Thing 2

Running with Scissors

So, something happened the other day that I must tell you about. I’m hoping the response will not be, “You are such and idiot and do not deserve children.” I’m hoping it will be more like, “Oh, DUDE. That’s nothing. Here’s my story.”

On Sunday, before we put together NikkiZ’s room, MrZ was hanging the curtain rod so that I could pin the curtains to the right length. I had the unfinished panels in my lap and thinking, “Well – I could trim the extra fabric while I wait.” So – what did I do?

“Hey. NikkiZ. Go get Mama’s scissors next to her sewing machine.”

Wait. It gets worse.

When she came into the room with a pair of scissors. Did the image of my toddler carrying scissors remind me how toddlers should not carry scissors? No. All I thought was, those are the wrong scissors. So – I said, “No. Not those, the other ones.” At that point MrZ tuned in and turned around and reacted like a normal parent would. He grabbed the scissors out of her hand and exclaimed, “No! No! We don’t carry scissors, only let Mommy or Daddy do that.”

Then it hit me. Shit. I just kinda told my toddler to run with scissors.

MrZ obviously missed the entire exchange because he kept reinforcing the point to her how dangerous it is that she carry scissors. I kinda just wanted to leave it at that and be all, “Yeah! What he said!” But – I didn’t. I stopped him and said, “Um. I’m sorry. I told her to do that. I wasn’t thinking.”

Now that I’ve made myself look like a total idiot, let me give a little bit of an explanation: I forget how young NikkiZ is sometimes. She has developed such conversational skills (although I sometimes don’t understand her) and she helps me do so much (vacuum, dusting, cooking) that I often forget she’s only two. For a split second I just thought, “Here’s another task she can help me with and she loves to help!”

It’s a good thing I wasn’t needing the chainsaw for anything. Jeezus.

37 thoughts on “Running with Scissors”

  1. That sounds like something I would do, absolutely. I don’t have kids yet, though, so now I’m just limited to stupid stuff that might harm my kitten? Like when she scratches me in the middle of the night and I’m not awake enough to realize that in reflex I basically just threw her off the bed. πŸ™

  2. Dude – that’s nothing! NikkiZ is 2.5 – that’s BASICALLY an adult. Girl! is 19 months. It never occoured to me to NOT have her help me put away dishes (like NikkiZ, my girl loves to help me out. both a blessing and a curse) until my husb just about pooped his pants when he saw her handing me knives. Yeah, they were butter knives, but knives nontheless. And then the other night, I was holding her as I made bacon. It did not occour to me that this was a bad idea until hot grease shot up and got me in the arm. luckily it got me. I’m not gonna hold her while frying artery clogging meats anymore. So yeah, don’t feel stupid! That’s MY job πŸ™‚

  3. I would have done the same thing. And my girl has such an independent streak, that it’s impossible to keep her from doing things like fetching scissors, or bringing you your steaming hot cup of coffee that you happened to leave in the next room.

  4. I would totally do something like that.

    I asked Carter to help me set the table one night and proceeded to hand him GLASS cups to put on the table. He got it right to the edge of the table before it slipped out of his hands and shattered at his feet.

    We’ve all done something similar. Don’t fret about it!

  5. I don’t have kids, but I totally wouldn’t have realised either. I have a fairly careless attitude to life.

  6. Dude, I can’t believe I’m going to share this on the internet, BUT…Cindy-Lu loves to play with her brother’s round tipped school scissors. They aren’t very sharp and it’d be pretty difficult to hurt yourself with them, so I let her cut paper to her hearts content. The other night she was put to bed and she usually hops right back down and plays in her room for about an hour and as long as she stays in there and is quiet I don’t mind. Well, that night she creeped out and snatched the scissors and paper off the table and told me she was just going to “cut da paper” before she went to bed. And I didn’t even think to stop her. The next day I was looking for a pair of scissors and remembered that the kid’s scissors were in her room. Because I am a moron and I let my 3 year old sleep with scissors.

  7. Sometimes I think we are like long lost sisters or something because I do the same thing. My daughter is the same age as NikkiZ and I so would tell her to grab the scissors for me too. Last week I was filling a bucket to mop the kitchen floor when I told her to go get the mop cleaner for mommy sitting on the laundry room floor..great idea huh? My husband just looked at me, I said what it has a child proof cap on it. πŸ™‚

  8. Argh, not saying you have a careless attitude to life. That came out wrong πŸ™‚ Just that I do, and I’d probably do way worse without realising! Haha. I remember Amalah writing about Jason leaving Noah in the car…we all have our things!

    I get embarassed about everyday stuff, like my last (and only) speeding ticket…driving 16km over the limit. Stupid thing is, I had just finished passing someone, and I didn’t even slow down when I saw the cop. Haha. Or the time I raced my boyfriend through an orange light (he had been trying to race me on the motorway. So while he stopped at the light, because he SAW the cop car sitting at the intersection, I went through smashing my horn and waving out the window.) Naturally, I got pulled over (although I swear I wasn’t putting anyone at real risk, the light was orange not red, it was mostly that I put my foot down and sped through it). Luckily the cops had a sense of humour and when they asked me what happened, I said “My boyfriend was racing me and I wanted to teach him a lesson!” and the guy cop (there was one male, one female) said “Well do you want me to go chase him down and arrest him for you?” He was laughing, I didn’t even get a ticket! Woo. And I have totally gone offtopic!

  9. HA! I left sissors within reach of my first son, Toad, when he was around 2 1/2. I then went and took a shower – I know – brilliance. He walked into the bathroom carrying his passy in the blades of the sissors!

    Well, at least it got ride of the passy, right!?

  10. ok – so, what, not even two hours later? I have another tale for you. If Girl! wakes before 8, she showers with me. Today she woke right after I posted my comment here (it was like 730 EDT) So, after she got up we got ready to shower. We’ve been doing this for about 6 months now. when she showers with me, I just use her shower/bath gel since it’s tearless. But, I’m exhausted today, so I wasn’t thinking. there we were in the shower, me using my normal Dove pink bar, not thinking. Girl! wants to hold it, so I let her, becuase I was not thinking. she plays with it for about five minutes. then..she RUBS HER EYES. AND SCREAMS. AND SCREAMS. AND SCREEEAAAAMMMMMS. I grab my washcloth – my SOAPY washcloth to wash out her eyes…yeah. More screaming ensued. FINALLY I got her eyes flushed out and she was feeling better, but now she looks like a tiny baby stoner, with bright red bloodshot eyes. πŸ™‚

    I wonder if she’s going to be so quick to want to shower with me next time?

  11. Honey, that’s nothing and it’s just fine. My daughter tried to climb out of the crib yesterday and, thank goodness I was right there, she dumped out onto her head. Her 4 year old brother was showing her. Yikes! I let him climb in and out but didn’t think about the monkey-see-monkey-do aspect.

  12. I would probably do the same.

    You know what? There is a positive spin in you forgetting how old she is. You see her as an individual, independent person. That is Mom of the Year material right there, no?

  13. I’ve done some dopey things, like asking Pitter to carry his bowl of cereal from one area of the room to another, and then I actually get angry when he turns the bowl upside down. As if he hasn’t done that 80% of the time he’s been in charge of carrying a bowl of something scatterable and milky.
    So I hear ya.

  14. This is why I can never have kids, and why it’s exceedingly easy for me to get out of baby sitting.

    Along with the fact that I think “sit still, be quiet, and read” is a great game for a 4 year old. Who knew a 4 year old’s reading is tentative at best? And mostly out loud?

  15. So, I didn’t encourage it or anything, but when we were moving last month, I turned around and Alliclaus had our orange boxcutter in her hands and she had gotten the blad to push out. I did my best not to scream at her (I failed) that that was for MOMMIES and PAPAS and JUST GIVE IT TO MOMMY, NO DON’T TRY TO EAT IT!

  16. I think we all have our dumb moments. When my youngest daughter was a couple weeks old we had just come home from visiting my mom, (and in my defense I also had an 11month old and a 2 year old) well my husband and I got all the kids upstairs and I unlocked the door and let everyone in. Then I started getting stuff ready to make dinner and my husband was watching tv. I walked back in the living room and I heard someone crying. I asked my husband if he heard anyhing, and before he could even answer I yelled, OMG I left the baby on the porch! Luckily she was covered up very good, because um.. it was the middle of December(but I live in Ca. so it’s not that cold!).

    She was actually only out there for a few minutes, but I felt so awful. I think sometimes our brains just go into overload. It happens to everyone.

  17. Dude- just the other night I was cooking and my son (who is exactly nikkiZ’s age) was “helping.” I started chopping veggies when I saw him waving a knife around the chopping board like he was going to chop, too. My first thought was “Oh, how cute! He’s trying to be like mommy!” Then I CAME TO and shrieked because MY BABY WAS WAVING AROUND ONE OF THE SHARPEST KNIVES IN THE HOUSE AND I THOUGHT IT WAS CUTE!


    The knives now live ON TOP of the counter in a jar where he still can’t reach.

  18. My generation survived Lawn Darts, big cars with naughahyde seats and no seatbelts, head injuries on bikes without helmets, smoking during pregnancy, and so much more. She’ll be fine. Kids who aren’t allowed to mess up or take chances don’t learn common sense. Stop worrying.

  19. That? Is a great story. I don’t have kids, but I have some other kinds of stupid stories. Most of them involve me opening my big fat mouth. Like this one time I was in a meeting at work with my entire department, and someone asked me my opinion on something because “you look so inscrutable right now,” and I replied with, wait for it, “Huh. That’s the same reason so many of my relationships have failed.”

    True story. The end.

  20. Hey, if we don’t teach our children to run with scissors correctly when they are 2, they won’t learn and then when they’re 16 their peers who run with scissors will make fun of them when they don’t know how. Right? Right?

  21. I had to comment. I have been MIA for quite a while due to personal issues. But now I am back and I just had to leave you a comment, well two really.

    First- You look so beautiful! I love the picture MrZ took of you.

    Second- Honey, please. I do stuff like that a lot. Especially when I am pregnant. I think it has to do with the whole sleep debt thing. Sometimes you just don’t really realize what you are doing. Don’t fret. It happens to the best of us!

  22. Um. Yeah. My 4 yo girl is VERY independent. She like to do everything “MY sef!” Like buckle her car seat (see where this is going?). Which she usually does every morning and then I check it and then away we go. Except those mornings when I am a bit sleep deprived – those are the mornings I fail to check it. And invariably, those are the mornings the little voice from the backseat informs me she is not yet buckled up. And yes, I’ve done this on more than one occasion. (shame shame shame guilt guilt guilt)

  23. Oh…..I win….but I don’t want to win. But in the spirit of making you feel better, Kim, I will share. When my son was about 18 months old I was in a huge rush to get ready to go to work. I set the iron up in the living room downstairs and realized I had left my blouse upstairs. So I told him (my 18 month old BABY mind you) Zachary – (pointing at the iron) “do not touch – HOT! HOT!” And ran upstairs. And….he touched…and blistered his tiny fingers. I never in a million years thought I woud have been so stupid…but I was in a hurry and couldn’t be late for work and thought I could run upstairs for one second and and and …well, I just was stupid. It was awful….. but we turned out just fine in spite of it. Saddest thing ever? When people would see the bandage on his hand and say “poor baby – what happened?” and Zack would just say “hot”. Only he couldn’t pronounce the “”H so he said “ot”. I am cringing as I even type this!!!!! Ughhhhhhhhhhh.

  24. At the risk of being misunderstood….it was awful….I felt awful anjd guilty and relieved and thankful…..just a rush of the most intense emotions ever. I sob-bed and said thank you thank you thank you for not letting it be “worse” than burnt precious fingers…but that in spite of my massive mistake he was okay.

  25. I don’t have kids, but I am frequently dumb. (BTW, I love that you share these moments with everyone, I’m not brave enough.)

  26. Jen – The same thing happened to my baby sister, except it was a hot plate that my mom put in front of her (she needed more room on the table and was shifting things around). My sister, too, touched it, burned her little hand, and hand a “boo-boo.”

    The worst part? After that, whenever we didn’t want her to touch something, instead of saying no, we would point to it and say “HOT!”

  27. When I was 6, my brothers were 5, 3, and 2. We had a barbecue and the 3 year old went RIGHT NEXT TO my dad and leaned to try to climb into the bbq pit to see what was up there. Needless to say, it was extremely hot and he had to go to the hospital and get Mickey Mouse bandages on his hands. My parents felt awful, but a) it could have been worse b) there were a ton of kids around and you just can’t watch everybody all the time c) there were a bunch of adults too and d) Luke was just really quick about it. Not trying to be sneaky, just one of those things that a curious kid might do. Try not to guilt yourself over it too much; nobody was hurt and she probably won’t even remember it!

  28. Hey Jen – don’t worry about it, I’m sure any of us would have done the same without thinking at least once in our life πŸ™‚

  29. I love that for a second you were gonna let her take the fall for you. I totally have screwed up before and my husband is correcting/scolding the children for something I told them was ok. I also take a second to admit it was not them but me. It is funny how we all think,”yea, what he said.”

  30. When David was 4, Betsy was 2.5, and Jane a newborn, frazzled Nancy was attempting to pack for a rare visit to her inlaws. Betsy came into the room and babbled something something something ALL BY MYSELF! Nancy said, yes honey, all by yourself.
    A half hour later, Betsy reappeared, having used the huge metal non-childproof scissors to chop off all of her hair–all by herself! πŸ™‚
    (Betsy is my mom, Nancy my grandmom, and this happened in 1947.)

  31. Hmmm, where to start in the mum of the year category. How about letting the kids get their own breakfast (at 2 and 4 years old) to enjoy an attempted sleep in, only to come downstairs to see them cutting mangoes with a meat cleaver on the floor. Fortunately the hands were all in tact and the mangoes all eaten. OR the time the kids did a painting for poppy, with oil paints of course and girl child ended up blue for weeks. OR when I left the paint tin unattended (just to put girl child in bed for a nap) to find boy child re-painting the feature wall from red to coffee…. Do I need to go on?

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