Many of you know from my other blog that LilZ had asked for loft bed/futon for his birthday. This was not your typical twin-on-top bed, because the one he found had a full-sized mattress on top. This was perfect for several reasons. One – he currently sleeps on a full-sized bed and had no desire to downsize. Especially since he is surely not done growing. (Save us.) And two – the weight limit on the bed was more than 400lbs. This is necessary since you know that no kid can have a loft bed without inviting a few friends up to join him. And when those friends are adult-sized, you need the extra support.
We looked around for months (I promise, we did, please don’t send me links! Thanks!) and the most affordable one we found we still out of our range. Then, I got laid off. And it was harder to justify spending more than the original birthday budget.
The dilemma was this: LilZ has very willingly offered to give up his large room and take NikkiZ’s room so the small kids can share a bigger room. When I say “very willingly” I mean that he’s actually excited about the sacrifice. So, we were really hoping to reward him somehow, while also making efficient use of space. His current room offers plenty of seating options for friends. His new room will offer one: levitating mid-air above the furniture. And only one of his friends has mastered that skill so far.
Long story short: We just couldn’t do it. We could almost squeeze the money out for the frame, but the mattresses were out of the question as were the delivery/shipping charges. So, we made the decision we knew deep-down was the right one: We couldn’t get him the bed. (We already made the decision! No need to send us alternatives! Thanks!)
But – before I broke the news to him – we prepared an alternative set of birthday gifts. That way, I could say, “Hey – we can’t get you the bed – but we will get you a new TV (his sometimes only shows shades of green and orange – which makes it hard to distinguish between Hannah Montana and Elmo), we’ll get you some sort of chair for your room, and we’ll move one of the house TiVos into your room for you to use.” The house TiVo thing seemed like an easy choice because the one in the living room is used mostly by him anyway.
Well – let’s just say – we had him at TiVo. The second I mentioned he could have the TiVo (which he uses anyway) in his room, he simply rejoiced over not having the bed. He can not wait until we get that set up. Especially with his new TV which suddenly exposed him to Miley Cyrus’ true colors, “Mom…she looks really pale. I thought she was Hispanic.” No, hon. Everyone is hispanic on your television.
It’s funny how kids will surprise you sometimes. He completely understood about the bed. We never promised it to him and always said that we may not be able to get it. With my layoff I think he expected that decision. He was completely fine with the trade off. And actually quite surprised which cracked me up. I mean – honestly – the only person who uses that TiVo is him. We have the cable box on that TV that records on two tuners, the TiVo is a bit excessive. It seems like an easy decision to give that to him. Yet, he acted like we were offering him our cars, he was so grateful.
This eases my guilt significantly. I still feel bad and wish we could give him the bed, but the fact that he seems honestly fine with it, allows me to get some sleep at night. Or at least keep myself up feeling guilty for entirely different maternal reasons. I have a long list to choose from.
The cake is lovely. He’s a good kid. I can understand why you feel bad, but he is happy and that is what is most important.
You can always reward him later after the money starts rolling in, right?
You must be doing something right. What a great kid. We need to get my daughter a new bed too. We’ve actually had to budget it in and will hopefully feel like it’s doable by summer.
You do certainly have a great kid there. I would be excited to have my Tivo in my room as well!!
I love that cake. can I have a piece?
He will have a happier life because of the blessings you have given him…someone who can be happy with what they have, instead of always grieving for more. He will be a better person because he didn’t always get everything.
That kid is a keeper. What a great little family you have.
Thanks for restoring the links to lilz’s and mrz’s flickrs.
Yes, that kid is a keeper. Can I have him?
So joking. But yes, you have a well-adjusted kid there. You should pat yourself on the back, because obviously, you had a little something to do with that.
I know that you have to respect LilZ’s privacy, but I wish you could do more posts like this. I really like learning how you do things with a tween, now teen son because again, you are doing something right over in your neck of the woods.
I remember when I was in college and living in the tiniest dorm room ever; or, at least it felt like it. In the two weeks leading up to parents weekend I must’ve called my dad 20 times asking him if he would buy me a loft bed system when they came up. My dad is beyond handy, so he spent an entire day building one of his own creation – maybe down the line MrZ can dream something up that isn’t too trashy dorm room style.
You’ve got an awfully cool kid there Zoot.
LilZ really sounds like a great kid and so unselfish. My daughter is the same age and I hate to say it, but very selfish. In the same situation she would have been upset and not afraid to show it and tell us we were mean. You have done a great job with him. Kudos!
I know parents want to give their kids everything, but sometimes I wish I had learned that you can always have what you want, and money doesn’t grow on trees, and sometimes, you just can’t afford things. And that’s okay, and you’ll survive. And that’s a great lesson you’re teaching him.
I generally got told I couldn’t have something b/c I “didn’t need it” or because I was punished for something (that I did do, deserving punishment) or some other such reason. But if my Mom had just said, look, we can’t afford it right now, maybe I would have learned to live within my means and I might not have so much credit card debt and such a horrible credit rating. Maybe.
Your kid sounds awesome-I’m sure the apple has not fallen far from the tree :-).