Nighttime Delusional Inspirations

AndyZ decided about 12:30am last night that he would like to stay up for a few hours and just hang out. He wasn’t fussy or cranky, he just was awake. I fed him (a lot, praying it would put him back to sleep) and changed his diaper and rocked him, but all he wanted to do was hang out. And be adorably awesome in every way. I found myself really enjoying the time, even though I was SO TIRED.

I found myself using the semi-quiet time to ponder the fact that I was up at an ugly time of night, yet I wasn’t upset about it. With NikkiZ, I was usually crying if she wasn’t letting me sleep. Yet – there I was – just enjoying it. All because I thought for a split second, “Hey. He’s being cute. I’m digging this.” As opposed to focusing on, “Hey. He’s keeping me awake and I’m exhausted so I’m going to have a breakdown.”

So – I started pondering the power of THOUGHT. And how, if I could change my moods with a clear thought, I’d be in good shape. I found myself really making a plan to stay positive and if I felt like I was getting overwhelmed or losing my patience, to just turn that thought around and find a reason to enjoy the moment. By the time AndyZ fell back to sleep THREE HOURS LATER, I felt like a new woman. I was ready to conquer the next day with my new outlook on life.

And then NikkiZ woke up at 6am. Two-and-a-half hours after AndyZ fell back to sleep. I suddenly wasn’t so inspired or motivated to stay positive. Instead, I was cursing and mumbling and grumbling across the house and to her bedroom. I grouchily said, “I’ll give you breakfast when I’m done feeding your brother,” when she asked for oatmeal. I grumpily fixed her breakfast and mumbled while feeding AndyZ.

I’m thinking those nighttime thoughts were mere delusions brought on by extreme exhaustion. It was fun while it lasted. Maybe I’ll try to implement those middle-of-the-night life changes some other day. Today I think I’ll just be grumpy.

10 thoughts on “Nighttime Delusional Inspirations”

  1. heh. I’m the opposite. If I’m woken I CANNOT find the positive in it. I’ve even scolded Girl! for waking me at 230 (she’s almost 2 – can the midnight wake-up session JUST END ALREADY??!?! is what I belive I ususally say) but then when I wake up I decide being bitchy isn’t going to fix anything, and there’s nto point in being negative, and I try to remain psoitive, and sometimes it works. But then 230AM comes and a certainly beautiful baby-girl starts crying and well…grumble.

    hang in there Zoot!!!

  2. LOL! I remember writing a post very similar to this one approximately one year ago when my second was about a month old and awake! and happy! at 4a.m. 😉 (followed by the three-year-old waking up at 6:30.)
    I love that we moms all share the same crazy thought processes sometimes…. it’s one of the things blogging has taught me that I probably wouldn’t otherwise know!

    You are an awesome mom. 🙂

  3. Hey, I say any small attitude adjustments towards the positive are a good thing. Don’t beat yourself up. That newborn exhaustion is a growing snowball that deserves respect. Good thoughts help you keep perspective, but they can’t erase the physical reality. Gee…I’m helpful, aren’t I?
    I’m inspired by your moments of clarity and hope I find some of my own when I’ve got the new baby and the toddler this fall…

  4. Oh don’t be grumpy!! It isn’t good! Actually every once in awhile it is okay. Positive thinking takes a bit, I do try it from time to time and it does work. Sometimes it is too much work. You need to push your hubby out of bed and tell him to get up and take care of your daughter because you were up all night taking care of your son!! Get some rest girl!

  5. I kind of loved the middle of the night quiet time with my babies, too… but waking up the next day was always always bad. Oh, new baby days!

  6. He doesn’t look so grumpy there. Nice bracelet. Lil’bug still wakes up every night, crawls into bed with us, and does her best imitation of a compass at the North Pole. Usually the feet end up at Daddy’s head and I get head-butted. I think I prefer the head rather than getting kicked in the head. He doesn’t think it’s one of her finest qualities. I have to say I agree.

  7. My younger son did this and I stayed up with him for a few nights and then I realized he could just lie there awake and be fine, so I started going back to sleep (after his needs were taken care of) even though he was awake. I think I needed to do that for my own sanity.

  8. He is just so pretty. He’ll probably hate that cowlick one day, but I think it is utterly adorable.

  9. Oh gosh. I remember those days vividly. I would do much the same as you. I’d be positive, and enjoy some one on one time with just one child…go back to sleep, and then the alarm would go off. All of my good intentions just flew out the window with the dishwater.

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