Parenting

Dude. I’m Awesome. SERIOUSLY. I’m not even being sarcastic!

As I’ve mentioned before – I’ve spent this entire week just barely keeping things afloat. AndyZ has not had a bath since Tuesday (or was it Monday? Let’s pretend it was Tuesday) and that was given by MrZ. We’re all down to the DANGER! level of clean clothes. Meaning today we’re all wearing stuff that doesn’t fit or has stains. (Which – let’s be honest – all of my clothing is stained.) Luckily, MrZ and I have at least been able to keep the family fed at night. For the most part.

After coming home from work last night I had to make an emergency grocery store run for oatmeal and milk. I’ve mentioned before that I rarely carry an umbrella because I just don’t usually care about getting wet. I hate dealing with umbrellas when they don’t usually keep everyone under it that dry anyway – it’s nearly impossible to keep kids under an umbrella. So, when we left Super Target last night with a buggy full of groceries and saw it was raining (it wasn’t when we got there) I just laughed. Laughed and laughed because that is JUST MY LIFE lately. NikkiZ thought it was funny walking in the rain too, but for totally different reasons than I did. Her laughter was fueled less by insanity and more by the pure joy of being in the rain.

I was also laughing because I was pretty sure we made a strange site walking out to our van at the end of the parking lot. Which is where I park now for reasons that require a whole entry to themselves. I could tell people were torn between feeling sorry for us – caught out without our umbrella – and thinking that maybe the woman pushing a buggy full of groceries with an infant in a carseat and a toddler on her hip – that woman who was also laughing hysterically? Who appears to be parked in the back of the lot even though there were dozens of free spots closer? That woman might be a little crazy.

Then, we had to go pick up LilZ at the library and I had forgotten my cell phone to call him know when we got there. So, I had to drag both kids out in the rain AGAIN and into the library. By now? We’re beyond wet. LilZ saw us and panicked because (a) Why were we inside and not calling him? Did he miss our call? Is he in trouble? and (b) Why are they SO WET? He grabbed AndyZ’s carseat and helped us all get back out to our car. I’m so glad that’s his first instinct and not to be severely embarrassed by our hobo appearance. He would have been justified as a teenager to just mumble to us to that he would meet us after he checked out and to get back out to the van. That’s what the teenage me would have done – for the record. But the teenage me was quite a bitch.

So, he checked out and helped us out to the car. It stopped raining by the time we got home. Again – THIS IS MY LIFE. Fun night to add to a stressed out week, right?

Well…this morning finished it off with a bang and totally UNDID the dread of the week. See? The alarm didn’t go off at 5am like it usually does. I typically don’t need the alarm and wake up much earlier naturally, but this has been a week of late nights that have been catching up with me. So, sans alarm, I woke up at 6am. We usually leave at 6:20am. I freaked and jumped out of bed saying, “Eff! The alarm didn’t go off! We’re going to be SO LATE!” Except – I actually USED THE REAL F-WORD. Can you believe it? I never drop that bomb, but seeing how late we were this morning? Brought it out of me.

Now for the amazing part. The part I will forever wear as one of my most glorious moments as a mother. We pulled out of the driveway AT 6:30. Only 10 minutes late. I got myself and three kids up and read in THIRTY MINUTES. If I wasn’t a nursing Mom and could have just given AndyZ a bottle to feed himself? It would have been even earlier. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? I was so proud of myself I told the director of the school the second I walked in with my kids. “I got everyone ready and out of the house in THIRTY MINUTES this morning! THREE KIDS! GO ME!” And yes – one is a teenager so you would think he’s pretty easy. But – he’s a teenager who takes longer to get going in the mornings than I do. So, for all of us to be up and out in 30 minutes? That accomplishment right there undoes all of the crap I screwed up this week. I have ended this week on a very successful Mom note, don’t you think?

I will be buying myself a giant cookie today that says Mom Of The Year on it. And I will not be doing it sarcastically. For once.

22 thoughts on “Dude. I’m Awesome. SERIOUSLY. I’m not even being sarcastic!”

  1. After the week you’ve had, I think you deserve a beer. You rock! I can’t get my husband out of the house under an hour.

    I hope you have a great weekend.

  2. Awww. After a week like that you deserve more than cookies! Getting out of the house in 30 mins. totally rocks though. We’ve done it once. Or twice, maybe. Anyway, go Zoot! Hope today and the weekend are much better and stress free.

  3. I can’t even laugh at this, I feel so sorry for you.

    I think that Mr.Z should take you out to dinner this weekend… or at least movies & pizza after the crew is in bed! You deserve it for surviving, not to mention the awesome fluorish at the end of the week!

    Happy Friday, Zoot!!

  4. YOU ARE AWESOME !

    it’s amazing what we can accomplish under pressure!

    Get your self a big giant goooey cookie!

    mel

  5. That is AWESOME! I have a hard time getting myself up and out in half an hour, so I’m impressed! (Side note, did you ever see “Over the Hedge?” I’m just thinking of the little squirrel saying, “But I like the cookie…”)

  6. In kindergarten, my oldest told the teacher her favorite food was broccoli. And THEN? When I bought some at the store and served it for dinner she ate it VOLUNTARILY.

    To my knowledge, she hadn’t tried it before then.

    I totally gave myself the credit though.

    Rock on with your bad self and have a great weekend!

  7. Go you!! You need to write an entry about how you actually do that, because I am chronically late in the morning. And I don’t even stay up late. Lazy? Probably. Sigh. May I have a cookie anyway?

  8. I it today too. i woke up at 9:30, and son has to be to daycare by 10am, or its a no go.
    I got up got him dressed, actually got him a little food (nutrigrain bar) in his tummy, and got him there with 10 minutes to spare!

    woo-hoo go us.

  9. I’m sure you know it has been a hell on wheels week for everyone because…………….

    IT WAS A FULL MOON….

    I even had a blog-stalker walk right up into my front freakin yard…..first thing I did when I got him out of my yard was go directly to the calendar….yup FULL MOON.

    My kids have shown that tendency toward weird behavior this week as well… I kid you not IT IS ALL ABOUT THE FULL MOON

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