Well – I am WORN THE HELL OUT. I spent the morning digging through LilZ’s Nana’s storage for some of his old things. Unfortunately – no one has touched that garage in years and there was quite a bit of mouse poop layering everything. And dust. And spider nests/eggs. IT WAS FUN. I kept trying to remember what the episode of “Little House On The Prairie” was that everyone (or was it just one person?) died (or did they just get sick?) from some sort of disease (botulism? plague? Ebola?) because there was rat poop in the flour they were using to make bread. Was I going to get that same illness and die? Probably. By the time I left I was certain I was already dead.
I might have been over-reacting a little bit.
Going through all of those things made me a bit sad. It put me face-to-face with exactly how little we had when LilZ was a small child. The clothes I saved were so raggedy because they were mostly hand-me-downs anyway. It was just a little pitiful seeing it all and comparing it to the nicer clothes we have for NikkiZ. I don’t even buy her really nice stuff, but it’s at least new. He wasn’t even that lucky.
But – that didn’t stop me from bringing it all home for AndyZ! There were a few just-for-LilZ items in there. Mostly Tie-Dyed shirts with dancing bear patches that I bought him because I thought he should be just as much of a Deadhead as his mother. Poor kid. He never had a chance with a Mom like me.