We all know how much I love my beloved OB/GYN – Dr. SoNice. I love him with all of my heart. And up until June – I loved every other doctor in his practice. Just not as much as him. Which is a good position to be in. Then, I met Dr. Jackass with my last miscarriage. I began hating him with all of my soul.
Well – now it’s time for the rotation portion of this pregnancy. I have to see each doctor in the practice at least once in case I need them for the birth part of this pregnancy. It’s a good practice, when you don’t desperately hate one of the doctors. Which I do.
I was trying to decide what to do about Dr. Jackass. On one hand – I have every right to refuse to see one of the doctors. On the other hand – what if he’s the only one on call when/if I go into labor? If I did need him when he was on call, and I still hated him this much, it would make the birth of my child marred by hatred and conflict. Whereas, if I give him another chance, maybe he’ll redeem himself. Rumor is – his patients love him. Most are shocked when they find out he is the doctor in the practice I hate. Maybe he had a bad day. Maybe he’ll be beyond awesome this time around. Maybe he’ll leave his jackass tendencies at the door. If I don’t give him a chance to be better – then I’m going to be in a bad place if the worse-case scenario happens and I need him.
So – after my visit with Dr. Hyper today (the kind of doctor I would love if I was a normal pregnant woman) – I made my appointment to visit Dr. Jackass in four weeks. Chances are, I’ll never have to see him again. Out of five doctors, chances are one of the ones I love will be on call if I have an emergency. And since I’m planning on scheduling a c-section, hopefully we’ll be preemptive and won’t have those emergencies. But – if I do need him – at least I’ll have given him a chance to make nice.
Or at least given myself a chance to kick him in the balls. We’ll see how I feel that day.
I was in the same situation. Of the five (five? six? nineteen?) doctors in the group, I hated (HATED) one. With a purple passion. He was rude, he rushed me, and I hated him. Of course, the two times we went in to the labor ward with contractions and “bloody show”, HE was the doc on call. And he sent me home. Both times. When the nurses were begging him to let me stay, because I was OVERDUE. I still hate him.
I had a similar situation. I discussed it with the doctor I loved. She offered to make sure that she was the one who delivered me, no matter what. Now this is an extremely busy, successful practice and my doctor is so busy she does not take new patients, but she did do that for me. It’s worth having a discussion. Good luck. I can’t imagine how awful it would be for you to have that doctor deliver your baby.
I also had a couple of OB’s in my practice that I wasn’t overly fond of. But, when the time came to deliver my son, I figured that whomever was passing out the good drugs was good enough for me.
And it worked.
Good luck.
There’s a doctor like that in my OB’s practice as well [course, now I’m overly nosy and wonder where you go and who you see, LoL], but luckily, it seems that most of the other patients and nurses that I’ve spoken with say several others have issues with him as well and they have scratched him off my rotation list.
I understand, and think so highly of you for being the bigger person and giving him another chance. I hope it goes well. As much as there is so stress about with pregnancy [especially by one who’s lost before], there’s no room for the stress of a nasty doctor on your plate.
Since we go to the same practice….I am pretty sure that “Dr. Hyper” is my primary OB. I love him. There is one I don’t like but I have already seen him this time and won’t have to deal with him again. I still have to see Dr. Aloof, Dr. Hand holder/car salesman and Dr. So Nice.
Umm…I had a scheduled induction (with MY OB) and I ended up being in labor so long that I had a different doctor for my emergency c-section. She was nice, but not what I was hoping for. So…even ideal situations don’t always work out.
Sarah – Zoot uses the same practice we do.
Kick him in the balls I bet you would feel better after that. 🙂
Hey, if you don’t like him, I guess just don’t request him…I’ve had a couple of experiences with medical professionals who have upset me too.
Firstly was when I was really depressed and I had overdosed…I had taken about 4 overdoses on previous occasions before it, but each time I had to go to hospital. Now, don’t get me wrong, I felt like a total jackass for wasting hospital time. But I had a doctor who actually TOLD Me that. He said “You’re wasting our time from people who actually NEED it.” What a clever thing to tell someone who had already hit rock bottom and who had tried to kill themselves about an hour earlier! Luckily the nurse who was working with me was so lovely…he told me he’d been in my position before and totally understood. I had him a couple of times that I was in hospital for that reason, and he was so nice to me each time. It really made me feel better (although I really do still feel like an asshole for using up their time).
The second one was when I showed up for a cervical smear…there was some medicine I was meant to be taking or something and I had forgotten ’cause I was under so much stress (Uni exam time, decisions about the next year, having abnormal cells and therefore being back for another test, nothing REALLY bad but enough to make me on edge constantly). She snapped at me and I said “I don’t feel comfortable doing this anymore” just before I burst into tears…she was totally taken aback and realised she’d upset me, and ended up being really lovely. She must just have been having a bad day too. So they can redeem themselves 🙂
I’m sure if you either ask not to use that doctor, or actually tell the doctor that you found him upsetting last time, he may reassess how he treated you. 🙂 I know I’ve snapped at people in the past and regretted it. That being said, maybe hes just an asshole. haha. Either way, I hope it all goes well!
Damn, I used the wrong email above…
Oh sorry, last thing! (3 comments in a row, so sorry!)
When my Mum had me, her doctor had been up all night delivering another baby (who’s mother was a friend of my Mum’s, incidentally). I think something happened to make Mum worry…she was 2 weeks late and I think perhaps she had started bleeding or something? I can’t remember what it was, but it was enough to make her drive to the emergency clinic, and not because her waters had broken or anything.
Anyway…her doctor said “Just go home and come back later on if its not better” because he was so tired. Well Mum insisted that he inspect her, and it was lucky, ’cause there was something wrong and something terrible could have happened to me if she hadn’t stayed. So SCREW what the doctor thinks! Always do what your instincts say, in every situation, not just baby situations (although you know that anyway :))
(I wish I could be more specific with that story, I heard it when I was younger so I had no idea about any pregnancy complications blah blah that it could have been :))
Does Dr. Jackass know that you lost the baby last time? Because that kind of makes him look like even more of a jackass. I hope the nurses update him or something and keep him from making an even big jerk of himself.
Oooh, that happened to me too. I went to see a dr. that was on rotation with mine, and WHY I picked that one, I don’t know. My SIL had him as her OB, and he recommended that she abort my nephew, who had a slightly higher than normal risk of downs’ syndrome…she didn’t do it, and he was perfectly normal. When I went there, I told him that I had ‘white coat syndrome’ and always had slightly high bp readings, but he made me lie on the table on my left side for over an hour so he could test me again, and also told me that I was too big and gaining too much weight…I’d gained 15 lbs, and was in my 8th month. When I had my c-section, I looked down to see who was assisting my dr? Him. Of course. I tried to just ignore him, and not let it ruin my special day.
I hope he redeems himself.
Let us know how this goes. My practice is similar, and I have a similar situation, though I call him Dr. Critical and Condescending. But Jackass is a nice catch-all. I am not pregnant again, but I hope to be in the future, and I don’t think praying for him to retire or leave the practice is going to work…
Let me first say, and sorry for the delay, but: I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! ANOTHER BABY!! WOOOOT!!!!
I had the same problem. LOVED all the doctors but one. And that’s the b**** that delivered my baby. I’m convinced that if I didn’t have her on call, I wouldn’t have needed a c-section. Crossing my fingers that your dud turns out to be a stud.