Parenting

Sleepy-Time Me Is |thisclose| To Becoming A Felon

Yesterday MrZ and I were discussing AndyZ’s horrible nighttime sleep habits as of late. This is how the conversation went:

Me: Did you hear me freak out last night when he woke up for the millionth time?
Him: Yeah. I almost said something to you, but the smarter side of me took over and stopped.
Me: What did you almost say?
Him: I almost said something like, Why are you freaking out? It’s the first time he’s woken up.
Me: Good thing you didn’t say that. I can honestly say I would have punched you in the face. For real.

I am very much a morning person. Even if morning is 3am. Once I’m up for the day, and have had my first cup of coffee, I hit the ground running. I can do quite a bit the first few hours of the day and not really be in a bad mood about it. However, before that first cup of coffee? Don’t talk to me. Seriously. Saying that I’m not a nice person would be an understatement. I’m an angry hateful person who is likely to push you down the stairs if you speak. Which is why our house has no stairs.

Now, take that side of me and multiply it by 14 trillion? And that’s the evil me that get’s woken up throughout the night. Actually, if it’s every 2-3 hours? I’m not so bad. But if it’s more than every hour? Then I become deranged. There have been many times during Sleep Torture 2008 that I’ve thought about “accidentally” pushing MrZ out of the bed so that I’d feel better. Notice I didn’t say I wanted to push him out of the bed so he’d take care of the baby, that would do no good (most of the times the only thing that consoles him is the boob), but pushing him out of the bed for no reason? Always seems like it would make me feel SO HAPPY.

Lucky for him, I haven’t tested that theory yet.

Last night MrZ took care of AndyZ from about 7pm-10pm so I could get some uninterrupted sleep. Yes. I went to sleep a little after 7pm last night. And I’m DAMN PROUD of it.

MrZ’s motto is: Anything To Keep Her From Punching Me In The Face While I’m Sleeping.

He’s a smart man.

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NikkiZ has the same hatred for having her picture taken that I do for being woken up. Expect her to punch me in the face sometime soon.

20 thoughts on “Sleepy-Time Me Is |thisclose| To Becoming A Felon”

  1. So very sorry. I don’t wish NO SLEEP on anyone.

    Sad that she doesn’t like to be photographed. She is quite photogenic.

  2. I am the meanest person ever when I am woken up. It is well known in my family to give me a couple minutes to myself of I might possibly murder you…Maybe I should be working on this with the baby coming and what not…

  3. Three whole hours of uninterrupted sleep? I’m so jealous. Ha,ha. If I leave the little one with DH for over 10 minutes he’ll come back with her and say “she’s hungry” even if she just ate. Nice try buddy.

    I hear you on the sleep though. My “wake up once” baby is now up 2-3 times and of course wants to nurse back to sleep. So I get her out of her bed and bring her to ours. Then the next time she wakes up, she’s beating on me. It’s almost funny if I weren’t so tired. Little hands and legs flopping everywhere….if only I could get her to hit DH once in a while, all would be well.

    This too will pass, this too will pass……

  4. I am so not a morning person!!! I spend like most of the morning in my own little world just to avoid talking to people. Where as CJ jumps out of bed and is on the go straight away and wants to know my opinion on stuff 30 seconds after i’ve woken up!

  5. I’m with you on needing my coffee! I think I am a morning person, but the absolute first thing I do when I wake up is pour myself a cup of coffee, everything else comes second (toddler, husband, dog, bathroom). I usually go to the bathroom drinking my coffee, I would take it in the shower with me if I could figure it out. My husband will offer me “coffee breaks” during my shower where he’ll bring my coffee from the sink and I’ll lean out of the shower have a sip and go back to showering…is that too much?

  6. Um, pushing him out of the bed is a perfectly reasonable response. Mind you, I’m not saying that you SHOULD. Just that it’s reasonable.

  7. What in the world is in the air for babies lately? Maybe it’s the time change, but Madeline has been the same way. Up every 1-2 hours, just wanting to be rocked and comforted.

    I am gritting my teeth and waiting for it to pass, because she’s got something of a cold, poor bunny. BUT STILL. You have a smart husband there.

  8. This makes me feel better – I am an insomniac, and sometimes when I can’t sleep I not only find myself ragingly jealous of (and angry at) my sleeping fiance… you know, because he’s ASLEEP and I’m not… but I find myself wanting to “accidentally” kick my sleeping cat so that he’ll be awake too. My misery, let me share it with you.

  9. We should start a club. The Mahem in the A.M. Club, or something. We would never meet, never speak to each other before 9:00, and never wake each other up. And send each other coffee for Xmas.

  10. I get irrationally irritated when my hubby “helps” by getting up and picking her up to comfort her. My brain says he only does it so I can’t angrily accuse him of never having to get up w/ her. He knows he will be back to me in 2 minutes because the boob is the only way to calm her. He is a good guy so i know he wants to help but until he starts lactating it is all on me at 1am.

  11. sleep is a good thing. i wish i could get sleep. i may not have a kid, but i am no good until the afternoon…even after the coffee.

  12. I am the SAME DAMN WAY! And my husb is the SAME DAMN WAY as MrZ! Ha! who knew – WE are NORMAL, Zoot! If our daughter, who is two, wakes even once in the middle of the night, I’m all “OMFG, are you KIDDING me?!?!!?” I drop F-bombs, I ask “why me? WHY ME?!?!?: repetedly. and most of the time she either goes back to sleep on her own, or needs less than five minutes of love and she’s back out. But if it’s before the time I have decided I want to get up, it really, really annoys me. and my husband is usually hiding somewhere, cowering in fear that I will take it all out on him. Becuase I am not as nice as you and I have “accidently” shoved him so hard he fell out of bed 🙂 i more than made up for it later though, promise!

  13. Yeah, ditto over here. Only I’m not smart enough to put myself to bed at 7 p.m.

    Your girl gets prettier every single day. She is such a little cutie.

  14. BTDT, and have lived to pass through to the other side. I am SO GLAD to know I’m not alone in the “I’m going to murder someone, even if it’s my beloved dotter, who woke me up YET AGAIN, dammit!” camp. But I am here to say, yes, Virginia, there *is* peace and quiet and uninterrupted sleep on the other side.

    But, um. I’m not going to tell you how long it took. You don’t want to know. Really.

  15. When I was still BFing Elliot, my husband and I did a similar thing. He watched the boy from about 10 pm until 2 (b/c that’s when E liked to be WIDE AWAKE) and I was get some sleep. It really worked well but not that the kid’s on a normal sleep schedule, I am the one always up in the AM with him b/c I can get up early but my husband is awful at it. He just can’t. Sigh. It’s the trade-offs, I guess.

  16. Since our little guy was born 2 months ago, my husband has been sleeping with the toddler in his double bed. He has not been interrupted at night by a crying baby ONCE. Not one.time.
    I’ve engineered it this way so that if he dares suggest HE is tired I can legally punch him in the face. Because let’s be honest, he pulled the same “oh? did he have a bad night” crap with son #1 when we were all in the same bedroom. And this also allows me to make him do an early shift, like your Huz, every once and a while so I can sleep for a few hours in a row.
    Ah, the psychosis of sleep deprivation. At least we have the caffeine. Amen.

  17. So sorry about the sleep situation – hopefully it will get better soon. I’m glad your husband is helping out… seems like an obvious thing, but I know a lot of them who don’t. Here’s to no one getting punched in the face.

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