and your family some comfort in this time.

  81. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. That was a beautiful tribute to your daddy. I will be sending thoughts and prayers your way today. So sorry.

  82. You have such amazing and wonderful memories and thoughts to share about your dad. I’m so sorry to hear that he passed. Your family is in my thoughts.

  83. I’m so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts. Hold on to those memories. That was a beautiful tribute to your dad.

  84. I am truly sorry for your loss. My own father just passed away two weeks ago, so I understand the pain that you feel. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  85. I am so very sorry for your loss.

    What a blessing it was to have him as your father, and for him to have you for a daughter. I couldn’t imagine a more beautiful tribute than what I just read.

  86. I am so sorry for your loss. But what beautiful memories you have – thank you for sharing them with us. You Daddy was obviously amazing, and did a great job raising you to be an amazing person.

  87. I’m so sorry for your loss. I read your website regularly, but have only commented once. Your post today moved me, as I lost my dad unexpectedly almost 7 years ago. I’d like to tell you that the pain will go away, but it never really does. I can’t tell you how many times something happens or I think of something and then I remember that my dad is no longer here to share it with. This, after 7 years. The thing I take most comfort in is those memories you referred to in your post. Those are the things that make me feel his presence and truly appreciate his impact on my life. Thank you for sharing these thoughts. I truly believe that by sharing your perspective, it will help those who have lost their dads. As my dad used to say to me when I was feeling down, Keep your chin up!

  88. I am so so sorry for your loss. I can’t say I know how you feel, losing someone this special has to be breaking your heart. My housemate loss her dad in early August, she said it was going to take awhile for it to sink in, and she still has her moments when it gets her down. It is OKAY to have those. It is okay. You have my continued thoughts and prayers.

  89. Oh and if you need anyone to talk to who has gone through this recently, I will gladly put you in touch with her.

  90. I am so sorry for the loss of your daddy. I too am forever a Daddy’s Girl even though it’s been 20 years since he died. I know you’ll cherish the memories and from everything you’ve written, I know your dad cherished you. May you find a little bit of peace during this time.

  91. twylitehope – From Mobile, AL, now live in Fairhope, AL - was raised as an Air Force brat and lived in several placed before coming back to Mobile. Went to school for psychology, got a job with developmentally disabled children. Worked there 8 1/2 years then got burned out. Now I am working in SEO and copywriting for websites. I'm trying to learn the field and become as much of a geek about this whole new area as possible. WIth the help of my husband (a programmer), I may be well on my way. In my spare time, I am active with several organizations, craft as much as possible, read, shop, and spend some time outside. I typically do not have time for all the things I really want to do and somehow I'm going to find time to blog. Am I nuts?
    Hope says:

    I know there is nothing anyone can say to make you feel any better about the situation, but I still want to wish you the best and offer my sympathy for what you are going through.

  92. candy – I'm Candace but sometimes I go by Candy. I am 23 years young and live in the middle of the #1 most boring state in the U.S. I've got two puppy dogs and the cutest azn boy in the world :)
    Candace says:

    Kim, I am so so sorry for your loss 🙁 This was absolutely beautifully written and gave me goosebumps and tears in my eyes. We’re expecting a girl in early May and the thought of her not having her Daddy sends chills down my spine 🙁 **hugs**

  93. This is such a beautiful post – I’m sorry for your loss but I’m so glad that you have so many great memories to marinate in forever and ever.

  94. Thank you so much for this post, it is SO beautiful and totally made me unleash a pregnancy-hormone fueled weeping fest on my unsuspecting dog.

    I am so sorry that you’ve lost your Daddy, and I know you must have such a difficult time ahead of you because of it. I hope you find all the love and peace you need to get through this, and that you always remember that he is watching out for you still.

  95. So sorry for you and your family Miss Zoot. It’s says a lot about your father as a man that he was such a good dad to you and grand dad to your kids. You’ll be in our thoughts.

  96. I am so very sorry, Kim. This post is absolutely amazing, just like your father. We’re thinking about you.

  97. I’m so sorry for your loss. That last photo broke my heart, and your post made me cry, for you and for all of us daddyless girls out there.

  98. A beautiful post, Zoot, I’m sending it to my husband right now. He needs to read it.

    I am so, so very sorry for your loss. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

  99. Kim, I’m so sorry for your loss. I know your family will sorely miss your dad, and I’ll be thinking of you guys.

  100. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. I’m in tears for you and hate to think that one day I’ll be where you are. I’m so glad you had such a wonderful dad and so sad your time with him on earth is through. I don’t know what the next life holds, if there is one, but I have to hope you’ll see him again.

    Thinking about all of you.

  101. I’m a long time reader, and you’ve been in my thoughts every day lately. As a Southern gal, I know how important Daddy is. I’m so very sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my heart.

  102. I’m crying. . . but what a beautiful, beautiful way to remember a wonderful father who clearly adored you. I am so sorry for your loss.

  103. Aww, Zoot, I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.

    This is one of the most beautiful pieces I’ve ever read. Your dad surely would have been proud of it and was so proud of you. I am lucky enough to have a dad very much like yours and I will make sure to give him an extra big hug next time I see him.

  104. I am so sorry for your loss. You, and your family, are in my thoughts.

  105. Cereal Dieter – A 30 year old dieter that has been dieting since she can remember... At times she was too thin, at times too fat. Now she is just trying to be healthy! And yeah, she has been on an all cereal diet before!
    Cereal Dieter says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my thoughts.

  106. I’m sending hugs to you today. From one Daddy’s girl to another. I know exactly how you are feeling. We bury my dad on Sunday.

  107. Zoot, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. It’s a rough time, and I give you and your family all the strength possible to get through this time together. *big, big hugs* Beautiful, moving post.

  108. What a beautiful tribute to dads and daughters. I am quite the Daddy’s girl myself and am absolutely weeping. I’m so sorry for your loss.

  109. Kim, that was a wonderful thing to read. Makes me love my dad even more. I am going to give him a call right now and tell him how much I love him and thanks for being my dad.

  110. Oh Kim — I’m thinking of you. What a wonderful post about your dad and dads in general. Daughters who have good strong relationships with their dads are so lucky. My best to you and your family.

  111. I’ve been reading you for years but have never commented…I’m really so sorry for your loss. It’s easy to see by your writing what a great guy he was.

  112. Oh Zoot. I went through this last year and I wish with all that I have that there was something I could say, anything at all, to make this any easier on you. But I know first hand that there isn’t. I miss my daddy too. I miss him tremendously and I wish he could hug me. Or call me. Anything, just to have him near me in some way. I’m sad for you Zoot. I’m sad for all those who’ve lost someone. But today I’m mostly sad for you.

  113. Miss Zoot, I can’t even say how sad I am for you and your entire family. I know how special your dad was to you…not only from what you have written here but the very first time I emailed you and you wrote me back you mentioned him. I know you two had a special bond. I know there are no words to help you through this very hard time. I guess just know that I’m thinking of you and your family.

  114. doctorbray – Lecturer, the University of Georgia Department of English. PhD in English (with a major concentration in Children's Literature), University of Louisiana at Lafayette, 2012. The views expressed on this page are note representative of the University of Georgia as an institution.
    Danielle says:

    Miss Zoot, I’m sorry for your loss and our thoughts and prayers are with your family.

  115. I’m a new reader to your blog and I’m so, so sorry for your loss. I’m a daddy’s girl too, so I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through. Take good care.

  116. Hi Zoot,

    Yesterday was my mom’s birthday. We lost her May 1st of last year, so it’s almost been a year. The tribute you wrote about your dad was beautiful, but I want mother’s to do the same thing with their sons and daughters. My kids are in their 20’s and have really been full of DRAMA (yes, boys in their 20’s still cause grief for their parents) this past week. But the next time I see them (the younger one tonight, the older one next week), I will hug them and do something special with them, just like I try to do everyday so they know how much they are loved and cherished because I know how much that means, not only when I am gone and just a memory, but everyday.

    Your Dad seemed like a great guy and he has left behind a daughter to carry that on.

  117. I am so, so sorry for your loss.

    My own father lost his fight with cancer a mere 6 months after a surprise diagnosis. Nothing anyone says will really *help* but there is a solidarity in knowing there are others out there who have gone through and come out the other side.


  118. Just in case it helps a little bit…I know how you feel. My Dad was everything to me too. I can promise you that is does get better, you will feel better eventually. Every day will be a little easier and you will eventually be able to tell your children how great he was without feeling like your going to suffocate.

  119. I felt something askew in the universe yesterday and had a hard cry. This must have been it.

    I am far, far from a Daddy’s girl, but the thought of my own father’s eventual death makes my heart skip a beat. I can’t imagine how devestating it must be for a Daddy’s girl.

    My thoughts are with you.

  120. Oh, Miss Zoot. I am so sorry for you and your family’s loss. It’s never easy. Not even when you have some time to prepare for it. You hold tight to those memories you have of your father. They will get you through.

  121. I am so, so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you. May you find some peace soon. So sorry.

  122. Miss Zoot, I’m so very sorry. You wrote such a touching tribute to your daddy.

    My parents were hardly more than egg and sperm donors, so I can’t really relate myself. But I do know of that special relationship because my daughter has it with her daddy. I can remember when she was small just standing back and watching them together. It was so amazing because I’d never seen that before. I am so thankful she had and has that (she’s 30 now).

    To me, you are a very special person who really cares for your family and friends. I see that each time I read your blog. It means a lot to me. I don’t comment often, but I do read often and please know you are special to many folks that you don’t know.

  123. Your dad sounds like a wonderful man–how lucky you were to have him in your life and in your children’s lives. I’m sorry he’s gone, but you’ll keep him alive in your memories.

  124. Wow, what a lucky girl you where and are…what a foundation, a legacy…that can not be taken away from you. Sorry for loss, []M

  125. I read your post literally with tears running down my face. I read your website everyday, and have been heartsick for you as I know the anguish you are going through. I lost my Dad from a massive heart attack 6 years ago. I would love to tell you that the pain and sorrow will disappear, but it never really does. It has become easier for me to control my emotions. Just remember “once a Daddy’s girl, always a Daddy’s girl”.

  126. Oh sweetie, I am crying for you. I never had a dad who loved me enough to try to be a daddy. You are so lucky to have been so loved and I can not imagine how hard it must be for you to have lost such a special man. My heart is hurting for you and your family. You have been and will continue be in my thoughts hon. Big Hug to all of you.

  127. Rachael1013 – Bellingham, WA USA – Sassy, fiery, tattooed bookworm, kinda-geek-girl, big heart, movie buff, mama to 2 crazy boys, photographer, windows down car singer following the thread of hope into a new phase of life. The written word is in my blood.
    Rachael says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. Your Dad sounds like he was amazing.

  128. Kim, I’m so very sorry for your loss. It sounds like you had a wonderful dad and shared so much with him.

  129. I am so so very sorry for your loss. My dad died suddenly when I was 24, and I can remember it like it was yesterday even though it’s been 7 years. You will be okay, even if you feel like you won’t right now.
    Your dad will live on through you and your children.
    Hugs to you…

  130. I’m so sorry, Kim. May this be a time of healing for you and your family. I hope that time dulls the pain but not the vivid memories for your dad.

    Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

  131. I am so so sorry.

    It’s so clear from this post that you and your father were so lucky to have each other and that he was a wonderful father/man/human being. Thank you for sharing this tribute with us and I’ll be thinking about you and your family.

  132. Frequent reader, but a lurker. I’ve been following your stories about your dad. I am so sorry, my heart aches for you. I hope that you and your family may someday find peace.

  133. Grape – I've got the world's best kids and husband. Great house, steady job. I'm living the American dream. The trick is to appreciate it. I'm working on that part.
    Julie says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

  134. beautiful job on this post, girl…..though your dad would think you gave him way too much credit. 🙂

    i love you and am giving you a huge hug even from so far away.

  135. I’m in tears for you. I am so sorry to hear about your loss and I know you have tons and tons of beautiful memories to cherish. XOXO

  136. Swistle – Thistleville – Swistle lives with her husband Paul and children Robert (born 1999), William (born 2001), twins Elizabeth and Edward (born 2005), and Henry (born 2007). Email: Swistle at Gmail dot com. "Swistle" rhymes with "thistle."
    Swistle says:

    I’m so sorry.

  137. I’m so, so sorry for your loss. This was such a beautiful post and such a loving tribute to your dad. I’m sending you virtual hugs and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  138. Thank you for reminding all of us what really matters in these crazy times. Your grief touches us all, but your advice ripples far beyond those who read your words.
    You and your family are in my prayers.

  139. Oh, honey. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts. Your dad sounds incredible and you were so blessed to be raised by him.

  140. ebj123 – I'm almost 34, and I had to use google to figure that out. I'm married to a geologist. I'm a stay at home mom. I love to read. I love to coo
    Elizabeth says:

    Oh Miss Zoot, I am so so sorry.
    He sounds like such an amazing dad.

  141. corazondeswiss – I'm a 20-something Florida girl. I love my family, friends, spending time with them, my pets, the Florida Gators, learning, my artistic pursuits, traveling, reading (books, magazines and blogs!). I'm an occupational therapist with advanced coursework in low vision rehabilitation. I've practiced in low vision, skilled nursing and now I'm the only full time OT in a 400+ bed hospital. I'm impatiently awaiting a proposal from my boyfriend of 4 years.
    Brie says:

    Oh, my heart hurts for you. Much love to you and your family during this difficult time.

  142. I’m so sorry. Your dad must’ve been a really incredible father. I wasn’t close to my dad and that still saddens me.. He passed away three years ago and I still can’t believe it’s been that long already. Thank you for sharing the pictures and showing us a little bit about your dad. I hope your memories of times spent with him help you through this tough time. Hugs to you and your family.

  143. Oh, Miss Zoot. I’m so sorry for you and your family. What you’ve laid out here is a blueprint for being a good father and you were a lucky, lucky woman that you got your dad. But you know that.

    Keep those lessons close, and that will be the best legacy he could have left.

  144. all my prayers and beautiful thoughts with you and your beautiful family…i can only imagine what you are going through, and am so sorry for your loss.

  145. Hey Zoot,

    I’ve been reading your site for over two years and have never commented. I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry about your dad and hope that you are okay. Good luck and god bless.

  146. I’m so, so sorry for your less. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family in this difficult time.

  147. I’m so very sorry for your loss.

    And now I’m going to hug my daughter and apologize for yelling at her and sending her to bed early for talking back tonite. I feel like an ass, now.

    Take care.

  148. Kim,

    This post was so beautiful and touching. I’m so sorry for your loss. {{{{{{{{{{{Hugs }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  149. meonlyless – Stay at home Aunt! Sounds funny but I watch my sister and brothers kids.. yep at home. I get to spend time with them while they are little and would not miss it for the world! Also gives me time to sew, craft and do small room makeovers!
    Lisa says:

    Im so sorry! My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  150. I’m sooooo sorry to read your news. I can’t even bring myself to read the whole entry because I know it would make me bawl.

    Hugs from Canada.

  151. I’m so sorry, Kim. What a beautiful tribute. I love the photos, it seems that you had his eyes.

  152. A beautiful post, that I cannot finish reading because of the tears streaming down my face.
    I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family.

  153. Hey Miss Zoot

    I am so sorry for your loss. I know it’s not really the same but today would have been my G-ma’s birthday and she passed away in November last year.

    I read your post and I think I might just have to go see my Dad this evening. Originally I was going home to get sorted for band practice but I think my Dad is so much more important.

    Thank u

    Hugs x

  154. What a wonderful tribute, Kim. I’m so sorry for your loss. Your dad sounds like an amazing man who was truly meant to be a father. Thinking of you.

  155. jen @ negative lane – Feminist. Teacher. Mom. Trophy Wife. Traveler. Reader. Writer. Indie Music Fan. Hiker, Biker, Runner. Recovering Infertile. Caffeine Junkie.
    jen @ negative lane says:

    I’m so sorry about your dad. I’m keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

  156. This is such a beautiful post. I am so sorry for your loss. You and your family are my thoughts and prayers.

  157. This is the first time I have visited your blog but two of my blog friends shared out your post. I am heartbroken for you. I lost my dad when I was 19.

    I’m so sorry.

  158. Kim,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I am also a daddy’s girl. I’m glad you have so many fond memories of yours.
    Take care,

  159. Oh Kim! My heart goes out to you. I am so so so so very sorry for your loss. What a beautifully touching tribute to your father. I’m sure he’s very proud of you! *hugs*

  160. Here via a shared item in google reader.

    As I finished your post, I stood up, and while walking away from my laptop said to my wife, “I know you don’t like me doing this sort of thing after she’s in bed, but I just have to.”

    I went up the stairs and climbed into bed with my recently turned four year old daughter. I held her in my arms and kissed her cheeks and scratched her back (something she loves).

    “I love you princess, so very much.”

    In her 99% asleep state, she replied, “I love you too, Daddy, and thank you.”

    Thank you, Miss Zoot, for sharing this. I am very sorry for your loss.

  161. Hi Kim, I said a prayer for you and wish you peace in this time. I lost my dad 9 years ago. It doesn’t matter that you’re an adult, the little girl inside will always miss her daddy, and that’s okay.

  162. miss zoot — your father sounds amazing and i am so sorry to hear the news of your loss. i hope you find peace during this tough period and find solace in your memories. im so sorry.

  163. Hi Kim,

    I’m so very sorry for your loss. It’s hard when people say I”m sorry, I know how you feel when you know that they really have no clue. But, know how you feel. lost my father when I was 19. He was 43. That was 20 years ago.

    I do pretty well most of the time but just reading your post made me cry. It gets easier over time, but I sure wish I could tell you that it would faster than 20 years.

    You are a strong woman with a lot of support. Keep you head up and you know where I am if you want to talk.

  164. I am so sorry for the loss of your father. It is so hard to understand why someone so wonderful has to get sick. You have great memories of him to keep in your heart forever and to pass on to your kids. Your family is in my thoughts at this very difficult time.

  165. I am very sorry for your loss. I agree with this comment “Daughters who have good strong relationships with their dads are so lucky.” If more dads were like yours the world would be such a better place. You are so lucky to have such wonderful memories of your father. Thank you for sharing.

  166. So sorry for your loss, my condolences to your entire extended family. He sounds like he was a wonderful father.

  167. I thought I had commented but I don’t think I did. Sending my condolenses and hugs your way during this difficult time! You’ll be in my thoughts!!


  168. Today I was thinking about you (a total stranger) and wondering if you were doing ok and how your dad was doing so I came to your blog.

    I’m very sorry for your loss. I know I have nothing to offer that is going to soothe your pain but I’ll be thinking and praying for you to have the strength you need to get through this.

  169. I am so sorry for your loss. The post brought tears to my eyes and clarified exactly for me what I missed out on in life.

  170. Your dad looks like he was a gem. Hope you all get to say goodbye with some smiles among the tears.

  171. I am so, so sorry for your loss, Kim. My thoughts will be with you. I am so glad you had such a blessed relationship with your dad. xo

  172. This was beautiful. You had a wonderful father. I did not really know him, but I know you and your brother and therefore I know he must of been a wonderful man. I know he is gone in body but I know he is and will always be with you in spirit. I did not have my dad and therefore missed those things but I have felt his spirit with me when I needed him and know he has watched me and my life unfold just as your father is watching you and those beautiful children. Much love always.

  173. So sorry to hear about your father. It’s good to hold on to those special memories & treasure up that he was able to meet all your children. Neither my father nor my husband’s mother will ever get to meet our kids, which is not to take away from what you’re going through. I just understand that the memories are precious and that you’ll miss his prescence at every significant event from now on.

  174. I am so so sorry for your loss and just sitting here trying not to start bawling. Take care. Those photos are beautiful!

  175. What a beautiful tribute. 🙂

    I sometimes read through your wonderful blog and I just have to say, your boys, LilZ and AndyZ, resemble your Dad’s features in so many ways. He continues to live in them.

    I am so sorry for your loss.


  176. planetnomad – We didn’t mean to become nomads ourselves but things seem to be working out that way. We’re an American family who lived nearly 6 years in Nouakchott, Mauritania, located where the sands of the Sahara meet the waters of the Atlantic. Along the way we spent a year in the French Alps, a year in Oregon, and then two years in Rabat, Morocco. We’re currently back in Oregon. This blog chronicles the various aspects of our lives, from adjusting again to the US (easier said than done) to the kids experiencing American schools for the first time.
    edj says:

    What a beautiful tribute to your father. I’m sorry for your loss.

  177. Hi, I couldn’t find an email addy for you on your blog. So, I’ll leave it as a comment.

    I run with Team in Training, which is a sports program that trains for endurance events and raises money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society.

    I’m entering my 3rd season and I’d like to honor your dad as one of my personal Honored Heroes, but only if its OK with you & your family.

    Please email me when you can if you are interested.


  178. I am very sorry for your loss. But you are not alone. I am a 12 year old girl who lost her father just recently on April 27,2010. I was the WORST thing that can happen to anyone especially knowing how close we were. :'(
    It will take time to get through it. It’ll probably take my whole life to get through my loss knowing that he won’t be there for my graduation, sweet 15, wedding, first child, etc. But I’m glad that he lived his life to the fullest with me and I will ALWAYS cherish the good and fun moments we had together. 🙂
    R.I.P PAPI 4.27.10 ILYSM n MISS YOU :'( :-*

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